- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
From the very beginning, he’s said, “This is just how it is. It’s always been this way.” I couldn’t believe it.
One of the first times we were visiting (they live in another province), I was over at the house and looking through some photo albums. She kept pointing out “adorable” photos of “Matt” … FH’s OLDER BROTHER. There would be a cute photo, and I would gush, and she would be “isn’t Matt so adorable there?” Uuhhhh….. I’m dating “Mark”?
Now we’re pulling together photos for a slideshow, and she keeps showing me photos where “Mark”s face is half covered, but it’s an “adorable” picture of Matt. And she’s even suggested a few where it was just “Matt”.
I don’t want to say anything because it’s his family, but its hurtful to me that she keeps bringing up “Matt” and ignoring “Mark”. My psych background makes me think it’s to do with the fact that “Matt” was sick growing up (so she still babies him) and that he has been single and not as ‘successful’ as “Mark” (living at home, changing jobs, breaking up with girlfriends) – but in the last year, “Matt”s bought a house, become serious with his girlfriend, and they’re expecting a baby.
And now with “Matt” moving out over the past few years, FMIL has given him their living-room furniture set, buys him groceries, comes over and does his laundry, and gave him their old car. “Mark” doesn’t get any sort of support.
Now, I wanted to elope in the first place (just our parents, siblings, us), but FMIL threw a fit, and insisted on a “real” wedding, and that they would help pay for it. Now with baby coming, and FFIL’s company is closing, the money isn’t coming like promised. And I get that, things happen, we’ll suck it up and pay for it ourselves, but I’m frustrated. I feel like FH isn’t being supported, and his brother is, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Any insights would be appreciated.