FH thinks his family is going to start something…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes, some people can be THAT rude. Sadly, the reason I know this is because I’m related to people like that. It’s only an issue if you think your family/friends will get drawn into a “spirited” discussion with his family if they do end up starting anything.

Post # 4
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Some people would be that rude and disruptive, yes. 

Post # 5
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

It makes me so happy that you’re doing this. It is such a beautiful idea.

Post # 6
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Beautiful idea yes, but I have to agree with your FI on his stance of you could have problems like that. Sadly even in this day and age people are still ignorent, and firmly hold onto the belief that gay marriage is wrong. To me it would be a risk worth taking, but it is something you should be mentaly prepared for because you are making a politcal statement no matter how subtle it may be. 

Post # 7
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It’s possible, but anything is possible. 

This is one of those times were you might have to suffer for what you believe in, but what you are doing is so thoughtful and important that I think it outweighs a bigoted family member. 

I assume that the white knot is about marriage equality, but I haven’t heard of it before. Could you please explain it to me?


Post # 9
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@Bebealways:  I think your idea is very noble, and of course I support equality (hence my avatar photo) but I think you’re stirring up trouble unnecessarily. Raising awareness is great for things like breast or prostrate cancer etc, but (and I’m sorry to be blunt) what you’re planning to do on your wedding day won’t change the world or help anyone, let alone change those people’s hard-rooted views.

To give some perspective, if you attended a friend/family member’s wedding and they had some scientology propaganda posters and badges around the place, you probably wouldn’t be happy. I’m sure you’re a sensible, restrained person and wouldn’t pick any fights, but some of those people probably view LGBT rights as ludicrous and immoral and might pick a fight after some drinks. Yes, even at a wedding.

But I don’t want to come across as attacking your idea as useless, and as I said I’m strongly in favour of marriage equality, so perhaps you could limit people’s drinking by limiting the amount of supplied alcohol, the strength of what is supplied, and if it’s an ‘open bar’ type thing ask the barman to set a 3/4 drink limit to everyone. Arrange the seating plan effectively and plan activities that’ll keep people busy and not lead to overdrinking and too much mingling. Some receptions drag on and on into the late hours of the night which inevitably leads t more and more drinking, messy dancing and confrontations. My reception will be 2 hours long in the afternoon, followed by another 2 hour afterparty finishing by early evening. Could you do the same?

Post # 11
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Bebealways:  I would hope no confrontations occur, that would suck. Then again I’m sure you realize that it is a controversial issue and not everyone is as open minded as you’d like them to be. You may get some eye rolling and there’s nothing you can do about that. Confrontations though, whether verbal or physical, are unacceptable behavior at a wedding. Good luck!

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