FI doesn't understand why I want a RHR!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, I get where he’s coming from, but at the end of the day it’s your birthday money, so spend it on whatever you want! He can spend his birthday money on whatever he wants!

Post # 3
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

Without the intention of sounding sexist, but guys… They don’t get it. My Fi gets quite embarrassed about my engagement ring, and it has taken three weeks (until today) before I felt like he wouldn’t squirm off the island from being told: “Sweetie, you might not want to hear this.. but… (He, goes “yeeah?” in a rather nervous voice) I really, really love me engagement ring..” He went silent, then laughed and said “Oh, that’s alright, kitten.” Then he immediately changed topic. <br />I would think it’s alright for you to wish for what you want on your birthday. I mean, sure, he might feel nervous about paying for a massively expencive ring, but I assume you are not asking for the stars. Tell him this ring is what you wish for, and that you will be just as happy for your wedding set even with a beautiful ring on your right hand. The wedding set is another type of jewelry, it stands for your unity, whereas the right hand ring is something special for you.

Post # 4
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I tell DH all the time I have ten fingers and one is decorated so nicely. It simply isn’t fair to the other nine and we MUST be fair.

Post # 5
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

That’s like saying “you already have a pair of shoes, why do you need more?”  BECAUSE I DO.

Post # 6
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree men really don’t get it, for example my DH has said more than once he doesn’t understand why I like such n such piece of jewelry or why do I want that piece for my birthday/christmas. He has gotten me enough nice jewelry. That isn’t the point, I like and switch out pieces of jewelry and like pretty things. 

Post # 7
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

Treejewel19:  See, you know it girl! It’s a perfectly reasonable argument, why would any man contest this??!!

Post # 8
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

I get that RHR is some kind of ring, but what exactly does it mean? I’m a simpleton when it comes to expensive things, I don’t get it. I never want to buy a brand new car! It doesn’t make sense to me! My fiancee bought my ring off craigslist, thought it wasn’t an engagment/wedding ring before. I am a less is more so I don’t really see myself wanting more rings or much jewelry. My fiancee had to convince me to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy decent bras, I just didn’t understand spending that kind of money. Anyway, I was just curious what RHR stands for I have seen it on here several times. My feeling is, you should do what you want for your birthday with your bday money. I think bdays should be the one day we all get to keep for ourselves even as adults. That’s just me though.

Post # 9
Member
1499 posts
Bumble bee

frywedding2015:  I don’t think it has to stand for anything…

If you want a ring for your right hand, then buy one! Simple as that.

Post # 10
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think the issues lies in all these extra unneccesary terms eg “RHR.” Would he better understand you using your biirthday montey to get a “regular” ring, or necklace, or a pair of earrings?

Post # 11
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

frywedding2015:  The term Right Hand Ring (RHR) is just that…a ring you wear on your right hand. The term allows others to know you are referencing a ring(s) that are not part of your wedding set (traditionally left hand rings)! Also, jewelry stores love to market RHR to those who may not have an engagement ring/not married. They don’t have to be expensive or sparkly

Post # 12
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

linnylou_88:  ugh! It cut most of my previous post! I also added to you: Happy early birthday wishes! 

Post # 13
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You all fell right into the Diamond Industry’s trap!  According to this article from the NY Times:(http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/04/magazine/04CONSUMED.html)

This notion may be traced back, approximately, to September (2003). That’s when the Diamond Information Center began a huge marketing campaign aimed at articulating the meaning of right-hand rings — and thus a rationale for buying them. ”Your left hand says ‘we,”’ the campaign declares. ”Your right hand says ‘me.”’ The positioning is brilliant: the wearer may be married or unmarried and may buy the ring herself or request it as a gift. And while it can take years for a new jewelry concept to work itself thoroughly into the mainstream, the right-hand ring already has momentum.

So, yeah …. that fabulous marketing machine found a new way to sell more diamonds to single women who wouldn’t buy themselves a diamond otherwise.  And it gave women an excuse and permission to buy diamonds.

My thoughts?  If you want a piece of jewelry, buy it because you want it and not because some jewelry company has named it “right hand ring” and given you “permission” to indulge.  And don’t give it a special name.  It’s a ring.  <br /><br />(FTR I have a ring that I wear on my right hand but I just call it a ring.)

Post # 14
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Ellicott:  Interesting marketing strategy, I saw a similar campaign along these lines a couple of years ago. The ladies in my family were well ahead of this. Most of the jewellery that gets passed down (from my Great-Grandma onwards) is what I like to think of as “I wanted it, I bought it” jewellery. It’s probably not a coincidence that I bought a vintage solitaire ring along these lines at 21 (that’s the age you get large gifts/money in our family). I like sparkly vintage things and there was no way I was going to wait around for some guy to read my mind and buy one for me, f@#% that.

Post # 15
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

linnylou_88:  Is the birthday money coming from your fiance?  Or is it from family members?  If it’s a gift for you, why does it matter what you do with it?

 

Ellicott:  Nice post.

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