Post # 1
We were discussing our wedding (still picking a date) and I mentioned the traditional sunday brunch for OOT guests, immediate family and bridal party (if they want to attend). FI said Not happening. I was baffled as to why he wouldnt want to have a goodbye brunch before our honeymoon. I believe its a fun/nice way to wrap up the weekend and thank everyone for coming. He said, thats what the reception is for and we will be exhausted the next day. He also said if someone wanted to host a brunch, they are welcome to, but we wont be attending. I told him thats fine, but I have to say goodbye to my parents before we leave for the honeymoon. Am I crazy? Should I convince him to attend? Or once it gets brought up, just politely decline and say that our honeymoon has already been booked for Sunday.
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re crazy, but I kind of can see his side as well. My FI is the same way and even though I disagred at first, I began to see his side. The reception is the time for seeing everyone, saying goodbye before the honeymoon, and just having a great time all together! To me, I think the day after and however long your honeymoon should belong to you and FI only.
I think it’s just a really personal time that should be spent between the two of you. However, it’s totally up to you how you want to run things.
Post # 4
I don’t see it as necessary unless you are having a DW. If you’re not I wouldn’t worry about it. You don’t need a whole meal to say goodbye to your parents, and traditionally I believe everyone says goodbye to the bride and groom at the end of the reception
Post # 5
I don’t understand why you would need to say goodbye to your parents the day after the wedding.
Post # 6
I’m with him.. I know I will be exhausted the day after and I will just want to relax! Now granted, we are leaving for our honeymoon at 6am so it’s a non-issue for us, but if we had the opportunity for a brunch I wouldn’t do it. I want to enjoy the whole being married/just the two of us thing for a few days 🙂 Your family should totally understand, you will have the whole reception/after the reception to say your goodbyes. Just my opinion!
Post # 7
Forgot to add that I will be going to (my new home) in Atlanta after the honeymoon, we are getting married in New Orleans (hometown).
I totally get not saying goodbye to my parents, although we are very close…and now that I think about it, Id rather be relaxing in a bridal suite or honeymoon suite the morning after the wedding and take a car service to the airport and get the show on the road with the honeymoon. Worry about getting up and dressed and presentable just to have to talk more to people and thank them (thats what thank you notes are for), doesnt sound fun!
Post # 8
I think it’s hard to know if you are going to want to have breakfast a year and a half from now. Maybe just let it go for awhile? Or ask him when he is hungry!
Post # 9
I’m with your FI! DH wanted to have everyone over for a cookout the day after, I didn’t….DH won out. We didn’t do a brunch, but we did do a BBQ (at our house no less!!).
We, along with my parents, paid for the wedding. ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner. None of us seemed interested in paying for or hosting a brunch. However, the day after the wedding we had a cookout at our house for our immediate families (parents & siblings), my BFF and her family, and a few out of town family members and friends.
While it was nice to see everyone, and get to actually TALK and visit with them, it was definitely stressful doing it the day after the wedding. I had a friend and her DH fly in from really far away, and I hardly got to see them at the wedding. I loved getting the chance to have them over to hang out. All that being said, by the time it was over I was SO ready to not see anyone.
Post # 10
@nolapeanut: I’m not doing it. Going to Rome the day after the wedding and people will understand that. If they are from OOT they can hang out with the rest of your family. I don’t think it’s unreasoanable.
Post # 11
I get his point of view. You’ll be exhausted and I’d rather sleep in and relax than haul myself out of bed again the next day.
Post # 12
I’m on your side–in my family, it’s traditional to have a day after brunch: most of our family are spread out really far and wide, and so it’s seen as really rude not to have a brunch the next day. if my husband didn’t want to have one, it would have been really frustrating for me–it’s a tradition in my family, and i’d feel like it was really disrespectful of him to blow it off without trying to understand why it was important. I understand of course that this isn’t the case for all families–it’s not like i’m offended if there isn’t a brunch at every out of town wedding I attend. but being totally honest, my cousin didn’t attend a brunch the next day after her wedding, and a lot of my relatives really really resented her for it. needless to say, we did have one, and my in-laws actually hosted it because their family had the same tradition–we lucked out on agreeing about this!
Post # 13
In my family we all do day after brunches (but not gift openings). I think they are really nice and intimate. For my sister’s, my mom hosted it at her house and for mine we had it at the hotel where everyone was staying.
I don’t see what the big deal is about seeing your guests and thanking them one more time. It’s part of being a good host, and when you get married you learn you will have to do a lot of things you don’t necessarily want to.
Post # 14
I would much rather stay in bed and order room service. I’m with him, you two definitely do not need to host or attend.
Post # 15
We do after morning brunches. My Fi is not a morning person and I doubt he will be attending lol. We put ours for as late as possible it’s at a room where the majorit yof our guest are staying, it’s going to be from 11:30-2pm and is buffet that will be refilled. I am hoping he drags his but out of bed and make an appearance for at least the last hour or so.
Let your Fi stay in bed and go down to brunch make your rounds. That way everyone wins he gets to sleep in, and you say goodbye to anyone you want.
Post # 16
@PacificMrs: I feel the same way.