- 7 years ago
So I’m posting anonymously. To be perfectly honest, I’m not a regular poster. I comment every once in awhile, and I lurk basically all the time, but you probably don’t know me. I hope that’s OK, because I really need support.
Here’s the situation: last night, my FI asked me to lose weight. Before everyone freaks out about this, I think this part is PERFECTLY FINE. I am a strong believer in staying healthy and attractive for your SO, and I WANT to know if I’m beginning to look unattractive to him. I really, really don’t want to start drama over whether or not it’s OK to ask your SO to lose weight. Please don’t focus on this part, because I’m not upset about that.
But last night? Was ten days before our wedding. And I’ve been freaking out ever since because there’s no way I’m going to lose ten pounds in the next nine days. Not even if I just don’t eat at all for the next nine days, which obviously wouldn’t be healthy.
When FI and I first got together, I was 5’5″ and 152 pounds. I lost weight quickly early on in the relationship, and for about a year I was down to somewhere between 130 and 135. But when my grandma died last September, I gained a little over ten pounds, and I haven’t been able to lose it. I’ve been hovering around 145 ever since.
I’m not happy with my body, and I’d love to be around 130 or 135 again. I am completely fine with losing weight, and I think I need to. But we’re getting married in 9 days, and I’m really upset about the fact that he felt like NOW was the time to tell me he’s unhappy with my body. I can’t change it very much before the wedding, and I want to feel beautiful on my wedding day. It’ll be pretty much the most important (and DEFINITELY most photographed) day of my life so far, and I don’t want to spend it knowing that FI would really prefer it if I were about ten pounds lighter.
I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. I know he’s still attracted to me, and I know he thinks I’m beautiful. He tells me all the time. He just thinks I look a little sexier when I’m a little thinner, and he picked a really bad time to tell me he wants me to lose weight. He doesn’t expect me to lose it before the wedding, and he’s absolutely thrilled to marry me no matter what. I’m the only one putting pressure on myself to look better before the wedding. Please don’t think he’s a bad guy for this, because he’s not. I just don’t know what to do or how to take this, because while I’m completely fine with losing these stubborn ten pounds over the next few months, I don’t know how to feel about myself in the meantime. I know it sounds awful, but I just need to be reminded that I’m NOT fat, and he’s not going to spend our wedding day wishing that I’d been able to lose the weight. He’s going to be happy to marry me, and he’s going to think I look beautiful. Right?
Please, bees, help me out. Give me a little encouragement, and make me feel better about this instead of depressed that I can’t fix it before my wedding.