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There are ways - depends on how ambitious you are.
No host bar
Ipod DJ
cut the guest list
have you asked a wedding party yet? If not, keep it small, that means less gifts to buy
skip things that don't really matter - fancy linens, fancy centerpeices, fancy invitations
drive yourself (no limos etc)
your attire: buy a used dress, or a non-designer dress, don't wear fancy shoes (no one sees them remember?)
DIY!!
I could come up with lots of things, but it depends what kind of wedding you are having. Any specific questions?
I'm sorry to hear this :(
You said you cannot afford 2500/month, but what can you afford? What is a budget that is reasonable to you?
Obviously the first thing is to cut your guest list. We're having 45 guests to our wedding. If we had a 150 person list we'd never be able to afford it!! Have you purchased anything yet, like your dress?
I went through this too (although not to the same extreme). Our original budget was about $14,000 and now it's about $7,000. We cut the guest list from 80 to 25, are getting real touch silk flowers online, have a restaurant with a private room with music so no music is needed, our ceremony is in a public park gazebo after hours (still cheaper than other places), we've talked to vendors like the photographer and the officiant about the situation and they've worked with us, etc. Could you go to a smaller town outside of Philadelphia where costs might be lower? And I agree about the wedding party. We decided now to only have my brother and his brother so we cut down on gifts and flowers.
I continue to battle with this (and our budget is far less than yours :)). I'm outside Philly. Remember that in Philly, I believe the tax is 8% sales and 10% on alcohol (!!). Once you get outside the city limits the tax is 6%. So it depends on how much you want to have a wedding in the city, how many people you are planning on inviting, and what type of wedding you're looking to have. I want a more relaxed, countryish style event, so I've been looking at venues that offer special packages for Sunday or Friday (or midday Saturday).
Downingtown Country Club has a package that includes food, centerpieces, and cake for $65 pp plus tax and gratuity. If you're open to doing brunch, that drops to $56 pp.
French Creek Country Club in Elverson, PA has a similar package and is absolutely GORGEOUS, but the wedding planner rubbed me so much the wrong way that we won't be booking there. Which is a shame, because I instantly fell in love with it, but I can't imagine dealing with her hairy eyeballs and lack of communication through the wedding process. Sharon at DCC was awesome, I just didn't like the venue as much.
I'm continuing to expand my search! I'm considering locations where you book the venue and then the caterer independently, and DIY'ing my own flowers since my one meeting with a florist left me with a bad taste in my mouth (I can't pick my own flowers as part of this package? What??).
I'd suggest doing a smaller reception. You don't have to invite EVERYONE if you can't afford it. You can pick to have a large group and a reception with appetizers & cake (no bar) or you can do a smaller group with a full meal.
What does your $30,000 wedding include? Perhaps that would help us let you know what you can save on.
our only issue so far has been finances. it's enough to stress us out to the point of wondering why we ever wanted all the hoopla to begin with. in the beginning, i cut my guest list all that i really *thought* i could....but 160 people at 55/per person really adds up.
if i started all over, i would definitely have a smaller wedding and wouldn't give in the the pressure of inviting people i don't really want to be there. i'd actually rather do it on a cruise ship! :)
honestly, don't worry about flowers, fancy invites, lavish decor....it doesn't even matter!
We had a chat last night and we realized that we won't be able to afford our wedding by the time we wanted (Fall 2011)...so since we don't really want to cut down on our guest list, we are pushing our wedding back a full year. This will give us the time to make and save the money that we will need. Although I am a little bummed about waiting, I know this is the best option for us. Don't know if that is an option for you (if you've already booked your wedding, sent STD's, etc). Good Luck!
I agree. I'd need to know what you are including in your $30,000 budget. How many guests? Maybe you could have it further away from the city.
Just to put it in perspective. (I don't live in Philly) We're having 400+ people. We are having a buffett style dinner. ($9-$12 per person depending what we choose) we are having open bar (which could be taken away if we needed to save on money) We're having fresh flowers (could also be saved on). The venue is $700 the church will end up being about $500. DJ $500. Cake $500. Photographer $1200. Flowers $2300. Catering; drinks ect. We are planning to be under $12,000. If we save on flowers or bar we could easily be under $10,000.
I'm not sure why there is such a price difference that people say in bigger cities. Not sure where the costs are differing but those will give you an idea of how much you can save by having your wedding in a smaller town or not so populated area.
If you can't afford the wedding, that is A-OK. Have what you can afford. In hindsight, spending a lot of money will be more of a thorn in your side than anything. It won't be worth it, I promise.
Vanilla, what are your options as far as changing the wedding completely? Heck, look at what you CAN afford. That's it. Lop a few grand off it (just in case you go over, you don't want to be crying about it) and change it all up. If all you can afford to do is elope, ELOPE. If you can afford a honeymoon, have a destination wedding. If you can afford a simple backyard ceremony, have that. Have a reception in a restaurant. Change your vision of "THE" wedding a little and I promise it'll all come together.
Just do WHAT you can afford.
We're waiting an extra year and just saving money too, although we definitely won't be spending $30k. My FI has offered to just drive me to Nevada and elope, but my mother would kill me, and I'd rather have a traditional ceremony and reception, anyway.
You're far enough out to make some changes and probably cut that number in half. I think it comes down to -
-drastically cut the guest list (if you had 150, bring it down to 50-75). You'll still pay the costs that don't matter how many guests you have (music, photo, your dress, etc) - but at least your catering bill won't be five figures on its own.
-or, keep your guest list but have a much simpler event without so many of the "standard bells and whistles" (like a morning/afternoon wedding with much less elaborate food and hopefully people won't go as crazy at the bar).
It's great that you really crunched the numbers far enough out that you can change course easily!
We realized this same thing within the first couple of months of being engaged. Some things we did were to push it back a year, do some DIY to cut down on cost and the big one was cut down the guest list. Hope things work out for you!!
We are in a similar situation. We are looking at 150-200 guests in Baltimore - not Philly, but pricey all the same. What we did was find a hotel package near the airport where we could have everything. Our main goal is to have everyone we want there. We want waterfront but we can't afford it. So we found a Holiday Inn at the airport that has been completely renovated and is beautiful inside at $50 PP including venue, cake, catering, and open bar w/ liquor.
I'm DIY'ing a LOT. I will be doing some type of candle centerpieces that I have budgeted only $300 for....but may drop it to $200.
I found that Ollie's bargain outlet sells invitation kits (the same ones at Micheal's - not all of them, but must be the discontinued ones) for $5.99 a pack. Could be anywhere from 20-100 a package, it just depends on what you choose. My budget for invitations is currently $200 but if I find invites at Ollie's I'll probably only spend about $30 for 120ish invites. I may DIY our STD's but I really want magnets so they will probably be more than the invites!
Also, to make the postage a bit easier to swallow, I'm going to the post office once a week to buy 1 book of stamps. This will come out of my regular spending rather than trying to budget another $130 for it. I won't even miss the money.
We are looking at online wedding flower DIY combos. We can get all of the wedding party flowers for probably $200.
Good luck! Search for non-traditional venues and look outside of the city at hotel packages. Don't be afraid to try to negotiate with the hotel either! If you don't want something in their package, tell them and then ask them to drop the price. All they can say is no!
RE: bigger cities...it just is how it is. They know they can charge those exorbitant amounts because people expect to pay a lot of weddings. :-o
My friend's wedding that I went to yesterday had almost 400 guests in a VERY nice hall and the venue rental was $500! And only $90 for linens. But it's over an hour outside of the city. In the city; that size venue??? Easily $2500 - $3000.
Main thing: Cut down your guestlist!!!
-Cut out expensive meal choices (and alcohol choices-- either cash bar, or provide beer and wine only.)
-Find a cheaper photographer (There really are deals out there if you really look for them. They may not be the most amazing pictures you've ever seen, but they'll do the job and you won't go in to debt for them.)
-Trade out more expensive flowers for less expensive substitutes (smaller centerpieces, less ceremony flowers, no stephanotis! etc. I got more expensive flowers for my bouquet and just generic white gerbera daisies for my BM bouquets-- they can have nicer bouquets at their own weddings, lol.)
-Find a cheaper cake (There really is no reason to spend a great deal of money on a wedding cake, especially when I lot of people won't eat any anyway.)
I think the main thing is do not be super picky about things that don't really matter. A lot of the expensive details that brides stress over do not even get noticed. I got a really inexpensive guestbook & pen set ($14 at party city), half DIYed my table numbers (cost me $18 for 7 tables), inexpensive stationary (invites, RSVP cards, Thank you cards and STDs all for $91, including shipping), cake topper ($30, including shipping), etc. All these things will look nice and I didn't stress out over the money I spent on them. I also stopped getting fast food, buying clothes, shoes, Starbucks, etc, and spent all my saved money on the wedding.
I also have not asked very much out of my BMs and therefore will not get them elaborate Thank You gifts. I really just want my BMs to show up in a blue dress and silver shoes on my wedding day. I spent maybe $50 on MOH/each BM, so $150 total for TY gifts. I'll probably spend the same for my parents/ FH's mom's TY gift.
This may be dishonest but you could use one of those honeyfund type registry websites where the guests "buy" you a nice dinner on your honeymoon or a nice massage, etc, but the website really just cuts you a check for that amount. If you really need to, you could some of that money towards the wedding, after the fact. Only if you and your FH are really planning on going on a honeymoon though-- you can't really have a honeyfund if you're not going anywhere.
I'm sure you'll be able to find ways to cut down your wedding costs.
The biggest thing to do is to cut the guest list. When Mr. S and I realized that we'd have trouble affording our wedding, we cut the list pretty drastically.
Good luck - a cheap wedding in Philly is tough.
Feel for you. Try some of the others bee's suggestions. We had to change from a week cruise in Hawaii to a 4 days in Key West. Since changing the location more people will be able to share our day with us :)
Have you talked to your vendors? I'm sure they will be able to help with discounts or suggest some other money saving options. Look for different locations or look into a Friday night wedding.
Keep researching & looking...you will find a way to get your wedding!
Oh, and I second what another PP said about purchasing things weekly out of personal spending money, rather than the wedding fund.
All those things that I mentioned (guestbook & pen, table numbers, stationary, cake topper, BM gifts, cake cutter & server set, etc.) I purchased out of my own spending money.
We are budget, 5,000$. I think you can have something amazing if you cut things like. like previous posters have said. Feel free to PM me if you just need to vent. My parents have offered to pay but my DF and I plan to help where we can
I am surprised so many people are saying to cut the guest list! Of course, I am still in the early stages of planning, so who knows, I may be completely wrong! But we also have a guest list of 150-200 people and a limited budget-- but all of these people we WANT to share the day with us - we both have big, Polish-Italian families and friends that we love and could not imagine cutting out. So we prioritized - we were keeping the guests, but we did not need 5 star food, so now we are looking at cheap buffet options. And possibly picnic tables. As long as there is a bar and a dance floor, we are pretty sure we will have a good time. Good luck!
@Rock Hugger: I think there are other ways to cut rather than the guest list. We had to cut about 50 people but right now they are on our B list. Well, more like we have one list of definite STD's and a list of those we didn't send STD's to but they may still get an invite.
FYI I found STD 3.5x4 magnets from totallyweddingmagnets.com for a very good price. We're paying $114 for 100 but if you buy more, the price per magnet drops.
Again, I highly suggest spending a little bit every week or every pay day on the little things from your normal budget. I can decrease my grocery budget a little bit to buy some stamps this week or my invitations at Michaels that are on sale for $20 vs $40. Just don't go overboard! :)
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...that we cannot afford our wedding.
With the whole saga of my parents trying to steal my thunder, and Momzilla with all of her crazy BS- it was SUPER empowering to tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine and we would pay for the wedding ourselves (GO US!!). The only problem with this is that we sat down the other day and really hashed out costs for our venue, caterer, etc- you know, the big expenses- all of which come to roughly over $30,000.
We simply cannot come up with an additional $2,500.00 per month to be sure that we will have this kind of money come the wedding. We are already living paycheck to paycheck.
Any bees have any advice for a smaller, less costly wedding? I live in Philadelphia where everything is expensive...