Post # 1
We are having a destination wedding, ceremony on the beach. Originally, I thought I would get a simple dress for the beach and I told my fiance that he can wear what I have seen before in destination wedding pics – khaki pants and a white shirt (simple and light).
Well, I had some issues with my simple dress I got in that I didn’t like it anymore and felt it was too plain, as this was my WEDDING dress, something i will get to wear only once in my life! So i sold my first dress, and ended up with a fancier dress (see pic below). I still think my dress is fun and appropriate for a beach wedding, but definitely fancier than what I initially planned.
So now I think it would be great if my fiance and I could “match” in our level of fancy-ness and that he should at least wear a suit. I suggested a light or tan colored one since we will be on the beach, and by no means does he have to keep the jacket on – just for a few formal pictures.
BUT he was apparently set on something inexpensive and less formal and doesn’t understand why I would want him to suddenly wear something different. He is someone who HATES shopping for clothes and will spend the least amount and time when it comes to clothes. But i just thought for our wedding, he would be a little more lenient and willing to accommodate what i want!
Am I being a diva and asking too much, especially since I originally told him something else that he was apparently happy with and set on?
And if he has way, will we be mismatched our wedding??
Post # 3
Sorry, but I think your FI should wear something that he is comfortable wearing for the wedding too. It is his day too. He is happy with what you originally chose, so I would go with that. I am sure he won’t look out of place next to you.
Post # 4
I think you can compromise.. He doesnt have to wear a suit, but he definitely needs to make it dressier than just khaki pants and shirt. Maybe he can add a tie and vest? This will be more formal then just a shirt but not as formal as a suit.
Post # 5
I would try to compromise but i do think for pictures it would look best if he had a tan suit since your dress is more formal. Can you gather pictures of different beach looks and try to explain why you think it is important for the two of you to be dresses similar. Plus he is the groom he is suppose to stand out!! Here is what my friend did. The groom wore a light weight tan suit and the groomsmen were more casual.
My husband wanted to wear his old beat up brown cowboy boots with his black tux.. our wedding was formal. I knew this was a bad idea from day one so i went and bought him black boots. He liked them and decided it was ok and we were both so glad he had black boots on because the brown old ones would have ruined the pictures! Try showing him pictures so he can visualize what you are talking about. Or even go shopping and check out some options at dillards or mens wearhouse.
Post # 6
Why not compromise and go with a light seersucker suit. It’s a little more dressy but still very light and comfy.
Post # 7
My suggestion would be to go to a bridal salon and try on a dress similar in ‘fanciness’ to yours, and have him stand next to you in first what he wants to wear, and then in what you would prefer him to wear. Maybe seeing how each outfit would look compared to the fancy dress could help you two come to an agreement.
Post # 8
I think your FI should look nice. You will have these pics forever. I have seen pics of a groom in khakis and a button up collared t shirt and all I could think of was, why would he wear that on his wedding day?
Post # 9
It’s his wedding too so he should be comfortable. Otherwise, it will show in the pictures and his attitude throughout the event if he’s wearing something that he doesn’t like.
Post # 10
What are your bridesmaids and groomsmen wearing? I’ve been to a wedding where the bride had on a fancier dress, but the groom, groomsmen and bridesmaids all wore something pretty casual. It didn’t seem that odd because, well you expect the bride to be more dressy.
Overall, you have a lot of options.
Post # 11
My daughter had a beach wedding too and her husband also just wanted to be more casual with no jacket or tie. She really had to talk him in to a suit, and once he tried it on he was excited, as long as he didn’t have to wear a tie. She let him win that one. He wore a beautiful linen suit and a white linen shirt. Groomsmen wore just shirts and pants (linen as well), and you know that an hour into the reception, it really didn’t matter one bit.
I think you can show him some pictures and let him decide (with some guidance).
Post # 12
thanks for the advice everyone. i was getting a bit frustrated when i posted this last night. but i am trying to keep the bigger picture and not get hung up on the little things.
i suppose i should have made a third poll option which would be to find a compromise! ultimately that is what we will have to do. i also think i need to wait a few weeks before i bring it up with him again. then when we are not stressed about it, i will go to a store with him as some of you suggested and he can try on outfits until we are BOTH happy. i also told him last night that i don;t want him to be hot and bothered out in the sun, jus that since i am more fancy, i want him to be a little more fancy too….but that we can find something that IS comfortable AND fancy! i think he thought i wasn’t considering his comfort at all, which is not the case. plus as i said, he knows nothing about clothes, so until i show him, he will be a little stubborn. thanks again!
Post # 13
i like the idea of the tan suit, if you take the jacket off it can be just as comfortable as a t-shirt and pants (if they fit right) but you are moving into a life of compromise, this is a good opportunity to practice it, talk to him about how you feel, use pictures to give him an idea of the good and the bad look and try to make him visualize it, men are very visual so this should help… let us know
Post # 14
Let him wear what he wants to wear. I think what he originally wanted to wear would be fine for a beach wedding.
Post # 15
DEFINITELY let him wear what he wants. He didn’t tell you what to wear; you should give him the same courtesy! Besides, what he originally wanted to wear sounds fine.