FI and my parents dont get along – anyone else have this too?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not in the same boat, but I was with my ex. He did a lot wrong though than just not holding a job. Why does he have such an issue? To parents (and even for a lot of people) it says a lot about a person.

Maybe some other Bee’s can relate.

Post # 4
1040 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t get along with my FI’s mom, and one of his older brothers. It makes everything awkward. There’s really no getting around it… I’ll deal them during family functions if I have to, but I don’t go out of my way to start conversations. We live 3,000 miles away so, it’s easy to avoid them. But when we go home for the holidays, I just bite my tongue, and try to spend more time with my family instead of his. 

My FI has just accepted that his brother, his mom and me are just not going to get along. (I do, however, get along with his OTHER brother… but I dunno if that’s just because he’s being fake or not).

But the good news is, MY FAMILY, absolutely ADORES my FI. They have gone above and beyond to show their support and love toward him. Being around my family, has really helped my FI see how insensitive and cold his mother and brother are; so he doesn’t feel like he’s in the middle at all. He feels bad that they’re such assh*les toward me, and wishes they were more like my family.

Post # 5
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@DeeWee:  I can understand your parents’ concern, but it’s too bad they won’t get to know him as a person. Maybe they assume he is living off of you and they don’t like that? My big, fat Russian family is very important to me and I honestly don’t think I could marry a man who didn’t fit in. FI is Russian too, but I don’t think that was a sticking feature. It is great that he can speak to my grandparents in Russian, but it isn’t a prerequisite for getting along with my parents and 4 siblings.

Post # 6
44 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

Im in a similar situation, I get the impression that my mum doesn’t really like my FI, I think that she feels he isn’t good enough for me. She insinuated as such a few months in to our dating, 5 years on I think she realises it’s not something she should say to me. My family are loud and chatty with everyone. My FI is quiet and doesn’t do well in big groups, when it’s just us he is silly and funny, in groups he is awkward and clams up. My mum seems to have taken it as he isn’t interested in them as a family and now doesn’t bother with him at all really. I have watched him go out of his way to start a conversation with her and she just dismisses him really. Infuriates me.

At the end of the day I just have to hope that she realises how great he is and see’s past his quiet awkward personality 🙂 I love him and I know he is funny sweet kind thoughtful. That is all that matters, and she will see it one day…

Post # 7
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@DeeWee:  My husbands parents can’t stand my parents and its made things really hard on me.  My parents unfortunetly have been very jealous and childish and to be honest I’m really embarrassed of their behaviour.  

They will come to the events if my parents are their but they do avoid them. It would be nice if they all got along but it’s never going to happen so I’ve excepted it:(

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