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FI doesn't like our honeymoon registry

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    Ngolden1    August 22, 2010   Albany, NY

    My MOH got me excited about doing a honeymoon registry.  FI and I bought a house a year ago, and there's not a ton of stuff we really want.  We also just don't really care about upgrading stuff we do have right now.  I thought a honeymoon registry would be perfect, since it's money we will be spending anyway and would be truly helpful to us. I also thought it seemed fun for guests.  So I spent like two hours last night creating one on travelersjoy.com.  I was really excited with how it came out, our picture on there and the fun captions I used next to the activities we want.  I proudly presented it to the FI, and after scrolling through he was like, "I don't know about this."  He feels like it's a "weird way to ask for cash."  And if he was a guest he wouldn't do it, he would just give cash.  He also doesn't like that they take 7.5% and feels that's a lot.  I feel that it is fun, and that we're not getting this in lieu of cash as much as we're getting this in lieu of gifts, for those people who want to buy gifts.

     

    So now I don't know what to do.  Perhaps I will leave it and then only give it out, and a much smaller registry at Bed, Bath and Beyond, to people who ask.  Or I could just forget the whole thing.  But I am having a bridal shower and I don't know that we could register for enough stuff, and I don't want to just get stuff I don't want and will have to figure out where to store.  What do you think? Are honymoon registries just a "weird way to ask for cash"?  What would you do? Thank you!!!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    heather25       New York

    Isn't 7.5 a large surcharge?  Maybe you can find a lower one and he will be happier.  And if it makes him feel better, I think a small BB&B registry would be nice.  Plus it will save you from getting second hand picture frames and ugly vases from people who refuse to give you cash.

    Another idea is register at places like Walmart or Best Buy for electronics and gift cards. 

    Oh and honeymoon registries are just a way to ask for cash.  Weird?  It depends on your social circle.  I would never give to one because most do take some surcharge.  I'd rather have all the money go to the couple, but I am in the know about the charges.  Some people will think its cute and have no hesitations.

     
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    Busy bee
    3M    June 5, 2010   Mt. Morris

    I personally love the idea.  We used honeyfund.com and i dont remember the %rate but it wasnt very much.  

    I think alot of people like the idea, its something different than the traditional registries.

    I say give it a whirl.

     
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    Helper bee
    Ngolden1    August 22, 2010   Albany, NY

    Yes, 7.5% is sort of average.  The only one I kow is less is Honeyfund.com.  However,  I read that the money doesn't actually go into account.  People still have to pay you in person. So I thought that might be more complicated, but maybe not.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    Honeymoon registries are kind of controversial, so if you do it then I think you both have to want one. If he's not feeling good about it then I think you have to drop it. 7.5% might be average, but it's still a big cut. I wouldn't want to give away that much of my gifts.

     
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    Busy bee
    Vonnegurl    June 12, 2010  

    I know how it goes when you spend a bunch of time on something only for a FI to come in and say in a couple seconds "I don't like it." Not the world's best feeling. I do feel like 7.5% is a large cut, and that's why I didn't do a honeymoon registry for myself. Maybe some of the other bees have a good way to do it for less? What about the Google registry that's been mentioned before on the blog here? Do what feels right to the 2 of you, in any case.

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I'm not sure what you want from people for your bridal shower.  Usually people bring gifts to those and it's expected for you to be opening the gifts.  We already had a house before we got married and only needed a few fill-in things so we didn't have any showers at all.  We also had our families say that we would prefer cash since we were moving and people understood that.

     
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    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    I think I'm with MissAsB. When you have a bridal shower, it's not that common for people to not bring a gift and only contribute to a honeymoon registry. Don't get me wrong, I think people do it if there's nothing else, but I personally wouldn't contribute to a honeymoon registry. It's just not my thing, and I'd rather my gift be something that is used more often.

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    we had a small registry, and most of the gifts were bought by the wedding (for engagement party and shower) so most people just gave us money, or gift cards. that was our sly way of asking for money, by not really giving them a choice. maybe you could try something like that.

     
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    Helper bee
    Ngolden1    August 22, 2010   Albany, NY

    MissAsB - I know, I don't know what I expect either. The bridal shower idea just sort of came into existence as the FI's side started offering various things, asking when it was and it just seemed sort of expected. It's only going to be about 20 people, so I think we can set up a registry big enough for the guests. In hindsight, I sort of wish I said I didnt' want one though.

     
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    Arachna       nyc

    A possible solution to the bridal shower is making a theme one, so everyone brings a book, or a bottle of wine, or a recipe, none of that costs much and won't clutter up  your house.

    I think not having a registry will mean most people get you cash.  :)  When people ask about the registry say that you don't need anything for the household but are looking forward to your honeymoon *wink wink nudge nudge*.  And that way you don't have to give anyone a cut.  Word of mouth is a wonderful thing and there's nothing wrong with prefering cash.

     
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    mellebelle    December 7, 2010   Oregon

    we love it. ours is with http://www.depositagift.com. actually ours is partially for the honeymoon and partially for other stuff...we need a couch! and we wanted some newlywed activities stuff. i agree about the shower part, which is one reason we chose this site b/c they offer a gift certificate at checkout that the giver can print and bring to be opened.

     
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    Helper bee
    futuremominlaw      

    My son and FDIL are using Honeyfund.com which does not take a cut unless the buyer uses PayPal.  We are planning a "Travel" theme bridal shower so guests can purchase things off their honeymoon registry as well as items that would be appropriate to take on a honeymoon.  They registered at Target for a few things for the people who insist on buying something more traditional, but we are encouraging the honeymoon registry whenever questions are asked.

     
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    ms.pascua    June 25, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    I have to say that, while FI & I aren't doing a honeymoon registry, as a wedding guest I LOVE THEM! FI & I love to experience new things (we seek out new restaurants rather than just going always to ones we've been to, when we travel to a place we've been to before, we try to do things that are new & haven't done before, etc.)...and we love hearing about friends & family trying something new.  So, whenever possible, we tend to buy gifts that are experiences (like tickets or GCs to new restaurants) rather than things (like silverware or decor).  As wedding guests, we'd probably immediately purchase off a honeymoon fund rather than a traditional one.

    Perhaps the way we went might be a compromise: Amazon Universal Registry.  Create a registry at Amazon.com...it could include all the stuff you would register for at BB&B, then add the "Add to Registry" button.  This button allows you to go to any site &, if you see something you want, you can click on this button & it will be added to your Amazon.com Registry.  There is NO fee...when a guest clicks on the item that's from another site, Amazon.com first opens a window that asks the guest to "reserve" the item (to avoid duplicate gifts) then opens the site where the item originally came from.  NO FEE...the guest just proceeds to buy the item you wanted off another site!  And it works for tickets & activities...case in point, we put tickets to the play "The Lieutenant of Inishmore" & Paris Museum Passes on our registry.  It will simply take our guests to the purchasing site & we'll (hopefully) get gifted these new experiences, with little to no inconvenience to our guests!  Hope that helps!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    we are doing a honeymoon registry with Disney. everybody i have talked with love the idea. this is the first time i heard about honeymoon registry and Disney is the first one i look for information. we are really pleased with the registry.

    that been said. i think that a subcharge of 7.5% is a lot of money. our registry dont charge us anything. have you look into other websites?? i had heard of people using a travel agent to do a registry, the travel agent do the website. 

     
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    Helper bee
    Ngolden1    August 22, 2010   Albany, NY

    Thanks everyone! We did end up doing a honeymoon registry - he felt better about it and even his mom thought it was a great idea.  We went through honey fund. Even though their lay out isnt as nice as traveler's joy (unless you pay for the premium)...they don't take a surcharge! So that was nice. Hope it works out!

     

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