Post # 1
I don’t want to offend any lovely bees who adore their men in white tuxes, but personally I am not a fan. My fh seems dead set on wearing one and I cringe everytime he brings it up. I know it’s his day as well, but I imagine our photos will just look washed out with us both wearing white. Any thoughts on how to approach this issue with him? Or should I just let it go? I have seen photos of couples where it looked ok, but I just don’t see it fitting us for a Fall wedding.
Post # 3
My fiance wants to wear white as well, since it is a tradition in his family. At first I was not a fan of this idea at all, but he put it this way: The day is about both of us, and you get to stand out, so why can’t I? That made me at least re-think it, and since then I’ve seen some lovely pictures of weddings where the groom wore all white. So I decided to let it go and hope it all looks good for our May wedding. If you do let him wear white, make sure to take a dress swatch with you when you get his tux so that the whites match perfectly.
Post # 4
I actually wanted FI to wear white, but he refused!
I think regardless of personal preferences, it’s his day as much as yours, so he can choose his outfit within reason. It’s not like he wants to wear jeans!
If it really bothers you, I would let him know once – maybe just ask if he would consider wearing a darker color. If he asks why, you can explain your concern, but make it clear that it’s up to him and don’t pester him about it.
Post # 5
I’m def. not a fan and I think I made that clear early on enough that if he was set on it, he decided not to pipe up! Be thankful he doesn’t want to wear a vintage suit a la Dumb & Dumber. That was my fiance’s responce
But seriously, maybe talk to the dress store you buy your dress from, something tells me this is a common complaint bride’s have. I think guys see it in movies or something and think it’s cool sometimes.
Post # 6
What color do you want him to wear?
I am not really a fan either….what I would do is: when you go to try on tuxes I would try on many different colors (white, black, gray) just so he can see himself in many different options. You might also show him pictures of bridal parties where the men are in white and then some where the men are in the color you prefer.
What I have found with my FI, is that when he gets something in his head that I don’t agree with he will resist considering my option…unless he is forced to, and it usually turns out that once he has experience with my option, he likes it! In the end though, I think if he didn’t budge I’d let him wear white.
Post # 7
OH i’m not a fan of white tuxes either! Probably cuz my dad wore one…in 1983, LOL.
If he wants to “stand out” why not put him in alternating colors than the groomsmen? DH wore a black tux, white vest, white tie, but with a BLACK dress shirt and our groomsmen wore black tuxes, black vests, white dress shirts, and champagne ties. It’s just a little different
Post # 8
Well, I didn’t really want a white dress but am going to get one because my FH wants me in white. Not an uncommon situation I think :). However, I’ve made it clear that while I will look for a white dress (extensively) if I absolutely can’t find a white that looks good on me… what I wear is up to me. I imagine your FH will be similar, if you have a strong preference he will be inclined to satisfy it if he can do so while still being happy with his outfit. If he can’t be happy with his outfit if it’s not while than I think it’s only fair and right he wear white.
Post # 9
Have you hired a photographer yet? I would talk with him or her about what photos with both of you in white would look like. I am sure that this issue can be easily dealt with so you do not look washed out.
Also, has your fiance actually tried on any white tuxes? He might find his mind feels differently once he is wearing something versus seeing it on a hanger. Similarly, you might become more sympathetic to the idea if you see him looking happy and dapper in a white tux.
Finally, if he does wear white on the wedding day and you still don’t totally love it, you can always schedule an after-wedding photo shoot for yourselves where he would wear a dark suit or tux. You could do this as a one-year anniversary present to yourselves.
Post # 10
We have a photographer, I feel asking him about how the photos would turn out is a great idea. I also really like having him try on different styles and try to find something that is unique, but not white. And I also completely agree that it is his day and if his heart is set on it, I need to be flexible. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Post # 11
im in the non-white tux camp… maybe he can do something else like wear crazy shoes (sneakers??) or how about white vests & ties to go with the suits instead (edit, like EJ’s post above)
Post # 12
I actually wanted FI to be in a white suit for YEARS – but he hated the idea and I fell in love with light grey instead and I am way happier with this decision!
I am sure you guys will work this out! Its all about compromise!
Has he asked for much – I give FI most of what he asks for because he doesn’t ask for much but if you are really set against it maybe you can give in on something else he really wants in exchange for non-white suits!
Post # 13
I am NOT a fan of that either. FI was Best Man in a wedding in Aug and the groom wore white and the pics, well, they look ridic. Not trying to be mean, just sharing our experience.
Post # 14
I am not a fan of a white tux…maybe you can talk him into do something else…like wearning a different style tux then the rest of the groomsmen…or a different color tie/vest…or some tennis shoe instead of dress shoes…just tell him you do not like it…and see if you can come to a compromise on it…Or maybe he can change into a white cocktail jacket at the reception…
Post # 15
my fiance wanted white, I REFUSED. I did give him options.
a) Black w/ white (one color pants, one color tux)
b) tan/ light brown (what we’re doing since I have an oyster dress)
c) dark brown ( will be the color of our groomsmen – we’re doing a green/ brown color theme)
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Has he actually tried on a white tux yet? Perhaps if he went and tried one on he would change his mind???