Post # 1
Ok this one really irks me. I showed my FI the bridesmaid dress we were going to be getting for the girls before we ordered them. Now that we got them and he sees them on my girls he says he doesnt like them at all! Seriously?! He has had hardly any say in our wedding so far. Not for lack of asking, just for lack of him not caring. And i even asked if he liked them and he said he did. So idk what changed but now he’s like oh can we change them? Everyone loves them but him. I love these dresses and have no intention of changing them. Any idea how i can get him on board?
Heres my dresses btw in this color
Post # 3
Why doesn’t he like them?
Post # 4
@zonabee: i have no idea. says they dont look good on anyone which they look fine. doesnt like the lace which he knew that was there before we even got them. so yeh i have no idea what the problem is.
Post # 5
Maybe he’s worried about something else and is transferring it to this? My FI does that sometimes.
What specifically doesn’t he like about them? Did you remind him that he liked them before?
I would just say “Well…you liked them before, and I ordered them. Now it’s too late to order something else.” Maybe even offer to change them if he’s willing to pay for them. That will reveal how much he really cares. 😉
If he’s already wishy-washy, maybe he’ll wishy right back to liking them in time, too.
My FI has cared very little, and if he did this 1) I would assume he was just speaking offhandedly and didn’t really care that much and I would just ignore him, or 2) I would just say “too bad” and just ignore him. They’re ordered, it’s done.
Post # 6
@jbbs1222: Hmmm… I was about to say to tell him it’s too late, but then I checked your date, and there IS time to send them back and pick something else. So, you can’t really tell him it’s too late, he’ll just tell you 10 months is plenty of time.
What are he and his groomsmen wearing? And did he care about that?
Post # 7
You know him best, but is this really something he’s going to dwell on, to the point of disliking your wedding photos for the rest of your lives? Or is he just like, “those are ugly, not what I had in mind, but oh well!” If it’s the latter, I think he’ll soon forget about it and it’s best not to worry – I don’t think it’s essential that he LOVE the bridesmaid dresses. So many other aspects of the wedding are far more important.
Post # 8
@2BeeMrsE: +1! Nicely put!
Post # 9
Eh….I think this is one aspect of the wedding the groom shouldn’t get much say in. He’s not wearing the dress, and the girls aren’t going to be standing by him. I think it’s much more important for your girls to feel comfortable and beautiful.
Post # 10
I don’t even know why this is something he has a say in something like this. It’s YOUR girls and he already said yes before they were ordered. Why does he even care? He doesn’t need to dance with the girls or be with them all night (I can understand him caring what dress YOU’RE wearing). I would just tell him they’re already ordered, too bad so sad. Don’t like it? Don’t wear it!
Also – that dress is gorgeous.
Post # 11
Oh straight men & fashion… That sounds like something my husband would do. We chose our first dance song – For once in my life. He like the Michael Buble version. I asked a good friend to sing it and they already worked it out with the band and everything. Then he heard the Stevie Wonder version & said it gives him anxiety and he hates it & we can’t do that song. Too late!!! We ended up working out a fun arrangement, did the song and he loved it! I’m sure your fiance will get over the dress thing too.
Post # 12
@Westwood: I agree – you should consult him to make sure he doesn’t hate them, but you did that!
And I’m always advocating not telling the groom what he and his party will be wearing, but for him to pick his own clothes (you know… like a man). Same goes the other way!
Post # 13
What matters most is that the people wearing them like them IMO. Obviously your and his opinions matter too since you’ll be looking at the pictures (and I don’t think your opinion matters more than his) but if the maids like them, keep them unless he literally HATES AND DESPISES them. They’re the ones who have to pay and wear them.
Post # 14
@jbbs1222: I think the dresses are gorgeous!!! And so wish I had found them for my ladies!
Not sure how to get your FI on board. But if you tell him what it will cost to get different BMs dresses, that might sway him.
Post # 15
@jbbs1222: If they weren’t gorgeous I might have a different opinion on them but those dresses are seriously beautiful, I want to pick one up for, I dunno, the black tie event I might go to some day. It could happen…
The only thing I can think of is if one of your BMs is his sister or something and expressed to him that she felt horrible in the dress he might try to change it without outing her for it. Otherwise I don’t see anything hateable about those dresses. And there are some seriously hateable bridesmaid dresses out there.
Post # 16
That dresses are fantastic and classy. My husband fancies himself to be keen on fashion. Respect his opinion and graciously ignore it. I had to. He had an opportunity. Focus should be on you not on the other girls standing next to you. You did great. Don’t hesitate.