(Closed) FI doesnt want to have a brunch or atleast attend after our wedding

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Hostess
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think you’re crazy, but I kind of can see his side as well. My FI is the same way and even though I disagred at first, I began to see his side. The reception is the time for seeing everyone, saying goodbye before the honeymoon, and just having a great time all together! To me, I think the day after and however long your honeymoon should belong to you and FI only. 

I think it’s just a really personal time that should be spent between the two of you. However, it’s totally up to you how you want to run things. 

Post # 4
Member
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I don’t see it as necessary unless you are having a DW. If you’re not I wouldn’t worry about it. You don’t need a whole meal to say goodbye to your parents, and traditionally I believe everyone says goodbye to the bride and groom at the end of the reception

Post # 5
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t understand why you would need to say goodbye to your parents the day after the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m with him.. I know I will be exhausted the day after and I will just want to relax! Now granted, we are leaving for our honeymoon at 6am so it’s a non-issue for us, but if we had the opportunity for a brunch I wouldn’t do it. I want to enjoy the whole being married/just the two of us thing for a few days 🙂 Your family should totally understand, you will have the whole reception/after the reception to say your goodbyes. Just my opinion!

Post # 8
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it’s hard to know if you are going to want to have breakfast a year and a half from now. Maybe just let it go for awhile? Or ask him when he is hungry!

Post # 9
Member
6472 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m with your FI! DH wanted to have everyone over for a cookout the day after, I didn’t….DH won out. We didn’t do a brunch, but we did do a BBQ (at our house no less!!).

We, along with my parents, paid for the wedding. ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner. None of us seemed interested in paying for or hosting a brunch. However, the day after the wedding we had a cookout at our house for our immediate families (parents & siblings), my BFF and her family, and a few out of town family members and friends. 

While it was nice to see everyone, and get to actually TALK and visit with them, it was definitely stressful doing it the day after the wedding. I had a friend and her DH fly in from really far away, and I hardly got to see them at the wedding. I loved getting the chance to have them over to hang out. All that being said, by the time it was over I was SO ready to not see anyone.

Post # 10
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@nolapeanut:  I’m not doing it. Going to Rome the day after the wedding and people will understand that. If they are from OOT they can hang out with the rest of your family. I don’t think it’s unreasoanable. 

Post # 11
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I get his point of view. You’ll be exhausted and I’d rather sleep in and relax than haul myself out of bed again the next day. 

Post # 12
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m on your side–in my family, it’s traditional to have a day after brunch: most of our family are spread out really far and wide, and so it’s seen as really rude not to have a brunch the next day. if my husband didn’t want to have one, it would have been really frustrating for me–it’s a tradition in my family, and i’d feel like it was really disrespectful of him to blow it off without trying to understand why it was important. I understand of course that this isn’t the case for all families–it’s not like i’m offended if there isn’t a brunch at every out of town wedding I attend. but being totally honest, my cousin didn’t attend a brunch the next day after her wedding, and a lot of my relatives really really resented her for it. needless to say, we did have one, and my in-laws actually hosted it because their family had the same tradition–we lucked out on agreeing about this!

Post # 13
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In my family we all do day after brunches (but not gift openings).  I think they are really nice and intimate.  For my sister’s, my mom hosted it at her house and for mine we had it at the hotel where everyone was staying.  

I don’t see what the big deal is about seeing your guests and thanking them one more time.  It’s part of being a good host, and when you get married you learn you will have to do a lot of things you don’t necessarily want to. 

Post # 14
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would much rather stay in bed and order room service. I’m with him, you two definitely do not need to host or attend.

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We do after morning brunches. My Fi is not a morning person and I doubt he will be attending lol. We put ours for as late as possible it’s at a room where the majorit yof our guest are staying, it’s going to be from 11:30-2pm and is buffet that will be refilled. I am hoping he drags his but out of bed and make an appearance for at least the last hour or so.

Let your Fi stay in bed and go down to brunch make your rounds. That way everyone wins he gets to sleep in, and you say goodbye to anyone you want.

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