- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
@napabridekelsey: Wow, this sounds EXACTLY like our dilemma. I'm very close with my dad so we are definitely doing the father-daughter dance. He just doesn't want it and has agreed to field any concerns his mom may have about the arrangement; I agree it seems sad, but I think we just have to respect their wishes and allow our FHs to handle their crazy mamas. ;)
If she pulls something, he won't be dancing with anyone at this point and can tackle her if he needs to! Just kidding (ahem, sort of...)
@brideatbeach: haha omg. Do we have the same FMIL? He literally said he'll 'remove her from the wedding' if she pulls a stunt at the reception! We had to tell our DJ not to let her have the microphone in fear of what she'll say!
Is he going to tell her in advance they're not dancing? Or just let it be, and not say anything?
My FI doesn't want a mother/son dance either.. It's not that he isn't close with his mom, because he is.. He just doesn't want a specific song for the two of them.. He says that he'll just dance with her at some other point in the night.. I'm not sure if it'll upset his mom or not, but so far, he's been a completely untraditional person when it comes to planning our wedding, he doesn't get why things are done the way that they are and why we have to do certain things.. So I guess this one is just up to him..
Yeah, FI definitely doesn't want to dance with his mom. However it's okay for us...because I don't really want to dance with my Dad either. Why can't you just have the father-daughter dance and skip the mother-son? The mother-son is kind of new, to my knowledge, and traditionally "back in the day" it was just the father-daughter. That could be your reasoning. That you wanted to do the traditional dance or whatever but you didn't want your guests to get bored just watching people dance? I think you should probably just let him not do it. It's his day too and if that isn't something he wants...that's alright. She'll have to get over it/herself. Lol
DH didn't dance with his mom.. but I still danced with my Dad.
You don't have to do the dance.. so if he doesn't want to then just leave it at that... that in particular is his decision and like a pp said she can get over it.
My FI loves his mom, but he isn't dancing with his mother. It's not his thing and it would be kind of awkward. Your FI has good reasons for not wanting to dance with his mother, and I would respect that. Yes, there is potential for regrets later, but that is his choice.
@napabridekelsey: Nope, he's not telling her ahead of time because she THRIVES on drama, so he's just going to make sure he is able to handle her if she kicks up a fit at the reception.
And seriously, I think our FMILs would be besties. haha
This makes me feel better! Ill let FI know if she asks about the dance to just let her know he'll dance with her during the reception.
I'm glad we're not the only ones dealing with this!
P.s. I didn't know it was a new thing for the mother/son dance to happen!
@napabridekelsey: Good luck... PM me if you ever need to vent about her! I'm sure I'll be able to identify. ;)
@brideatbeach Thank You! I will definitely take you up on that before the wedding! :)
I think you need to back off. Why has he had to express for the "upteenth" time he doesn't want to dance with her. It's his decision. Not everyone (myself included) is blessed with wonderful parental relationships... And on that note everyone telling or suggesting we make up be nicer etc. to the parents makes one feel that much more haste.
This lady sounds like my dad. He had something called borderline personality disorder. It's awful to deal with cos you simply can't rationalise with the person. If it's like that, just let him have his way. It will let him be relaxed on his wedding day and save the trauma.
Hope it works out.
Yeah, hubs didn't dance with his mom either. Worked out fine for us, and I don't think she even noticed
I danced with my dad but my hubby didn't dance with his mom. In our case it was what both of them wanted.
Wow, and here I thought I was the only one. Fi's mom is a nut. She's been trying to fight with us for the past week saying we should be ashamed of ourselves and we're both liars--funny thing is neither of us have any idea as to why she's upset. Fi says is he gets one more irrational message from her, he's telling her not to come to the wedding.
It's pretty bad when my mother is better to him than his own.
There is no rule saying that there has to be a mother/son dance. If he dosent want to do it dont make him, its his wedding u know? You can still have a father/daughter dance. I have been to many weddings where only one of the two was done.
im in the same boat here.
My fmil is a friggin nut!!!
Is sounds just like your fmil @napabridekelse
plus the added drama of her talking shit behind our backs.
Fiance doesnt want to dance with her either!!
Least i know im not the only one with a crazy ass mil!
I am going to have a bride mom dance with me and my mom, and thats it. Fiance will dance with fmil during the reception if she wants to.
I was extremly worried fmil would do something to ruin the dance itself, so im glad i have one less thing to worry about since my fiance will not be dancing with the nut job!
Chin up ladies!! Crazy fmil wont bring us down!
My FI was pretty “meh” about the whole thing too. Not because his mothers a psycho or anything (she’s far from it) but he’s just not much for dancing. We know that it’s important to her (even though she says she doesn’t mind if they don’t do a dance) so we’ve decided to do a parent dance instead. FI and his mom and me and my dad will dance at the same time. A minute or so into the song the DJ will invite all parents/children onto the dance floor to dance with us. We think this will work our perfectly. We’ll still get to dance with our parents but it won’t be insanely awkward and long like most are.
Is something like this an option?
I think not having the dance is going to give her much more of a reason to start something. I think he does need to have this dance, if not people will ask and I can see it turning into a big issue. Have one song and talk to the DJ and have him shorten the song and that way you don't give her a reason to start trouble but it's only a minute or two of your FI's time.
My inlaws are not nice people and we just knew we had to get through the wedding. We informed our vendors of the issues so that they could act as a buffer during that day. I would highly recommend you tell your photographer, mine did a great job at getting the pictures they needed and keeping them away.
Back in the day, it was only a father-daughter dance. I went to a wedding where the GM were on alert to escort the MOG away if she started anything crazy.
Let it be - if he's not comfortable dancing with his mother he shouldn't have to.
My guy will be dancing with his mother but I won't be dancing with my dad - his mom is a sentimental mush that will love dancing with her boy and my dad is shy and would freak out being in the spotlight like that. Everyone's situation is different and no one should feel that they "have" to.
@vmec: he's only had to tell me that many times because he has been not-too-sure about deciding that he didn't want to dance with her (he was just going to suck it up) but decided last night that it was a for sure 'no.'
@organizedbride11: totally. I can see why he doesn't want to dance with her...he was just avoiding drama. But at this point...he wants to have something that he wants at the wedding ;)
@UpstateCait: well that's what we were going to do in the first place, but like your FI, he's just not really into dancing either. He just has really expressed that dancing with his mom is not what he wants to do...so I tried :)
@roxy821: he won't dance with her...It's pretty much where he's irritated now :/
FI refuses to dance with his mom and I think she'll be devastated. They are very close and her world pretty much revolves around him. She did a mother/son dance with her stepson a few years ago so I'm sure she will expect one with FI. FI does not like to dance and hates being center of attention though. He would gladly skip our 1st dance if I gave him the option. As much as I think he's being a selfish jerk I am staying out of it. It's between him and his mom. I may skip dancing with my stepdad since we're not super close.
@7-9-11bride: yeah, I think I'm just going to let it go and stay out of it. I'm sure in the end she'll talk him into it...but we'll see!
I say have your father/daughter dance, but don't push him to dance with his mom. DH didn't dance with his mom at our wedding and I had a father/daughter dance, no one said or though anything off about it. As PP's have said, it's his day too, let him have this as he wants, besides do you really want your first argument/disagreement as husband and wife be over him dancing with his mom?
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ticatica | 13 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 12 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 10 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| Scottish_lassie | 7 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| MrsMSmith | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
| miss_blondie86 | 1 |
| Dizbee | 1 |
 happyface |
1 |
| KellyLouise | 1 |
| louiseW | 1 |
So...we were talking about the dances for the wedding, and FI expressed for the umpteenth time that he does NOT want to dance with his mom at the wedding.
I was thinking to take the edge off, that my dad and I would dance and he and his mom would join in halfway through the song.
Here's the backstory...
FI and his mom are not exactly BFF. She is an irrational loon who started menopause 10 years ago and never came out of it. She used to be really loving and sweet, but has turned into an alcoholic/weed smoker/and is borderline bipolar. FI has lost all respect for her. It's really sad.
She can turn on you in an instant, for no reason. You could literally look at her the wrong way, and she'll start screaming.
He just doesn't want her to try and pull something stupid during such a special time with my dad and I, and he doesn't want to have to dance with her for a full song.
I'm afraid she'll be really hurt by him not wanting to dance with him, and still pull some sort of stunt anyways.
Anyone else with a FI that doesn't want to dance with his mom?