Post # 1
I haven’t been on here in a long time, mainly because I have put my wedding planning on the back burner for now. At first, I was really busy with school but half way through my most recent semester, my fiance lost his job. This was mid-february. His boss at the job he got fired from is highly unethical and fired my FI because he didn’t want to pay him his commissions. He is now involved in a lawsuit with his former employer and still looking for a job. The business my FI is in is a niche business and job opportunities are hard to come by. My dad (who is also in the same business) set him up with a job interview at a highly reputable company with a dream job. He would have gotten a company car, paid cell phone and internet, and a huge book of business. We found out yesterday that my FI didn’t get the job after about 2-3 months of interviewing. The reason being that my FI told the interviewers that he was still currently working at his last job, even though he was fired. They found out he was fired and told him that that was the main reason for him not getting the job. He said he didn’t want to tell them he was terminated because it looks bad and that they could start asking if he was involved in a lawsuit, which he isn’t supposed to be talking about. I am just SO frustrated right now. One, because I told him a thousand times to be honest during the interviews and two, because now I feel like I can’t plan the wedding with him having no job opportunies. At least during the past few months we have been hopeful that he was going to get this job. I seriously just can’t believe he lied in SUCH an important job interview. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it. I have so many mixed emotions and now he is talking about going into another field altogether meaning he would be starting from ground 1. A little background, I am 23 about to graduate in the fall and my FI is 30. We have been together for a little over 2 years and engaged for a little over 6 months. I am looking for stability especially since we are getting married and right now I am not feeling that. I love my FI more than anything but right now I am just so upset with him. He is extremely upset too. I am trying to give him positive support but it’s hard because I just want to cry. And I feel like if he knows how upset I am it will just make him even more upset. I am not dependent on him for money but I would like for the both of us start saving for the wedding/ future and its impossible to do right now.
I guess I am just looking for some words of encouragement or advice. I am trying to just distance myself from the situation and let him figure it out on his own because it stresses me out when I try to help him. At this point, I feel hopless that he is going to find a good job anytime in the near future. 🙁
Post # 2
The main reason he got fired was for lying. Sorry if that part was confusing!
Post # 3
I will not be harsh on you or your FI because you both realize that honesty is the reason he didn’t get the job. And, you know that honesty and an explanation of the situation would’ve gotten him further than the lie did. Sadly, even if he called the interviewer to tell him why he lied, the fact that he lied is still thereband the trust level is broken and irrepairable.
It is always difficult to be stress-free when someone is unemployed. I was in your shoes (with the unemployed FI) but eventually he found a job which led to a promotion and bigger/better things. Just encourage him to keep looking, be calm with him, and most importantly do not hold this over his head. When he goes on his next interview, remind him to be honest about the last job and explain the circumstances rather than lie about it. More than likely, the person who interviewed him for the last job would’ve been understanding about the situation and, if this is such a niche business, you can bet that the guy interviewing him probably already knew about the last situation and the lawsuit as people in niche industries usually know others and information like that travels through the grapevine. <br /><br />Patience is key and encourage him to find a job, even if it’s not what he wants, and to keep looking. You can always quit one job in favor of another. God knows my man is constantly job searching for bigger and better! Good luck to you, hon!
Post # 4
Your FI needs to apply to jobs that aren’t his dream job and maybe aren’t even in his field. It sucks, but it’s life. If jobs in his business are hard to come by, then he needs to expand his horizons and be okay with doing something that’s not ideal or doesn’t pay as much if that’s what he has to do to make ends meet.
I think you have to accept that you may have a long-ish engagement until your FI gets back on his feet. Focus on paying the bills and support your FI as much as you can. I’m sure he learned a valuable lesson from this unfortunate situation, and it will still sting to bring it up so I guess just be supportive and kind and put wedding stuff on the back burner.
Post # 5
Anony4326: I might be missing something but if your FI got fired for lying (per your clarifying comment) and then lied in an interview process, then he might be seen as a liar because he’s been lying.
He might need to start over, from the ground up. I’m sorry. It sucks. As a hiring manager, I’d be skeptical because usually it’s not a candidate’s first rodeo and he’s acting as if he’s fresh out of uni. Is he able to volunteer and build a portfolio that shows consistently good judgement and truthfulness?
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Wow, this really sucks. I don’t blame you for feeling upset and you shouldn’t blame yourself either. It’s a natural reaction to something like this. I’m mad he lied too! What a stupid decision. The logic doesn’t even make sense because if he listed the job on his resume at all, you have to assume they’re going to call the former boss. Generally when you’re fired, you don’t list that job on your resume at all. Hopefully, he learned his lesson and won’t make the same mistake again. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.