- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
FI and I are struggling over budget and choosing a venue. We just got engaged about a month ago and our wedding will not be until April 2016. But we can’t agree on how much money to save for the wedding, which also determines the venue. Once we pick a budget, we can decide on a venue.
The problem is, he says he doesn’t want to spend a penny over $5,000 on our wedding. Not including the honeymoon, of course. I don’t think that’s realistic! In our area, I think more like $7,000 to $10,000 would be a good range for our wedding.
Let me give you more details. We’re trying to keep the guest list around 120 or less. My MIL works part-time at a beautiful, local winery and has for years. She is good friends with the owners of the winery. Because of this, the owners have offered to let us get married at the winery for free! We can also have our reception there too.
The only problem? The winery is lacking in space. MIL estimated that we would have to cut down our guest list to 80 and that has to include the vendors as well. FI and I both have big families so I don’t see how that’s possible!
But FI is fixated on the fact that it’s free and he keeps pushing the idea. I like the winery and I do think it’s very pretty but I’m worried about the lack of space! I also think there are some logistical issues. (They are minor, but still.)
MIL also has some connections to friends in the wedding industry. She knows a really good caterer that would likely give us a discount on the food. She also knows a hair and makeup artist that would give us a discount. We could even get an Episcopalian priest to co-officiate the ceremony for free because he is a close family friend. (We’re having a joint Baptist and Episcopalian ceremony so we’d still have to pay for a Baptist minister to co-officiate but that’s not a big deal to me).
Due to all this, FI thinks that we can have a nice wedding and reception at the winery for $5,000 or less.
I would be okay with this IF the winery could accomodate more people! I have suggested to FI that we check out other venues. But he refuses to look at venues that he thinks are too expensive. Like even if they offer a package of $10,000, he thinks that’s too much.
He keeps saying “Free! The winery is free!” And I like the idea of saving money, I do. But I also want to get married at a place that I LOVE. Not just “like”. And I don’t want to have to sacrifice people on our guest list just to have a free venue.
I sometimes wonder if I’m being ridiculous. Should I give up a free venue just to have a bigger space that I love? The reason FI is wanting to spend so (relatively) little on our wedding is because he really wants us to buy a house after we’re married. And I want that too. But I also want to be happy with our wedding!
I am already stressed about this and we have a long way to go until April 2016.