FI and I broke up today

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m so sorry to hear that. That is tough, even if it is for the best in the longrun. I have a friend who is engaged to a man in the military and I will say that  makes things 8612876235919x more complicated. Honestly, it sounds like he wasn’t ready and that this was all for the best. Remember it’s better to go through it now than later in the planning with down payments put down or after the marriage!

Post # 4
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I honestly don’t have any advice but I am so sorry.  I think you’re right and that no matter what, you should never feel taken for granted.  As soon as you confided that to him, he should have tried his best to make you feel better because that’s not something you should feel in any relationship.

Post # 5
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@lilypad1978:  I’m so sorry to hear that! Definitely sounds like he wasn’t ready.I would find it hard being in that position, engaged with nothing set. Granted a lot of couples do that and that’s great, but I’m someone that likes to have things planned out and it sounds like you do too. I wish you the best of luck!! Hugs!!

Post # 6
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lilypad1978:  But i feel that… if you’re not ready to marry your fiance at a moment’s notice, then maybe you shouldn’t be engaged at all.

Exactly – that’s why someone is engaged – because they are ready to get married.   You don’t get engaged with hopes to be ready for marriage by the time the wedding rolls around.  You’re doing the right thing.  Maybe, after some time, he will get his act together and realize what just happened but in the mean time you take care of you!

Post # 7
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

mousepeach +1

Agreed, I think an engagement says, I will marry you tomorrow, or any day after.  It sounds like he really wasn’t ready. 

Post # 8
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lilypad1978:  awww, HUGS hun, I’m so sorry to hear that. I noticed your wedding date was set for next August, and if that is the case, you would definitely NOT be rushing any planning, contrary to what he was telling you. It sounds like the two of you were not on the same page regarding your relationship, and moving forward in your engagement. It sounds like it was a tough decision to make, but it appears to be for the best. Engagement is a period to savour and enjoy, and you deserve nothing less!

Post # 10
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hey hun, I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. Break-ups effing suck – be sure to really take care of yourself during this time. Watch funny movies, hang out with your girfriends, treat yourelf to a manicure, or whatever self-soothing activity works for you.

Post # 11
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wish u luck but think that your statement is true. Once you are engaged then you should be willing to marry tomorrow if planning a wedding isn’t a factor. If he wanted to then he would- doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to in the future but may not be ready now. He should of been ready when you got engaged.

Post # 12
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@lilypad1978:  You made the right choice. My DH is an officer in the air force and he was so appreciative of me during his deployments and the sacrifices I was willing to make to be with him. Not every woman is okay with distance, moving, etc… So if he doesn’t realize this then it’s his loss! This will either prove to him that he’s being silly or you will go on to meet a man who will move mountains to be able to spend his life with you 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

@lilypad1978:  I don’t think you’re acting crazy at all, I think you’re handling this VERY calmly and very well. Breaking up is horrible and I hope you get through it okay. PM me if you ever need to talk.

Post # 15
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2002

@lilypad1978:  I’m so sorry. 🙁  I totally agree with you.  I know your heart is aching.  My best advice is don’t live with him.  My personal feeling is men get comfortable just living together and don’t want to make a lifelong commitment, but rather continue as they are.  I hope this doesn’t sound offensive, that is certainly not my intentions.  I wouldn’t add to your sorrow for anything.  It’s just a thought I had.  I have a feeling your fiance will be calling you soon to work things out.  I will say that it took courage for you to assert your feelings.  I think you’re absolutely correct.  It’s time for him to step up to the plate or call it quits.  I wish you nothing but the BEST outcome!

You should not feel foolish!  Breakups are the absolute worst.  There’s not much worse than a broken heart, hun. 

 

Post # 16
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@lilypad1978:  It’s true, you really do sacrifice your career to put theirs first for a bit, if he can’t see that he has an awesome girl then he’s the crazy one not you! Break ups suck but wasting years on someone sucks more!!

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