Post # 1
Okay, so his mom cried and cried when she found out our wedding would be in my home state and not in NC, where her whole family is from and where we currently live. FH grew up all over the U.S., so he doesn’t really feel a connection to one place or another and actually suggested that we have the wedding in my hometown because my family has less means to travel than his does, and he really feels more connected with the culture in my Midwestern hometown than in a southern town. I was of course delighted that he would suggest such an idea and eagerly jumped on board.
Well, before we decided to have the wedding in my hometown, we toyed with the idea of having the wedding in NC because it was close and convenient for us as we currently live there. We never set a place, sent out save the dates or anything; we made it clear we were undecided. His aunt threw out the idea of getting married at a cabin in NC; we thought it was pretty and told her and his mom we would think about it.
Well, a couple of days later, my FH called and told them we had decided to do it up north. His aunt FLIPPED out, claiming that we were going against FH’s roots and she would never travel all the way to the north for our wedding. She cursed him out and called him selfish; she seriously went totally nuts. She deleted and blocked us on Facebook and sent us both an email stating that she wanted nothing to do with us because we obviously cared more about my family than his. It was the weirdest thing.
FH’s mom is just as unstable. She emailed last night and claimed that unless we invite his aunt to the wedding and “make things right with her,” she and FH’s dad will not be able to be in attendance because it would tear the family apart too much. ??? FH told them that he never had a problem with the aunt; she cut US off, but they have told him that if he doesn’t make things right with her, they feel weird being in attendance.
Now FH is all panicked that they won’t come and is toying with the idea of calling this psycho aunt and apologizing. I am completely disgusted by this and told him that I feel like they shouldn’t be giving him an ultimatum and they should realize that this isn’t his fault or his problem! She cut us off, not the other way around. He told me he thinks it’s his decision how he handles his aunt, but I personally feel like it’s not just him. I don’t want someone there who is so vindictive and cruel, and while I realize they are his PARENTS and not just anyone, if they don’t care enough to be there regardless of whether the aunt is, then I think that’s unfortunate but the way it has to be.
FH’s dad even went so far as to say that sometimes you have to lie and apologize when you don’t mean it just to make things better. WTF?
UGH now FH and I are fighting because of his psycho family and I don’t even know what to do…
Post # 3
Stop fighting with him. Let him handle his family. If he wants to apologize to his aunt, then let him. Maybe you can tell his family that if they don’t want to travel to your hometown, then maybe you can have another reception there.
Post # 4
@Miss Tattoo: What gets me frustrated is that his parents actually live in Idaho right now for his dad’s job. They would have been traveling either way. And also, everyone in his family has a TON of money and has travelled all across the country and even out of the country for his cousins’ weddings. Ugh.
I agree I maybe need to stop fighting it though…
Post # 5
I’m an Aunt, and I can’t imagine even one family member who would cancel or move their wedding if I decided not to go. What kind of power does this woman have anyway? Is she the family matriarch in charge of the family fortune or something? It’s really weird to even hear about, and even MORE weird that his own parents would go along with it. I can’t even grasp the concept, in all honesty.
I wouldn’t give in to their demands just because they’re demanding! Who are they(she) to TELL you where to have your wedding?
Wedding planning is stressful enough without having to deal with the crazies. Hope you can work things out and have exactly what you want,where you want.
Post # 6
as hard as this may be, I suggest you just stay out of it and let him deal with his family. Support him and be there for him but let him handle it.
Post # 7
@ItWasntMe: Haha no family fortune to watch over! 😉 This is exactly how I feel. I don’t understand it one bit, either. I’m just going to follow the other Bees’ advice and let him handle it on his own, supporting however he deals with it. The only thing I’m adamant about is that she not come unless she apologizes on her own and actually supports us. She literally told him that we will not be happy if we get married. I don’t want someone like that there.
Post # 8
@brideatbeach: I would give her some space to calm down. It sounds like she has totally flown off the handle without thinking it through.
Has she behaved like this before?…is this some sort of drama she normally tries to pull to get her way?
No matter what..let your Fiance deal with his family.
Post # 9
She does this kind of crap all the time and continues to try to drag me into it.
She’s been trying to call me all day, and I told her to discuss it with my FH because this shouldn’t involve me. Now I’m just not picking up anymore because both he and I have told her to talk to him.
Post # 10
omg posts like this make want to hug my FH real tight. thanfully -so far at least, I don’t foresee his family going batty like this.
Post # 11
I honestly just can’t imagine how hard it must be for girls whose FHs don’t stick up for them like they should. At least I know he will always have my back, as crazy as they are.
But anyways, be glad you don’t have to deal with this crap! 🙂