FH thinks 2 months is 'lots of time' – RANT/HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

MsGinkgo:  I say if enough people post on here and tell him 2 months is not enough, and you show to him, I hope he then realizes how less time he has left. 

In all honest, write a list how much things you have left. Put down how many days needed to finish it. Assuming you both work, you only have 3 hours per day to work. Time flies before you know. Bug him non stop, he needs to get on to it! 

Post # 3
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

MsGinkgo:  My husband was the same way. When he told me you plan it and he’d pay for it, he really did end up meaning YOU plan it, lol. So literally all of those things you mentioned above (and then some), I did solely on my own. I would DIY or buy, then excitedly show my husband and he’d smile and say “Look’s great!”, ha. Let’s face it, most guys just aren’t that into wedding planing. Don’t argue over it, it will just cause added stress. Just do what needs to be done yourself, asking close friends/family who are interested to help you. Believe me, you’ll feel better checking things off the guest list, especially being two months out. 

Post # 4
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Commenting to follow for advice as well because I’m sure I’ll need it when my time come!

Post # 6
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

MsGinkgo:  Ahhh… I see. Yea that’s problematic, then. My husband didn’t care about anything other than his attire and the music. Flowers, favors, decor, guest book, etc., whatever I wanted he would just say “Looks great” or “Wow, very nice”. If he did care, and wasn’t putting in effort ESPECIALLY two months out, I’d start to get pissed, annoyed, and worried. 

Tell your fiancé you are checking off “X” on the list this weekend. If he cares enough to help, great. If not, you are doing whatever you want on your own and he can’t say diddly squat because shit needs to start getting done. Two months will fly by so fast. He needs to get with the program that you don’t have THAT much time. 

Post # 7
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MsGinkgo:  so frustrating! I recommend just telling him what tasks need to be done by when and if he doesn’t want to be involved, you will do it but he can’t complain later if he doesn’t like it!

Post # 8
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

MsGinkgo:  I feel like my FI is the same way hes WAY WAY too laid back and I am WAY WAY too type A.  I find getting done myself is easier then waiting for his butt to get in gear.  I would be lying if I said that didnt bother me, but hey its who he is and I have known that the entire 8 years we have dated.  I just keep joking that hes going to find out about all the stuff I have done along with our guests 😉

 

Post # 10
Member
6875 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

My DH didn’t have his shit together either. I had to get on him about asking his groomsmen and getting them gifts. He ended up getting their gifts THE MORNING of our wedding. True slacker style. 

I don’t have much room to talk though because I was a last minute kind of bride myself. It wasn’t until Mid-December/January that we decided we would get married on our anniversary (in MARCH!). I literally booked our venue 3 weeks before the wedding! Most of my little stuff came together 2 weeks to a week before the actual wedding. My life motto, “If you wait til the last minute, it only takes a minute.” Definitely held true throughout the whole thing, lol. 

I don’t think my wedding looks like it was slapped together – but it sure was! Part of it was our small guest list ~20 people. 

How many guests are you having?

Post # 11
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MsGinkgo:  Make a list of tasks and let him schedule when to do them.  Tell him he doesn’t have to do it immediately, but these are the things to have to get done by the wedding.  I think once he sees all the tasks that need to be handled, he’ll appreciate just how little time he has.

Post # 12
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

MsGinkgo:  To be honest, I got him in gear (a little bit) by crying (more than once) and even suggesting we don’t get married. Which seems harsh, but he really wasn’t understanding me and I was going insane!!! He had the exact same opinion as your FI and even though we’re having a super small wedding certain things need to be done on a certain timeline. I mean the man doesn’t even understand the importance of getting a marriage license or ordering his own wedding attire! Sadly he did not listen to me about his clothing, waited until last week to try his clothes on and guess what? His pants are too long. We’re getting married in 3 weeks and 4 days from today. So I guess his pants are gonna be too long. Oh well! Also, we still have no cake, no invitations have been sent out, our livingroom has not been painted (which is a huge must) and we have no decorating plan. I’ve had to throw my hands up and say fuck-it cause if I don’t I’ll be checking into a mental health facility on April 12th instead of getting married.

Post # 13
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

jadlnc:  Your wedding is in three weeks and invites haven’t been sent out yet? Your fiance should take his pants to a tailer.

Post # 15
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MsGinkgo:  Wait, he doesn’t schedule things?  For instance, when he says he “doesn’t want to do it now”, when does he say he plans to do it?

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