- 5 years ago
I don’t know what to do about this. We have been together seven years, always long distance. When we first met and started dating, he was active – went to the gym a few times per week with a friend, had friends over his apartment, went out on weekends.
He hit a bad depression about two years in, and has slowly gotten better, although he still suffers with bad self esteem issues. He is on anti depressants and has been for A few years.
Anyway I feel like he has become a hermit. It started with the depression and has just not improved. He doesn’t go to the gym anymore, or out with friends. He spends all of his spare time alone, at home, on the computer or watching tv. His best friend did move away, but he has others that he’s just neglected. His own brother lives twenty minutes away, they’re close emotionally but he never goes to see him!
Every weekend I ask, what are your plans? He says, cleaning and relaxing. Every frisking weekend. This has been going on for a few years now and I hate it. I’m a very social person, I see my friends multiple times per week. I just don’t get it. He wasn’t like this when we first started going out. I thought friendships were important to him, apparently not.
I nag him to go out, call a friend, text, do something. He refuses and gets angry. He doesn’t even text them, maybe once a month. I’m worried about him spending all his time alone. Im worried the friends he has been neglecting for so long wont always be there. Wen we first started dating, he’d go out every weekend and have great stories and fun things going on. Now. Nothing. I’m honestly afraid once we are married and living together I’m going to get bored of him, bored of sitting inside every night. I’m afraid ill feel guilty going out when he never does. And to be honest (and yes awfully bitchy), I find him less attractive for it. I feel like he has no hobbies, no interests, no social life, just like a lump sitting on the couch every night.
I don’t know what to do, I thought maybe it was a remnant of the depression but he insists not. He is on pills and has improved soooo much, but this isolation thing seems t have no end in sight. I feel like he’s not quite the person I fell in love with – that person had hobbies and passions and loved his friends and loved going out. i had fun with him and fun listening to his stories and meeting his friends. Its just not like that anymore and I’m nervous I won’t be happy living with him. But I love him so much, just hate this one part of him. Help!!!