FI estranged (sort of) from his parents

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

amandajane4949:  my man also has a bad relationship with both parents, unfortunately his mom needs him to give her money every week, so there is still some sort of relationship there….but i think you are doing well to support him in whatever he wants to do, if it goes well with his sister then I think maybe reaching out to his parents may not be a bad effort…At least you can say you have tried, and if they don’t respond then hopefully he won’t be too hurt..[especially since you said he barely talks to them anyway] 

Have you guys talked about it much about whether or not to?

<3

Post # 4
Member
5685 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think it’s wise to chalk up a potential Decline by your FIL’s to their discomfort over showing a passport to get onto the cruise ship; while the fact that they are not here legally is a very big problem, that’s also kind of a moot point when it comes to how you and your fi handle any potential Decline, because it doesn’t help him move towards accepting that his parents are who they are. It sugar coats things and leaves a little wiggle room where he could still be hoping for a more reciprocal relationship with them.  I think ultimately the decision to invite them or not is your fi’s to make, and your place is to support him in whatever he decides, but I think it also has to be done knowing that, if they decline, then he needs to accept that and move forward, not blame it on any potential risk of CBP finding them.

Post # 5
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

amandajane4949:  Your welcome lil lady, just keep doing what your doing! And good idea on both your parts to keep open those 4 guest spots. So it won’t really hurt him too much if they do decide not to come, cause I’m sure he will be busy entertaining you 😉

Hugs!* 

Post # 6
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Backyard

I honestly feel for you. My FI hasn’t seen or talked to his parents in over two years, but that was because of the way they acted towards me and punished him for sticking up for me. The best thing for you to do is support him. To me, there is no need to make excuses for them or sugar coat whether or not they decide to come. You cannot control what other people do. When my FI gets upset, I just remind him how amazing he is to me. How he is perfect to me in every way and how much love and support he deserves. I tell him that the love that people give out is a reflection of the love that they think they deserve, and their lack of love doesn’t make him any less worthy. I know it’s hard, but he’s very lucky to have someone like you watching over him.

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