- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
So I love that my Fiance is helpful guy and that he wants to make sure his mom his happy but I think he is starting to be taken advantage of.
When Fiance sees his mom in trouble he is the first to help. She needed to clean out their house because his sister was moving in with them, so he rented a dumpster for $200 and took a day off work to help her get everything done, sister was nowhere in sight. Then his sister just up and left a few months later. So he took his mom out to nice dinner to make her feel better. Then he cleaned out the entire garage so she could fit her car into it. Then her computer broke, he found out a friend had used laptop that he was selling, Fiance bought it for $80 which is a really good price because it was in really good condition. Well later that week she didn’t feel like cooking and he was going to be home to late to cook so he bought her dinner again. Then she started talking about painting his sister’s room which was this ugly purple color, she asked her daughter to buy the paint, since she was the one who had to paint the room purple. Sister said she couldn’t afford for a couple months, well Fiance still felt bad so he spent $75 on paint. So far this is all ok with me, it’s his money and his mom is having hard time right now. There are a lot of other little things but those are just the big stuff. But I still felt kind of sucky because he was spending all this money on her and had cancelled 3 date nights with me because of all the money he was spending on his mom. I mentioned that I was feeling a little neglected but still praised on the fact the fact that he was always there for his mom. Well he got the picture and took me out and bought me a movie I’ve been wanting for a while.
Now is where I get pissed. Him, his mom, and his sister are on phone bill together and sister is charge of paying for it. Well she couldn’t afford it this month and didn’t tell anyone so their phones got shut off. This wouldn’t be terrible but Fiance works on call so he needs a phone. Well his mom ended up paying the minimum amount to get the phones turned on, Fiance would have paid for it but he had to buy a couple parts for his car. Well he mentioned to his mom that since sister is obviously having money trouble and is being a bitch they should get their own plan, mom doesn’t want to leave sister hanging so Fiance says that maybe he should just get his own plan, so his phone doesn’t get shut off anymore. Well then his mom goes off on him saying that he should be helping with the bill and just goes on and on about how he should be helping pay it. It’s like she has completely forgotten everything else he has done for in the last month alone not to mention how much he does on regular basis, like help with groceries, clean, cook, and pay their water bill.
I just feel like he is going to be nice and will end up paying for all of their phones now instead of just his, like he wants to. He is supposed to be saving for our future, that’s why we still live at home, and adding 3 phones to his monthly expenses instead of just one is really going to take away how much he is able to put away each month.
I just don’t know how to come to him with my concerns without looking selfish, I want him to help his mom but I don’t want it to take over his paychecks because then we will never be able to get out on our own.
Sorry for the long vent, I just don’t know if he will ever be able to stop pulling out his wallet every time his mom needs help. She has two other kids who could be helping but don’t, why does it have to be all his responsibility?
Wow sorry this got so long, thanks if you made it through!!!