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Well, don't feel bad... my future in-laws seem to think that "wedding invitation = obligation", so much so that they've told us not to send invites to people they know won't be able to make it, so that we don't insult them!
This is the opposite of every etiquette rule I've ever known, but since it's their relatives, I don't know what to do -- I don't feel like it's my place to defend inviting people I don't know very well and, in some cases, haven't yet met.
Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I wonder if this is a generational thing?
@Mitla - I'm not sure if it's generational or not because my family members in the same generation as FI's dad expect invitations even if they can't come. I guess it could be different according to different cultures or maybe it just depends on what kind of things you were exposed to growing up. My family has a lot of that "southern etiquette" stuff :P
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I've posted before about my FFIL - he's caused all kinds of delay with our STDs and is fussy because we are having a destination wedding. Anyway, he called yesterday and was talking to FI and they were discussing the invitations and whatnot. He started going off again about how he thought it was rude to expect people to pay to go to the wedding.
Note: apparently he thinks that if you send someone an invitation, they are obligated to come. I have tried explaining to him repeatedly (and so has FI) that you just have to invite people - it doesn't mean they are expected to come, it just means they are welcome to come if they can/would like to come.
So then he tells FI that we should have our invitations say "no gifts" because now he thinks sending invitations to family that cannot come will make it look like we are only sending the invites to get gifts!
Argh, he drives me crazy - I started to flip out but FI "fixed it" by telling him that the invitations were already printed and that we couldn't change them. Then FI told me that his father doesn't know anything about etiquette so he doesn't know what can and cannot be said and what is and isn't supposed to be done... I understand that but ugh, if he doesn't know anything about it he just needs to stay out of it!
I love my FI but sometimes I don't know how the heck he came out so great when his father is so annoying!!
Sorry, just needed to vent about it... Time to go back to addressing envelopes!