- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
FI and I rarely argue about anything, except for me there is one thing. Im a cuddler, FI is not .
The only time he cuddles is when he knows he is about to get some sex, at night we dont spoon. I sleep on my side of the bed, he sleeps on his side of the bed.
Also FI is military and gets up really early in the morning, and he doesnt like to have his sleep interrupted. I get it, he goes to bed early and gets up at 4 am in the morning and needs his rest. So I dont have a problem with it. I on the other hand am not a sound sleeper. I roam, for lack of a better term, the house at night if Im restless and I dont stay in the bed when he is trying to sleep because I dont want to disturb his rest.
So this morning neither one of us had to get up early. I guess I would like for him to not get out of bed for 5 minutes and just cuddle me. Not a big deal Right???
So he gets up and lets the dogs out and they come back in but he doesnt come back to bed. I go to the living room and he is cuddled with the dogs. He said they were cold and needed to get warm. I got really ticked off and said well maybe I need to go outside and get cold so you will come cuddle me.
I regretted it the moment I said it, however he said well I dont get this double standard you have. I was like what double standard. FI says do I say anything when you leave the bed at night? I said honey I leave the bed so that I dont disturb you so you can get some rest. All I would like is a few minutes of cuddling. He said well it bothers me. Okay honey I will stay in the bed and hope that my heartburn, nightmares dont bother you.
I suffer post traumatic stress disorder from being in the army and from being abused in my previous marriage.
I said if me getting up bothers you then you should say something. I tell you all the time I want to cuddle sometimes. He says its a double standard and that since he isnt complaining I shouldnt be complaining either.
Instead of resolving the issue I left to go to work. Now we arent speaking to each other. I know its a stupid argument. I just feel like he doesnt get that occassionally I want to cuddle that isnt leading to sex. I dont need to cuddle all the time, just once in a blue moon.
Actually we had a conversation about this last night. A friend posted this funny pic on fb of people who dont spoon and they are at opposite sides of the bed and upside down. He was like look honey it looks like us. I said yeah Im getting used to it…sarcastically of course.
So there is my vent.