FH Family Problems

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should we go ahead and do what FH family wants?
    Yes : (1 votes)
    8 %
    No : (12 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Your FH and your wishes are the most important.  It is YOUR wedding.  Decide what the two of you want to do and stick to that.  … I’m not sure if your in laws are paying for the wedding… if they are then things can get tricky. 

    Post # 5
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    my theory is simple: your wedding, your money, your choice. simple as that. it’s your day, yours and your fiance’s. nobody else’s.

    if his family is putting money towards it, they have a say. if they’re not? no say at all.

    Post # 6
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Its your guys’ decision. Period. They’ll get over it.

    We’re having a small wedding – 40 guests. It’ll be our parents, siblings and closest friends. No extended family was invited – not because we don’t care for them or anything like that, but because I wanted to have a small, intimate wedding where everything will be done really well (like you – really good food, open bar, etc).

    I would be really mad if my FILs were planning things to the extent that yours did, and especially if they told me that my family didn’t need to come!

    Has your FH stood up to them? If my FI’s family were acting that way I would have him confront them and try to stay out of it myself as much as possible.

    Post # 8
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    No, stick to your guns. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. I think you’ve offered a nice alternative, having a meal with relatives after the honeymoon. 

    I think if your FMIL had said it was ALL the family for the party the next day then that would be a little different. 

    It sounds similar to a situation we had with our wedding (not as major as this but family and wedding related) – my FI and I are not having lots of flowers…just my bouquet, wrist corsages for BMs, buttonholes for the men (groom, two dads, 1 best man and 2 ushers) and corsages for our mums. Anyway, 6 weeks before the wedding his mum decides to ask about flowers and who was having them. We couldn’t work out if it was a “general interest” question or a “tell me now so I can tell you who else to get flowers for” question. Thinking it was probably the latter my FI asked her who she would like flowers for and the answer came “Im not really that bothered” then proceeded to contact every member of HER side of the family who were coming asking them if they would like a flower. (Note: her husbands side or any of my side of the family didn’t even enter her thoughts) After realising that it wouldn’t be fair if only her side of the family had a buttonhole or corsage (she was offering to pay for those ones seeing as it was her idea) when my FI questioned her again on it and got the response “Im not really that bothered”, he called her up on it and said “Fine, the flowers are staying the way they are.” She hasn’t said anything about it but you never know, a comment could be made on the day! I don’t really care…if she was really that bothered then she shouldn’t have said she wasn’t!

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