Post # 1
OK, so were not even engaged yet, but hopefully it will happen soon. We have looked at rings and all that good stuff, but last night we had a conversation about music at our wedding.
My FH told me that he wanted his Dad to be the band at our wedding. Just some background info on his dad:
-His band has been together for 20 years
-He is really, super talented
-they play texas, blues music
Now, that being said….I dont want Blues music played on my wedding night! A night that is supposed to be filled with ROMANCE not blues!
I told him nicely that maybe his dad could play during cocktail hour that way he would be able to enjoy the festivities, instead of worrying about playing the whole night. He said that his dad would want to play all night and wouldn’t want to socialize at all.
Honestly I know that it’s important to compromise in this situation because it’s kind of a sensitive subject, but I want people dancing and having fun at our wedding not “lounging to blues” music.
I’m just not sure what to do, and I’m not sure if there is anyway out of this one. Does anyone have any suggestions they could offer?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
My instinct is that no, it’s not a good idea, but I can’t necessarily back that up. Have you actually talked to FFIL about this? Because your BF might not even really know what his father wants to do at the wedding; he could be dead wrong. 😉
Post # 4
Hmm. Tough one. You don’t want to offend him or seem unappreciative but it’s not the sort of music you want. Honestly, I think it’s kind of weird that he would want to be playing all night at his son’s wedding. Obviously he loves playing music, but still – there’s a time and a place. I think it would be cool for them to play during cocktail hour, though. I think you need to come to some sort of compromise with him where he plays for the cocktail hour but not the entire reception. As father of the groom he should be socializing with his family and friends and getting to know your family and friends better and honestly I think I’d be a little offended if my FFIL didn’t want to socialize at all at the wedding! I mean, he’s in a band, he’s onstage all the time, it’s not like he has social anxiety disorder or anything.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception
I had the same situation, HoneyBear! My FI’s parents are both in a country/classic rock cover band together. They wanted to be the entertainment at the reception, and seemed really excited about it, but the problems were 1.) their band is not that good and 2.) we’re not really into county/classic rock for the reception. I had FI handle this situation for sure, but we decided that he should tell them that since they are the parents of the groom, people would want to celebrate with them and congratulate them and whatnot. Seems to have worked!
Post # 6
i hear you say you want romance but how much dancing and partying can you do to romance when blues will get the crowd up and dancing and paryting? (unless i got the wrong interpretation of blues)
plus its what your FI wants
i would say yes
Post # 7
@eloping- What I meant by romance, i guess, is that I want certain songs for our first dance, the father/daughter dance etc… that he doesn’t know. Also he is somewhat hardheaded in that he wont take requests and really only wants to play the music him and his band writes. I really just want a variety of music because there will be a variety of people at the wedding, and if there is a song they dont like playing at that moment, the next song may get them up and dancing. I know it’s impossible to please everyone, but I want everyone to have a good time. Maybe it’s just me but I dont think blues is appropriate for a wedding
Post # 8
I think having them at the cocktail hour would be fine, but your FI needs to tell them that since they are the parents of the groom, they have a social responsibility to be social and gracious partial hosts. Even if they’re not paying for the wedding, they still are his parents and people will want to congratulate them!
Post # 9
I’d say no. It’s his son’s wedding, you don’t want him working it! Plus, what if something goes badly? If you’ve contracted someone, you can do something about it legally. If it’s just FFIL and his band, it’s just years of bad feelings.
Post # 10
Im gonna bump this because i would like some more opinions and im shameless lol
Post # 11
I like your compromise to let him play during cocktail hour. But not all night. You should have music that you like!
Post # 12
They’re a blues band…but do they play other genres?