Post # 1
My fiance has finally decided to take a look at the guest list that I started a couple weeks ago for our wedding. I had already added in the majority of his family and friends as well as parents of friend’s that he also mentioned he would want to invite. The problem I’m having is, I’m paying for everything myself and I’ve stated several times that I would like to have 150-200 guests, closer to 150 than 200. How do I get him to understand that just b/c someone is on your fb friend list or you speak to them at the gym, it doesn’t mean they need to be invited to your wedding???? No matter how many times I say it, he still seems to move from one person to others who are included in “shouldn’t even be on the radar” pile. He’s now added basically 22 people from his work on the account of “it’s either all or none.”
I’m not even sure if what I’ve said makes any sense but he’s driving me crazy!!! haha
Post # 3
Welcome to the nightmare of guest list making! Just kidding, we’ve all been there, and I can completely sympathize with you. My best advice would be to decide your overall number first. If you need a little “help” determining your number, maybe look at venues first and get their capacity counts so you know how many people you can have if you want your ceremony/reception at that place.
Then, divide out the numbers. FI gets X, you get X, and parents get X (if applicable). Then it’s up to them to choose their peolpe, but they can’t go over their count. That’s what worked best for us. Good luck and hang in there!
Post # 4
It also helps to have a dollar amount for the all-in cost of each guest — even if it’s just a ballpark. Once he realizes that each person is going to add, say, $200 to the total cost, maybe he’ll have an easier time prioritizing! “Hey, those coworkers of yours are going to cost about $5k to invite. Are you sure you need to invite all of them?”
Post # 5
Haha it is a nightmare!! We have actually already booked our ceremony/reception site as well as the caterer. The catering bill is what’s got me all attached to the 150 number. I could care less about hurting an acquintance’s feelings after I saw the bill for appetizers, wine, and beer for 200 people….which was over $7000!
Post # 6
@iarebridezilla: Good point. I’m going to throw that one at him now!
Post # 7
@Soon2B_MrsS: I tend to agree with your FI on the co-worker aspect. It really is all or nothing, the all only being 22 people means that he works in a small environment. Which in turn means that if he invites Mr Smith, but not Mr john, these people will know and Mr john will be offended and that in turn could ruin the remaining career he has at his company.
If he worked in one of those overtly huge corporations with thousands of workers in different levels, that would be a case of either all or nothing of his department.
I work in a small office, and if I were to only invite certain people, I know the rest would be offended and that could potentially affect a raise or promotion now or in the future.
Post # 8
I think he should invite his bosses, absolutely. However, all of his co workers don’t even technically work in the same state much less the same office. He travels for work and the people I’m kind of pushing back on all work in a different county that he is no longer in. So some of these people he hasnt physically seen or talked to since the company Christmas party. Kind of confusing but they are all are residents of our state and come home on the weekends.