Post # 1
Today 2 BMs, my Maid/Matron of Honor, a BMs sister and mom (who are like family) and my mom all got together to plan my shower and they wanted to me to be there too to make sure I was ok with what they were planning. They got on the subject of the bachelorette party and we decided we are going to go to dinner, then a place where you bring your own drinks and paint, then to a hotel for spa treatments. I said that I wanted my mom, my aunt and BMs mom to go too at least to dinner. Then my mom said that my Flower Girl and her mom (my cousin and aunt) should be invited too, at least to dinner because she’s in the wedding party. Now, I didn’t want a Flower Girl in the first place, but my mom insisted that we have one. I said I didn’t want to invite Flower Girl and aunt because I want it to be an adult evening…even the dinner. My mom kept saying that Flower Girl and aunt needs to be invited. The other girls were saying it would be nice if they were invited, but once they saw I was getting upset, they said it should be whatever I want because it’s my party, but my mom is still insisting that Flower Girl and aunt should be invited to dinner.
Am I wrong for not wanting a 6 year old and an aunt I NEVER see at my bachelorette party? Even only at dinner.
Post # 3
@Fall_In_Love22: I think bachelorettes should be adults only– at least 18+.
Post # 4
I think bachelorettes should be adults only and NOT include mothers, aunts or any other “motherly” type people AT ALL. It’s a last hurrah for you, your BMs and your closest gfs.
Post # 5
@mrs_g.mck: To be fair, I’m not the party, bar hopping type of person. I asked for a low key party and I’m glad to have my mom, aunt, and my BMs mom at dinner. Those three are only going to dinner and for painting and the hotel, it’s just me and my friends.
Post # 6
Including a 6 year old in ANY bachelorette party activities is inappropriate, imo. There’s no reason for her to be there and considering you don’t want to include her, that should be enough. We didn’t have any young girls in our Bridal Party but my 3 younger male cousins were our ushers and Ring Bearer (aged 6, 13 & 14) and none of them were included in DH’s bachelor party. It’s one thing to invite the girl to the bridal shower but the bachelorette party is a completely different story.
Post # 7
@Fall_In_Love22: I think you can invite whoever you want. However, if its going to cause family sh*t if you don’t, you may want to suck it up and let them come to dinner.
I kind of had to invite BIL’s Girlfriend to my bachelorette party (well my BMs did). I don’t like her, she totally hates me. SIL asked BIL and he said we should invite her or it would cause more ‘issues’ between them (they have a pretty bad relationship). I basically didn’t talk to her all night and she stayed away from me (so I don’t even know why she bothered coming) so it was fine.
Post # 8
I think Bahelorette parties are usually 18+ but I think that depends entirely onthe bride and the type of party. I think that most of the activities you are doing for your Bridal Party are entirely suitable for a younger person especially of they are around adults having a few drinks (not total booze blowout) at other times. I think it depends on what you want and how big an issue not inviting them would be.
Post # 9
It would be completely inappropriate to have a little girl at your bachelorette party, low-key or not. Explain to your mom that your shower is for the women attending, but the bachelorette is about YOU. It’s not formal, I’m guessing there will probably be some drinking, and it would be both irresponsible and bizarre to include a child.
Enlist the help of your BM’s to explain what the normal ettiquette for a bachelorette party is if she won’t back down. Or just go rent a The Proposal and tell her to imagine a small child in the bachelorette party scene.
Post # 10
I don’t see any reason the Flower Girl should need to be at the Bach party
Post # 11
It’s your bachelorette party… you should have who you want.
Post # 12
@Fall_In_Love22: I’m confused. In what way is a bachelorette party for kids? Would she be as adament about the ring bearer being at the bachelor party? Even if there aren’t strippers gyrating in your faces (and for all she knows one of your bridesmaids has that up her sleeve) you are going to be having ADULT conversations and don’t need to watch yourselves because there is a 6yo there. This is ridiculous, it’s a bachelorette, not the shower.
Post # 13
Inappropriate for the 6 yo to be there, but given you’ve invited all of the other family, I can see the pressure to have the aunt there too so she’s not left out. That said, I would never have my mom/aunts there! For me, it’s my generation – my friends, and the only relatives are the ‘maids (my sister, my cousin, SIL).
Post # 14
@Fall_In_Love22: OP, I feel you’re in the right on this one. I don’t think a bachelorette party is appropriate for a child, even if she is the Flower Girl and it’s only for dinner. Hopefully your aunt will decline the invitation if your Mom persists.
Post # 15
The aunt I would invtie to avoid drama, but the 6 year old shouldn’t be at a bachlorette party, even at a bridal shower (at least if it were my family–my mom doesn’t care what’s inappropriate for a bridal shower but that’s ok because she is super fun and funny lol).
If you do invite the aunt and 6 year old either one of two things will happen: Either everyone will censor themselves, which will make for boring conversation when the bach party should be hilarious and fun OR the aunt will get pissed at how inappropriate this all is and leave.
Yes to the aunt (although you don’t have to) and DEFINATELY no to the 6 year old.
Post # 16
@megz06: Good point! How do you talk about certain intimate things they might want to discuss in front of a little kid? I’d be ticked off, too. A bachelorette should be fun and just a little raunchy, lol. Kid will nix that in a heartbeat.