(Closed) fi deploys tomorrow….

posted 8 years ago in Military
Post # 3
1254 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry your Fiance is leaving. I am not a military fiance but I live very close to the USMC base in Southern California, so military families are very common here. I appreciate the work your Fiance does for the country and especially the strength and courage you and his family muster while he is away. I am sending you and him lots of love and positive thoughts. πŸ™‚

As for you, time to stay busy with the wedding planning. I know it seems early being 9 months away, but you can complete many DIY projects, design your invitations, think up centerpieces, book vendors etc. All of those take a lot of time and research which is sure to keep you busy. Good luck!!!

Post # 4
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i feel for you! i am half way through a deployment myself – my fiance has been gone almost 4 months. besides wedding planning, i have found that just writing things on the calendar to keep myself & weekends busy has really helped. new movie? grab some friends & go! local farmers market? get up early on a sunday and browse the produce! have friends come visit for the weekend or make plans to visit a local park or museum that’s been on your to-do list for awhile. also, get creative and make care packages to send your sweetie. i know it’s no replacement for them, but it’s really helped me stay busy & focused. you can do it!!

Post # 5
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

First and foremost, thank you to you and your fiance for the sacrafices you make for the safety and freedom of all of us.   Tell him we’ll all be thinking of him and supporting him while he is deployed.

My husband isn’t military but we were separated quite a bit through our relationship because of the nature of his previous job.  So, I know how hard it can be.  One of the things I did was I started volunteering.  Once a week I’m a rocker in the NICU at a local hospital.  It gives me something to do, helps out others, and has given me an opportunity to meet new people (something really important when you are in a new city).  Just try to look for activities that you will enjoy that will keep you busy.  Good luck!

Post # 6
2 posts
  • Wedding: December 2010

My fiance just came home at the beginning of the month.  It was so hard to have him gone, but it was amazing to have him home.  It’s hard to stay focused during deployment.  I certainly wasn’t.  I forgot tons of things and started keeping a notepad with me all the time.  That being said, whenever I felt terrible, I would call a friend or think about picking him up from the airport.  Envisioning the end of the tunnel really helped me.  You can do it and I’m proud of *both* of you each day!

Post # 7
923 posts
Busy bee

I’m in the same boat. My SO deployed last september, 2 weeks after we got married, and he won’t be home for a while yet. We had a civil ceremony in Jamaica just the 2 of us thinking that we wanted something special to remember during the deployment, but honestly for me…nothing makes it better!! This is my first deployment his second, but I don’t know how they could get any easier. I havn’t had much to keep me busy either. I even moved back to our home town so I would have friends and family around me during this trying time, but unfortunatly ppl have kindof let me down. It’s been so tough, but honestly I’m getting through it. And you will too. Every deployment is different, and most ppl couldn’t do what we do. It takes a strong woman to go through this and be the rock that our soldiers need, and I know you’ll go through this with your head held high and come out on the other end stronger then ever. I’m not going to sit here and tell you how to stay busy or what to do with your time, because I’m sure you can figure that out. I just want to say that you’re not alone, and be kind to yourself right now. Pamper yourself the next few days especially. You can do this, and yes…everything will be ok.  

Post # 8
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Uggg….deployments are so sucky.  I hated them when I was dealing with one and I hate them now that my friends are having to deal with them.  Just try anything and everything to find something to keep you busy.  Get a new hobby, schedule a workout class at the gym…just find something that will keep you distracted as you are trying to adjust to him being deployed.  While the deployments are never ever easy, you do learn to adjust to them. 

Post # 10
177 posts
Blushing bee

I just wanted to say Thank you to your FI! Also, do you think his buddies have girls they’re leaving behind you could talk to/hang out with? It might be nice to have someone who can really understand.

I also think volunteering is a really good idea. I haven’t had my SO deployed but I know when I got really involved with volunteering last spring, it totally took over my life in a good way. I volunteered at the Boys & Girls Club. They can ALWAYS use adults. I’m sure plenty of organizations will be happy to fill your empty schedule if you just email them or call them. πŸ™‚

Best of luck to you both! I work for a Defense contractor so I’m doing everything I can to keep your boy safe!


Post # 11
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@floridabeachbride:  How are you doing?  My Fiance is deployed now too, and I agree with everyone–keep busy!!

Post # 12
28 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

i know how you feel

my Fiance is in the navy and out at see at the moment

and he and i will only have a week for the wedding

before he has to go again sucks

but always remember its worth it if you two love each other

i view it this way maybe it will help you

every day that goes by is one date closer to seeing each other again

Post # 13
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like you’re on the right track with your upcoming busy schedule, that defintely makes deployments go by faster, as I’m sure you already know since you’re not new to this game…how long were his last deployments and how long is he deployed for this time? Try to keep as possitive as possible, also when you are in contact with your Fiance try to keep it light, this helps the person who is deployed, too. Just think about your future wedding and all the good things married life will bring. πŸ™‚ I know it’s hard. Stay connected with military wives/gf’s/Fi’s and chat with them, it helps to have someone who’s been through it before, I have found that civillian SO’s just don’t quite get it. Hoping yur Fiance cvomes home safe and sound and time passes swiftly for you both.

Post # 14
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I just got done reading I Love a Man in Uniform by Lily Burana. I do not have a man in uniform in my life but I really enjoyed the book and it gave me such an understanding of how different living the life of an Army wife can be. “The Suck” as she calls the war takes on so many aspects of your life. It’s a really honest depiction of how she dealt with her first few years of marriage married to a soldier. I couldn’t put it down. I honestly cannot say I know how you feel but damn girl I commiserate. ((Hugs)) Were here to listen and there seem to be quite a few other bees in your same place these last few days.

Post # 15
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oops, sorry for my typo’s. :/

Post # 16
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Deployments become easier as time goes on. My husband is usually deployed 70-80 percent of the year. I look forward to seeing him again and have learned to enjoy being alone. Since you couldn’t enroll in school due to financial issues this may be a wonderful chance to find a second job (I sometimes pick up a serving job on the weekends to fill time) when my husband is deployed) πŸ™‚ Plus, if he’s deployed overseas there is the tax break on his pay.

   As for the sister’s wedding- if you really don’t want to go, make up a good excuse! (I usually use work, school, can’t find a sitter for the cats… we live 800 miles away though!)

  You’ll be okay- The days before they leave is always the worst part.

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