Post # 1
Ok, this is my first post…. just wondering if other people would be totally ticked off. My fiance and I got engaged last September and immediately picked our date. We booked our venue in March at a historical theatre building in our town…. not a typical wedding venue. I was super excited because it took me a long time to pick a place that was unique (I didn’t want a VFW hall with wood paneling all over…. I wanted something classy and special) Well, his cousin proposed to his girlfriend in Feb or March and they picked January of 2010 to get married. We ran into them about a month after and told them our date and venue and everything. As of last month his aunt called me up to ask us our date, because his cousin moved there date up to October 3rd…. one week before our wedding. Then she proceeds to tell me that it’s at the same place! I was dumbfounded. I haven’t made a big deal about it at all, but inside I’m screaming and secretley want to sabotage their wedding, j/k…. but that’s what it feels like their doing to me. But seriously. I don’t know how to re-act and they’ve already put their deposit down and booked their caterer. All of our details are done and even if they weren’t I wouldn’t dream of changing anything. No one has bothered to apologize or mention anything to me…. I feel like someone should say something to them, but I know I’m not goingt to. On one hand I know only a handful of people on his side of the family will be at both weddings, but it was my "vision" to have our wedding there, because I thought it was going to be special…. now we’ll just be following their wedding and even though ours was planned first, I sort of feel like other people will think that we’re copy cats. Not only is it horrible for us, but it’s an inconvience to the family (grandparents and wedding gifts and such) What do all of you think?
Post # 3
Wow. Umm… wow.
Ok. So how close is your fiance with this cousin? Are there going to be a ton of family members attending both events? Because if there are, you’re right, that’s going to come off as totally weird, and I’m really, really sorry. You went through all that effort to find the perfect place, and now… this.
This is totally evil, but have you thought of bumping up your wedding? I know it sounds childish, but they kind of put you in this position and if you genuinely love that venue – the one that *you* hunted for, found, and fell in love with – then I think you should consider it. Especially if you haven’t sent out invites yet.
I’m sure someone’s going to disagree with me, but I don’t really see any other way out unless you want to find a different venue.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
Post # 4
I’m sorry. It must feel like you really thought it out and did the work, and someone else will get the credit. That’s sucky.
The good news is that there will only be handful of people who go twice. ANd really it’s better it’s on your FI’s side, not yours. (I’m guessing here you’re putting more effort, and care more, than your FI.) And since you are the one who has the amazing ideas, not cousin and his FI, you will most likely have the best decor at your wedding. It’s probably mean to say, but if that happened to me, I would probably be doing what I can to really outshine them. (Ugg…There I said it.)
It’s good that you don’t want to get in the middle. If anything is said, it should probably be from your FI. But what good can it do? They already have their money down. I guess if he’s hoping to just make them feel like moronic jerks…. Yeah, that would make me feel better too!
Post # 5
YIKES! I would hate to be in that position and I am sorry to hear that this happened to you.
I have to agree with Tanya here. Although the weddings will be at the same venue, I am pretty positive that the two weddings will be different. Really, that is all you can do is make the wedding your own. I know naturally I would want to outshine the other wedding myself but that can cause all types of craziness.
My suggestion: Kick ass with your wedding decor!! It will still be a great day for you and your FI!
Post # 6
What a sucky situation! Is it too late to change your venue?? I know this is your dream venue and you picked it first, but maybe you will be able to change your venue and then rock your own wedding your own way. What would make her think that this would be ok?? So bazaar! Did you talk to her? Anyway, back to a game plan….I agree with roddybride09, you can either kick ass with your wedding decor or switch your venue. Either way, don’t let this get you down, regardless, you are getting married! Congrats!
Post # 7
What if you did lighting?
This was my reception hall without additional lighting. I have attached a picture of my location without light light and with lighting (from the day of my wedding).
Post # 8
I suggest DO NOT share any more details and dont let your fiance share any mroe details lest they copy you more
the good thing is the relatives come into town once because your weddings are a week apart
Post # 9
For starters, I would straight out ask them WHY they chose THAT date AND THAT venue. It’s the very least they can do, give you an answer. Not that it will matter cause what they’ve done is really REALLY REALLY sh!tty. Besides, it’s not like NOBODY would expect you NOT to wonder those things, ya know?
Post # 10
I would include the story of your engagement in your programs. Talk about the proposal and your excitement, and your picking the venue. Then put a blurb in there about how excited you were to hear that your FH’s cousin decided that they too were going to get married in the same venue. (Maybe something like "Only 4 short weeks later we were very excited to hear that So n So would be marrying in the SAME venue! And they moved their wedding up too, so all of our family could attend both weddings!) I think it’s both passive agressive and totally appropriate. They’re stealing your thunder, but you get the last laugh!
Post # 11
I love MightySaphire’s comment! I would so do that! And the lighting idea is amazing! I know it is evil to do but just out shine them! You have every right to!
Post # 12
I would feel the same way too. My cousin decided after we had set our date to get married two weeks before us. A month later another one of my cousin’s got proposed to and set the date a week after ours. I just wanted to scream because they both knew about my date. Anyways I hope things work out for you and don’t share anymore details with them.
MightySapphire– I love your idea and completely agree.