(Closed) FH doesn't want to invite his cousin's husband…

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: do we invite him?
    yes : (25 votes)
    93 %
    no : (2 votes)
    7 %
    i have another opinion - see below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think that is incredibly rude.  You have to invite spouses.

     

    On a side note, it doesn’t make them jerks to have rules about what people can do for THEIR kid.  My husband and I do as well.  No one has a problem with it, because they are our children.  Parents have the right to do those sorts of things.  Now, maybe A&P are nasty about it, but just having rules regarding their kids is pretty normal to me.  I don’t know many parents who don’t.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1353 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Nope, totally inappropriate. The ONLY reasons that would be appropriate would be if P had done something seriously messed up, like rape, murder, assaulted a family member, but in that case my guess would be that if A were sticking by him she would not be invited anyway.

    Either invite A and P or don’t invite either.

    Sidenote- I don’t think it’s wrong for them to have rules regarding their child. In fact, I think it would be pretty irresponsible if they had no standards for their child.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2300 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    p hasn’t done anything to you – and dividing up him and his wife isn’t ‘staying out of family drama’ it’s clearly getting involved and adding to the family drama. and having rules about what people can do with your kid is fairly standard. it sucks that they are annoying about them, but that has nothing to do with you.

    there is no legitimate excuse here not to invite him – to do so would be super rude and would only fan the fire, there is no question that he should be invited. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Stay out of the drama, you’re only hearing one side of it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1926 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Invite both of them, and let them decide. If they feel like he shouldn’t go to the wedding because of the issues with family, they should be the ones to decide that. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Definitely invite him…stay out of their family drama especially since in this case it has nothing to do with you or your FI.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9507 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    This sounds really cruel and immature on their part. they want to exclude a spouse as revenge for having rules re their kids? I hope you are prepared to deal with this if it ever gets turned on you and for that reason, I would suggest talking to FI about how the family shouldn’t be imposing their will and shunning a spouse like this. Frankly, this is outrageous.  Reasons for shunning are limited to big things like abuse. Shunning is a shame tactic meant to control the target. 

    Invite him but more importantly, talk to your FI about your expectations re family and how they treat each other. 

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