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That's so horrible! I'm so glad you were able to pay it and not get the power shut off. I hope that you and your FI can work it out, maybe set up reminders in his email or something?
Yikes!! I hate reminding the Fi to do things too! Because you think they're old enough to do things on their own, right?! I'd probably flip out at him too, even more made that he could've gotten the heat turned off and in NY!? YIKES!! Hopefully from getting an earful he won't forget next time!!
Oh My God - I would have been furious too! That is brutal!
Is it affecting your credit?
I would be soooooo pissed and I would take over paying all the bills (I do pay all the bills for me and my FI) - control freak - maybe? but at least it gets done right?
Um, I don't think you should need to remind him in his email. that's exactly the kind of thing you want to avoid. It's annoying for both of you.
Have him pay you back, if that's how you roll, and give him the account number. If you can pay online through your bank, that works well. That's what the man and I do, that way our joint account has access to all the accnt numbers we need.
Good luck!
OMG I know if I came home from work and there was no power I don't even know what I would have done. We will work it out. he knows me well enough to expect that reaction in this scenario. I blow up, I yell, I calm down, I apologize (at least partially) and it's fine. I'm thinking I need to just pick a day every month that is "bill pay reminder day" or something. But I kind of feel like his mommy right now and it's annoying. He's never irresponsible like this either which is why it was so out of nowhere. Everyone makes mistakes though. I'm glad I have the rest of the work day (and WB) to cool down before I get home.
Once, I got a disconnect notice in the mail for our satellite - - FI is "responsible" for paying that bill out of our joint account, so I asked him and he swore he had written the check, blah blah - - I opened his check book and YES, he had written the check, he just had forgotten to send it out. So he gets partial credit I guess!
@Kittyachi: I think you can get something set up with ConEd to automatically take the bill out of your account every month. you might want to look into that.
Can you set it up so it automatically comes out of his banking account? That way it always gets paid on time, no reminders needed and you know you'll have electricity!
Oh dear. Fiance's old roomate was pretty irresponsible in this way too. He paid for cable and internet and she "paid" for electric / gas. However, she managed to forget to pay for long enough that the gas was shut off (read: no hot water or heat). Apparently, even though she is a teacher, and is responsible for 30 8-year-olds on a daily basis, she is not responsible enough to open her mail!!
@hotchild - that's a good idea. I didn't think of that because it is in my name but I suppose I could put his checking account in there instead of mine. I'll look into that.
P.S. - I hate ConEd and have from the beginning when they told me my apartment "didn't exist" and then when they gave me trouble because the idiot who lived there before me never closed her account so when I went to set mine up it was this epic battle because they thought I was the same person trying to get out of paying my balance. I had to have my landlord call them and confirm that I was, in fact, a whole separate person. NIGHTMARE.
Ugh. I can sympathize. My husband is also not great about paying bills, especially not on time. He's never forgotten the electricity to the point that they threatened to shut it off but he did do it with cable at least once. So I took over all of the joint ones as soon as I moved in and now we're working towards me distributing money to his personal bills as well. He always gets them paid, but not as quickly as I could. (The fact that he bought a trailer for $18,000 almost 10 years ago and still has almost $7000 left on it kills me!) And credit is definitely affected! My score is significantly higher than his - to the point that I qualified for more house by myself than with both of us combined! That was definitely a wake up call for him. He looked like he go punched in the gut and has been much better since then. Kittyachi, maybe this will be a catalyst for your FI?
Get the bills that he pays switched into his name. Then he will get all the reminders he needs.
@Kittyachi: Oh, don't even get me started on Con-Ed. They have such a monopoly on NYC that they can do whatever they like. I'm always reminded on this picture (from the Queens blackout) when I think of them.
Ugh, attachment denied. Here's the link: http://gothamist.com/attachments/jen/2006_07_thanksconed.jpg
@caitlan - This is very out of character for him which is why I was so shocked be getting phone calls about my power being disconnected! I'm pretty sure he won't screw up again, if only out of fear :)
I hope my credit isn't messed up. I don't know that much about credit. I always pay bills on time. Does anyone who knows more about this stuff than I do know if this will affect my credit?
And this is exactly why I take care of ALL our finances. Seriously. My guy is sooo unrealiable when it comes to things like this. :oP
I'm just so used to the man being in charge of the finances and the responsible one because my dad is in finance so he always was super anal and on top of all the family finances and my mom is, um, terrible with money. It honestly never occurred to me that I might be the more responsible one in our relationship. Wake up call, much?
@Kittyachi - I am by no means an expert, (credit scores are one of the most confusing things out there!) but I don't think this one incident will affect your score. Having a bill sent to collections and still not paying it or having your credit card more than 70% full will ding it. I'd be surprised if they even report it.
Whenever I have to remind hubs about something, I always add "If you just did it the first time I asked/it was due/insert reason you would get pissed that he didn't do something/ then I wouldn't have a reason to yell!". It works most fo the time, but luckily he's pretty responsible. We each pay certain things, and most come directly out of our accounts when its due. We both automatically pay credit cards every time we get paid so we never have to worry about a late payment (will be so happy once the cards are paid off!). Once we get a house, we are going to have a joint account that pays all our together bills and separate accounts for our own money. I am working on making sure we can get everything automatically debited out so we don't ahve to worry about a late payment, and everythign else that we can't we will have bill pay setup so once the money's there you just click a button and its paid.
I empathize with your fi... I did write the post a few months ago about forgetting to pay the water bill!! M didn't even fuss, it was all me, I was so bummed that they charge a friggin' $50 fee because they were on their way to disconnect :(... and it wasn't a few months behind, it was a few days!!! Needless to say this month it was sent out on time!!
@crebre - ours was apparently a few MONTHS behind and this was the first I was hearing about it. If it was a few days I wouldn't have been as mad about it. I can't believe they would turn off your water for the bill being a few days late! At least ConEd, much as I hate them, gives you a while before they disconnect you.
Since I'm a control freak, I'll be paying all the bills so not to run into this problem. The starter marriage taught me that once a man gets married, he forgets how to take care of himself. Before marriage, my ex paid his bills with no help from me or his mommy. Fast forward a couple months into our marriage, that fool was forgetting to pay everything. So, I took over paying the bills while he just had to worry about going to work and making sure half his pay check went into the joint account.
This time, I'll be paying the bills from our joint account and Mister will get an allowance. He's cool with this, btw. I suggested half in the joint and he insisted on putting most of his pay check in that account (his words: "at least 85% of my paycheck"). So, I don't see this being a problem for me, but I know me, I would have a similar reaction and he'd get an earful for weeks.
This is also why I am in charge of all of the finances. He doesn't even check the mail. We didn't live together before we were married, and I still got all of his bills ready to go, would get him to sign them, and then I would send them out for him.
He literally told me one of the things he's was most excited about when I moved in was that he never had to open another piece of mail or write a check again. Silly man.
I'm actually really surprised to see the number of ladies here that are in charge of the finances. Girl power!
@kittyachi:ouch.... but coming from a still reforming procrastinator on the bills front (and yes the credit score has suffered greatly), I can understand how you can forget... I can guarantee that he won't forget EVER again though..
That's awful! There is no way I could trust my SO with the bills...he is SUPER forgetful & is not exactly the best with the budget!! I am definitely the one in charge of the finances in our house...I'm not even sure he knows how to log onto our bank account! He might make the most money but I'm definitely the one that makes sure it's spent correctly! :)
Ugh, same here. I'm the one who pays all our bills. Even though I HATE doing it, at least I know it will get done! And if I wasn't doing it, then I'd spend every waking moment wondering whether he'd paid this or that and then having to nag him about it...LOL
Actually it's pretty typical for women to control household finances. In the stereotypical American family, women manage bill-paying and household finances, while men tend to manage retirement (and other) investments. It's one of the reasons why women tend to do so much worse, financially, in divorces--many of them never learned to plan for the financial future instead of just managing the day-to-day. So take over the bill-paying if you have to (as long as he's paying what he agreed to, if that's the system you two have set up), but don't forget to plan for your future! :)
yikes! im sorry i have to agree with you...but what a moron!! (soory, your words--not mine! ahha) but I would never let him do the finances EVER!!!!!
Thank you for posting, Kittyachi. You just reminded me that my husband told me to pay my credit card bill on Monday, and I still haven't done it yet. :) Doh!
coned has an option where they automatically deduct the estimated amount from your checking...mmight be something to look into...good luck
I think it's not unusual at all but I don't think it's girl power :(. I think it's just another hassle having to take care of a grown man. Like you said, you aren't his mommy and that's not a dynamic you want in a relationship. Also I think it's good for any adult to be capable of paying bills. Not to say there's anything wrong in splitting household tasks like bills any way that works best for you. I just hate the idea that an otherwise adult competent man "can't" handle bills.
In his defense, my car told me (the Mini Cooper is smart) that I had a low tire and I can't do s**t when it comes to cars so he had to take it and put air in the tires for me... he's good for lots of things. I guess bills aren't on that list, at least not right now.
HAH! Kittyachi I know you're not trying to be funny but I have to admit "he deserved it for being a irresponsible f**king moron. " made me giggle a little cuz it totally sounds like something that'd come out of my mouth.
I was gonna suggest the same thing as HotChild. I have most of my big bills on an automatic payment like direct deposit from my bank account. I'm pretty sure you can attach his account even though it's in your name. It's like being billed as a 3rd party. My Mom used to pay my Nanny's bills and I'm pretty sure you can set it up that way.
And yes Con Ed sucks the big one. Also, don't be surprised when they add a nice hefty "re-activation" fee onto the bill next month.
I was just talking to him and it's confirmed - we're going to switch the account to his checking and set up auto payment this weekend.
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Seriously, how hard is it to pay bills? Our deal is that I pay rent and he pays utilities. I remind him and assume (stupidly, apparently) that he takes care of it. So I get a billion phone calls from ConEd, which I don't answer because, you know, I'm at work - because PEOPLE NEED TO HAVE INCOME TO PAY FOR ELECTRICITY. So I finally get lunch and call back the number and I'm informed that they are disconnecting my power today - the coldest effing day of the year - because I have a massively overdue account balance. So I frantically run back to the office to pay it online, call back, and have them assure me they will not be disconnecting it.
Fast forward to call to FI - he "didn't have the account number" (it is in my name since he moved in to my place) and he just forgot about it. He apparently "needs reminders" - UM? Are you f**king kidding me? And you are OLDER than me? So I was like OH REALLY? Do I need reminders to pay the rent? NO. Did your mommy and daddy call you to remind ou to pay your bills when you lived alone? WTF? What a load of crap. I flipped out to the max. And honestly I don't even care if he's mad that I yelled at him because he deserved it for being a irresponsible f**king moron.