FI being SUPER unhelpful!!

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ugh men, booooooo! I kid of course. Not really.

Anyway. I think it’s a case of completely different perspectives here. I think just try to calmy state that it’s important to your stress levels that he give you his invite list in say, 2 days. And explain that commonly people invited to stag parties are also invited to wedding, so it might get awkward if he doesn’t want them at the wedding. I have found through the planning process that my partner just has completely different opinions on most things. I have learned to calmy explain how I feel, and how strongly I feel, and he’s generally all “oh ok”.

Oh and also I get your worried type thoughts as during our engagement any time we don’t see eye to eye on something I start thinking “oh my gosh! What are we doing!? Who is he? Why am I marrying someone who doesn’t agree with me on every insignificant little detail!?” Lolz.

Post # 4
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

He might be feeling frustrated because on one hand you are asking him for a list of who he wants to invite to the wedding and on the other hand are dictating who that can be.

Friendship means different things to different people. Just because he doesn’t have the kind of friendships that you do does not mean that they mean less or are not real friendships.

I would apologise for trying to dictate who he can invite and let him know that you need the invite list by x date. Gove him a few days to mull over his list once you have lifted the invite demands.

Post # 6
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ha, yes I do that too. It’s the whole “it will be like this for the rest of my life!” thing. Now I think about it I also very much agree with what j_jaye said. I have found male friendships to be very different to female relationships. Especially the ones that to me appear more casual. Hidden depths I tells ya.

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