Post # 1
For some reason I am obsessed with what song I am going to walk down the aisle to and our first dance. This weekend I told FI about a song – All My Life by K-Ci and JoJo. He said it was a good song. Then I had to go and open my big mouth and tell him that I have always liked that song and wanted it in my wedding. Argh, he now doesn’t want anything to do with it because he thinks I have pictured weddings with my exes and this song was included.
Should I fight for this song or let it go?
Post # 3
@emviamama: I guess if I was your FI I’d probably feel a little weird that you had songs planned out for a wedding before we even met. Maybe this is where he’s coming from?
Post # 4
@housebee: That is exactly it. I have been in 3 longs relationships since I graduated in ’97. After a year or so you think you might get married, well I didn’t, not to any of them. this song was not picked to go with a specific person, just to be played at my wedding. Not sure why I had to open my big mouth 🙁
Post # 5
@emviamama: Well maybe some other bees can relate and give you some better advice/solutions. I never even thought of weddings until well after I met my husband. For me, it would be weird to plan/think of a wedding when I didn’t even have a groom in mind, but then again I never wanted to get married.
Post # 6
@emviamama: Do you want him to be upset about the song as you’re walking down the aisle? Now he knows and he said it makes him uncomfortable. Is it worth having him feel that way on his wedding day?
Post # 7
@emviamama: I’m probably going to get blasted here, but I think he’s being kind of a baby. This isnt your first rodeo, and he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that this isnt the first time in your life you’ve daydreamed about something related to your wedding. It’s the SONG you like for your wedding, not some memory attached to guys you used to be with. Apples and oranges, here.
If he had said “I just dont like that song”, I’d tell you to compromise. It’s his rationale I find so ridiculous.
Post # 8
@emviamama: I don’t really see why your FH should have to tolerate a song he doesn’t feel is right because you like it. There are millions of songs out there and I’m sure you guys can find better ones for you walking down the aise and the first dance. I’m sure you’ll get a chance to play it later on at the reception.
Post # 9
I think it’s odd how you refer to is as “your song” and “my wedding.” I think you need to choose your battles, and a mediocre r&b song from the 90s shouldn’t be one of them.
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
You want your FI to look back at your wedding day with fond memories, not with being uncomfortable.
Post # 11
@badabing88: Agreed! I don’t think you should push the issue because it’s probably not worth the argument, but his rationale is stupid. You had lives before each other. If he planned a romantic getaway for you two that he had wanted to do (but didn’t do) in a previous relationship, it would be ridiulous for you to get upset about it. The focus isn’t on other people, it’s on the feelings related to the song. So what if you were in love before? You’re sticking with this one and that song is now only for him. Again, not saying you should push it with him, but I think it’s valid to explain why he’s being ridiculous.
Post # 12
@emviamama: His reasoning honestly shouldn’t matter. If you have always liked the song and imagined yourself walking down to it.
However, my personal opinion is that there are better songs to walk down the aisle to, so this may be worth putting aside and just picking something else, but not for the ridiculous reason your FI pitched.
Post # 13
IMHO (which is it very humble) that song stinks anyway!
Well, ok, when I say it “stinks” I mean that it totally reminds me of oh… 1997. It’s dated and kinda corny.
I would want something a little more timless at my wedding. Frank Sinatra and classical music will never go out of style,
But again, my humble opinion, but I side with your FI—though for different reasons.
Post # 14
@MrsTVLover: +1 THIS
I do kinda know where your coming from …..I too have been in serious relationships and engaged actually before DH….. I had some wedding planning done for the previous relationship and after that went belly up, and I met DH….and our story unfolded, it was really different to try to start planning again given I already had somewhat pplanned “what I wanted”…so it was just kind of “wrong” to use the same old thing and I needed to find new ideas and new songs for US!
I agree there are a lot of other battles to be won (maybe just have the song as a special dance in the middle of the reception where the dj announces “the bride would like a dance with the groom and all the other lovers out there”…… I know that for my DH music was actually oddly important to him and I wanted the music that I walked down the aisle to and our first dance to be special to both of us and make him emotional.(not roll his eyes)
I say that because he actually picked a song to dance with his mother that I thought was really …. not appropriate lol… the lyrics sounded like something that should be said to ME HIS NEW WIFE rather then a mother…. he refused to change it and when it came time for them to dance I literally rolled my eyes and walked off to go get a drink lol. It kind of burned me that he just didnt care what I thought because he liked it and that even though all my BM agreed and told him it was not a good choice…he still did it. Even when I see pics of their dance, those feelings I had come back and I roll my eyes lol….. trust me you dont want that to be a feeling for him on your wedding day towards one of your moments together.
Post # 15
It’s his wedding too!!! I had ALWAYS dreamed of walking down the aisle to a certain song and having my first dance to another song. Both songs, my fiance just doesn’t care for – no other reason, he just doesn’t like them. Guess what, they will not be anywhere near OUR wedding.
Post # 16
I would let it go and pick a song that will trigger memories for HIM…ones of his beautiful bride walking down the aisle… 🙂