Post # 1
I don’t really drink, not for any paticular reason except I don’t really like it. A fair number of people on my side of the family doesn’t drink either (some of it for religous reasons some are recovering alcoholics). My Fiance side of the family on the other hand love to drink (alot and I mean alot!). His side of the family has asked for an open bar, my side of the family has ask that we not do an open bar but to hand out 4 drink tickets to all the guest (and then the two bottles of wine on the tables) which I think is more then enough and anyone who wants more they will have to pay for the drinks over and above that. I feel that this was a fair compromise but my Fiance family doesn’t. They keep saying that they are flying accross country for this weddding and they think it is unfair of us to ask them to pay from drinks. It is not like they are the only ones flying here since half my family is flying the same distance as them. So now they have decided since they are going to have to buy some drinks they want us to pre-purchase extra tickets just for my Fiance side of the family. My Fiance and I are fighting over this regularly and I am just getting worn out. Neither of us (or our families) are willing to budge on this. Both of our parents have offered to give us a little money to help with the expense of the wedding but for the most part my Fiance and I are footing most of the bill. I don’t even know what to do anymore, our wedding is not an excuses for my family and friends to get wasted and knowing my friends and my Fiance family if we have an open bar this will definitely the case.
Am I being too much of a control freak on the drinking, should I just give in and let them have thier open bar.
Post # 3
ugh trust me, i know how you feel. I did an open bar but only for one hour for cocktail hour and had wine, etc during dinner and i got a LOT of comments like “thanks for the 1 hour open bar”
but whatevers, I did what was best for my budget and decided to do only a one hour open bar.
Post # 4
I think you should go with the drink ticket idea. If your Future Father-In-Law wants to pay the entire bar bill, then do it his way. From what you have written, it would seem that if you don’t put some type of cap on the bar, it will get out of hand and you won’t be able to pay for it at the end of the night.
Post # 5
Can you compromise on no full open bar, but maybe beer, wine and a (if you want) signature drink available all night w/o drink tickets? That might end up actually being cheaper than everyone drinking four mixed drinks. And FI’s family could booze to their heart’s content.
Post # 6
I agree with @Amani – a limited open bar sounds like a great idea.
Post # 7
I would also be tempted to do open beer and wine in this situation.
Post # 8
If you are doing this on your own dime, it is totally your decision. Simply explain to your FI’s family that you cannot afford a full open bar. They really should understand that your priority is to celebrate your wedding and the important people in your lives…not to facilitate the kind of drunken crap that will happen when a bunch of people drink 4+ drinks AND wine.
Post # 9
I think you’re being more than generous with 4 drink tickets each and wine at dinner. I agree with other posters… they want an open bar, they can pay for it!