- 7 years ago
I need advice .. hopefully you bees can help me! I’m struggling with the fact that my fh is entirely unexcited about our wedding. I realize this sounds kind of like a typical groom, but let me explain.
First, fh is NOT a family person. He moved across the country to be away from his family. Mine is also out of state, and although much different than his parents, he still doesn’t like to be around my family much either. Fh’s family is VERY pushy/controlling/whydon’tyoubelieveinGodyet type people and fh just won’t put up with it. Of course weddings *kind of* revolve around family, so there’s that.
Second, fh knew that if he were ever to get married, he would ask his two female friends from back home to stand up for him. So, he did. These girls had major issues with us talking to them about what they would wear, because they didn’t think we (me, specifically) should have any say in what they wore. They thought they could wear black cocktail dresses, we said no. Then they thought they could buy prom dresses on clearance at the end of the summer, we said no. I wanted them to coordinate with the bridesmaids (who are also wearing black) so I gave them three options out of the same line for them to choose from. They were dragging their feet so fh decided to pick a style, because the dresses needed to be ordered. This didn’t go over well with them. At all. They hated the dresses and reiterated that we should have no say in what they wore. This didn’t go over well with us. So to save the friendship, fh decided to ask them to attend as guests to avoid these issues. Fh is actually quite upset that they didn’t step up to the plate and be willing to cooperate, and thinks they won’t show up to the wedding because in his mind they didn’t care enough for him to cooperate so why would they come to the wedding at all. Fh doesn’t make friends very well, so they were the most important people to him and they failed him.
So, having no interest in family, and friends that seem to have no interest in him (this is his attitude, not how I feel), he’s completely uninterested in the wedding. He wanted to elope, but me being a girly girl has dreamed about a wedding since I was a kid, so I wanted the wedding. Granted, it’s a modest wedding, and we are paying for it mostly on our own so we won’t have a ton of guests. I’m just getting frustrated that every time I try to involve him in planning or ask him a question, he doesn’t want to talk about it because he thinks it’s going to be such a crappy day. He thinks that I’m going to turn into a Bridezilla because I watch Bridezillas the show, and he thinks that if anything goes wrong I’ll get angry, and that my family or his will piss me off, and I’ll end up having a crappy day, and that his friends/family will upset him so he’ll have a crappy day, so all in all he’s just not looking forward to it. Don’t get me wrong, he loves the idea of marrying me and our future together. Just not around people. Any suggestions on how I can get him excited?? (BTW, I don’t anticipate turning into a Bridezilla on our wedding day. Yes I’m anal Annie in planning, but if anything goes wrong on that day who care. I’ll just be so happy to marry my Price Charming. Plus it’s just not in my nature to turn into a monster!)