FI And I Don't Have Any Friends…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

FI and I were just talking about this yesterday! It is just us and our cats! I wouldn’t call the people we hang out with once in a while friends anymore. While I love hanging out with FI, it’s sad sometimes.  I’d love to go out in a group or have s dinner party but that’s not in the cards for us. So, I feel you!

Post # 3
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think so. My FI and I have some ppl we talk to and label as friends but not that we’re hanging out with routinely or consistently, usually it’s just us or with family, now and then with other ppl. I also would enjoy the dinner party or group thing, but guess not in our cards either! If only was a way for those of us without groups to then have our own dinner party lol

Post # 4
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

petalpetal:  My FI and I met as strangers too (and had ZERO mutual friends at the beggining of our relationship) however we both still have a lot of friends from our childhood who are now couples/married and both his and my friends have become ‘our’ friends.

I definitely get that it would be hard to have maintained friendships in both your situations.. would you consider joining any social groups? does it concern you? My favourite person to hang out with is my FI but I do also love spending time with friends. I guess for me its important that we both have that other outlet, but if it doesn’t bother either of you, I wouldn’t worry too much!

Post # 5
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

We have two other couples that we consider friends. We only see them about twice a month though. Most of our co-workers are great (we work at the same place), but we just don’t hang out with them that often.<br /><br />

We have two dogs and we spend a lot of time together. I love hanging out with other people and in groups, and DH is a little more reserved, but does like to go out every now and then. We have our own hobbies we pursue (he does baseball, I do crafts/art stuff), but just haven’t found too many friends through it. 

I think it can be hard making friends as adults, especially couple friends. It’s not like college anymore where there are lots of people your age looking for friendships. I think it has become especially hard for us because a few of our recently good friends have got married/had children, which changed up the dynamics.

Post # 6
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Only one mutual friend (one if his best friends). It’s not ideal, but, we get on so great. He calls himself our 3rd Wheel! We might be putting it to the test though,  the three muskateers are heading to Japan for a week, wonder if we’ll all be talking afterwards. I hope so!

Post # 7
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

petalpetal:  Just us and our dogs!  We have a couple people that we enjoy to hang around with but they live in other towns or are extremely busy and schedules don’t match, nothing wrong with that unless you’re a social butterfly and need that interaction with others.

Post # 8
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think its pretty normal.  Making friends as an adult couple seems to be a challenge for many.  But hey, think of the savings from the small wedding guest list!  😉

Post # 9
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We have a lot of friends, but I think we are a little abnormal.  We are in AA so we have a HUGE group of friends.

Post # 10
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I do feel this is totally normal.  My fiance and I talk about this all the time.  Its mainly just my FI and I and we are getting a dog so there will be the 3 of us.  I suggest for women to use meetup.com because its not a dating site, its just a site to meet with people to hang out with.

 

Post # 11
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband and I each lost touch with our childhood friends as well. The only people he still keeps in contact with sometimes are his buddies from when he was in the military, and even then the contact is sporadic–random e-mail or FB message here and there.

Post # 12
Member
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My new husband and I are the same.  We definitely have people that we both call friends,  but neither of us really hang out with anyone.  I see my sister the most & that’s just because I nanny twice a week for her & my 4 month old nephew. My new husband works at least 10 hours/day…The past week he’s been working 15 hour days. I would love to meet some good wholesome friends.  I’ve left all of mine behind for various reasons.  My best friend of 14 years just ended before my wedding.  I realized how extremely selfish she was & is. It’s just so difficult to meet & develope friendships anymore. 

Post # 13
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

 

petalpetal:  Omg..I read this and said to myself.. “Sounds just like FI and I!” Its usually just us and our 2 dogs. I think as we get older (Im 28 and FI is 33) we just dont have time to hang out with friends that much. We work to much and have a house and dogs to take care of in our free time. Occasionally we’ll plan a vaca with friends and family, but thats it. Dont feel bad, its more common than you think.

Post # 14
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

Thats how FI and I are mostly. We have a few friends but we don’t have friends that we always hang out with like most couples do. I have my bff but shes single and lives 45 minutes away. My other best friend is engaged but there about 2 hours away. Chris’ best friend comes over sometimes, hes became like my brother but thats it. We have one couple that we hang out with a every once in a blue moon but they fight alot and like to get high way too much. We have other friends but we never see them hardly at all. Don’t feel bad though. I thought we were the only ones!

Post # 15
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are the same way. We both lost our friends from our previous marriages and with kids, work and crazy schedules, its hard to find time to make a social life. Bit the kids are starting to get involved on extra-curricular activities, so I think we will start meeting (and hopefully hanging out) with more couples. 

I am shy and a bit of a loner, he is more outgoing and talkative,  so I rely on him to approach people and start conversations 

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