Post # 1
Due to religious reasons my FI and I are going to stop having sex soon. We are getting baptized and after we are going to hold out until the wedding day. We will likely be baptized in mid February and are getting married April 20th.
So I was talking to my FI about porn during that time. I’m against it (although I know many bees are for it) and asked him to not watch it during that time frame. He says “OK but it would be nice if you gave me some videos or pictures or something”. Now I’m not COMPLETELY against that which brings me to my current delima.
For his wedding present I was going to give him some boudoir photos the night before the wedding. I don’t have a issue with giving him some photos, but I was going to wait until the night before the wedding to do so.
So what do I do? Go ahead and give him the photos, give them to him maybe on Valentines day as a v-day gift since it will be close to the day of the baptism or hold off until the wedding?
He doesn’t know I plan to do the boudoir photos, it was a surprise for him and it’s been hard keeping the secret. Now I don”t know when to give them to him. Ideas? Opinions?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
If you are getting baptized mid-February, then Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to do it!
Post # 4
I think as a wedding present (night before or day of). If you are going to abstain for religous reasons I think you want to make that as “easy” on yourselves as possible. Him haveing naked pictures of you will just make it harder.
Post # 5
@jaykayel: That’s what I was telling him. And we also discussed rotating sleeping on the couch since we live together, from the time of baptism until we actually get married.
But he has a high sex drive. I do too but I can hold off because I’m 150% serious and dedicated to this. He is serious and dedicated but he’s trailing behind a bit. He’s been getting closer to his faith too but he didn’t start until long after me so he doesn’t have months and months of guilt nagging at him.
So he says he’s likely going to… You know… A few times to whatever… I don’t talk about sexual things very well. So he wants the photos for that.
Post # 6
If you’re trying to be abstinent, I would hold off on the pictures until the night before the wedding as before kind of contradicts the point. If he needs to handle things for some reason, his imagination/memories should suffice. It’s only a little over a month!
ETA – I have no problem with pre-marital sex (I did it), but if you’re stopping for religious reasons, why put it off to February? Baptism makes your faith/religion official, but doesn’t actually change your beliefs, imo. (I’m not trying to criticize, just understand.)
Post # 8
@LadyBear: Well my FI thinks that since in biblical times all they had to do it seemed to get married was sleep together or decide you were married. So he thinks spiritually we are already married.
When we get baptized we are looking at it as basically being born again. None of our sins will follow us any more, including this premarital sex. And I want to go into our marriage clean and with Gods blessing so it’s what we’re deciding to do.
Other than that I and my FI are weak basically. We both enjoy sex and don’t necessarily want to go without but will be doing so once we are baptized.
Post # 9
@pinkgreenandyellow: I’d wait until right before the wedding night to give him the photos. It’ll just make it more difficult, especially since you already live together. Are you sure that being baptized will just erase all the “sins” (i.e. pre-martial sex you’ve had already)? I could be wrong but I guess I just don’t understand how that works…
In any case, good for you for sticking to your new beliefs.. it must be hard!!
Post # 10
@LadyBear: If you’re trying to be abstinent, I would hold off on the pictures until the night before the wedding as before kind of contradicts the point. If he needs to handle things for some reason, his imagination/memories should suffice. It’s only a little over a month!
+1. It’s a month, you can do it! Giving him the pictures early I think would only make things harder for the both of you.
Post # 11
What an awesome Valentine’s gift!! And that way you’d be all planned ahead…no rushing last minute to find a gift! I vote for Valentine’s Day!
Post # 12
I’d add, if it’s not your pictures he’s looking at it will be some stranger on the internet. The baptism and religious component is your business…having sexy pictures or w/e doesn’t negate your plan IMO.
Post # 13
I voted the night before the wedding. That’s a nice gift by the way!