Post # 1
My fiance’s father passed away and it was really shocking to everyone. FI wanted our wedding in his hometown, where his father lived. FI wanted the ceremony in the church he was baptised in and the church his father went to. FI also wanted the reception in the Elks, where his father was a member.
Now that his father has passed, FI has started making comments along the lines of changing things about the wedding. In my opinion, it’s way too soon [after his father’s passing] to think about wedding stuff. We didn’t have anything booked or bought (except my dress and a $6 program kit) so if he wants to change things around now, it’s not a big deal at all. I just think we should give it some time before we start making these kinds of decisions.
His sisters have also approached me and said that we should have the wedding in my hometown now. (My hometown is 11 hours from his hometown, we live 3 hours from my hometown, 14 hours from his hometown)
I don’t know what to do or what kind of advice I’m even looking for. I’m really taken aback by all this talk of changing everything about the wedding because his father passed. Our wedding date (tenative as we haven’t booked anything) is 9 months away and I don’t feel like it would be inappropriate.
My train of thought is to include something in the programs and leave an empty chair, perhaps light a candle, etc. I want to honor his memory however FI sees fit but I don’t want to move the entire location of the wedding.
Has anyone ever experienced something like this?
Post # 3
I’m sorry for his loss. I think that anything your FI wants to do to honor is father is best. Is there another reason you wanted that location other than it was just his father’s hometown? Truthfully, as someone who lost a parent, it might be too hard for him to have it at a location that reminds him so much of his father so soon after his passing. Maybe you could have it where you live now so everyone has to travel (fair for both sides of the family)?
Post # 4
Honestly, I’ll have it wherever and whenever FI wants. I just don’t think he realizes that if he makes that decision now and we sign a contract… Then it’s set in stone. I just want him to take more time to think about it. We don’t have to make any decisions now. The date isn’t set in stone. I just can’t believe they’re thinking about the wedding right now.
Post # 5
So sorry for your loss. My dad paased away in 2005, so when my brother married in 2008, they had 3 empty chairs with a single rose on each, each chair represented where my dad and SIL parents (both her parents passed before wedding) would have sat. There was also a reading in their honor.
My sister also passed away in 2009, so at my wedding we will have 2 candles lit during the ceremony in honor of my dad and sister. We will also have the 2 seats with a single flower and a reading in their honor. The Memorial table will be brought into the reception hall. It will have 2 lit candles, 1 fo each of them, a picture of each of them (or a few pics) and a beautiful globe I found at things remembered that says “Loved ones never leave us as they live forever in our hearts”. My mom will be lighting my dad’s candle and my sister’s grand daughter will be lighting her candle. It’s very important to me that they be remembered during the ceremony because my dad would have walked me down the aisle and my sis would have been my MOH.