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@HoneyBear: Aw :(
I'm sorry. I don't have any comments, but I'm full of (((((HUGS))))))
That really sucks, not only for you, but for him as well.
is FMIL seeing someone and on meds, meaning is she actually depressed or is that what she says? and when she speaks to your FI is she toxic and is that what upsets your FI? is he fine before he speaks to her?
if he is feeling the pressure of mom and family maybe he can speak to someone professionally to help deal with the stress - maybe hes taking too much on emotionally and doesnt know how to deal with it
She has been clinically depressed for like 30 years aparently.
I didnt know this, but recently FI told me that his moms brother died when they were young and she hasn't been the same since.
Its really weird. but she...thrives (maybe wrong word....not sure) on negativity.
Anything something goes wrong, she gets excited about it. Its really strange. I have never been aroudn a person like this in my life and Im not quite sure how to handle it.
@eloping: She has been through mulitple therapy sessions and even tried shock theray sessions, but nothing has broken her out of her funk. She has her college degree, but she doesnt do anything with it.
my fmil is like this she likes to bring up the negative stuff and like totally pick it apart and i think it annoys her when i dont join in her rant of the day about how other people have unfortunate lives or how her co workers annoy her, she's a teacher and i always thought of teachers as helpful people i was totally wrong i think she's depressed but i cant bring anything helpful up without her getting defensive.
Im not just saying she has depression because she likes to dwell on the negative but she has anxiety whenever i drive she closes her eyes because she says she doesnt like when cars pass us on the freeway and she thinks im going to fast when im going the speed limit. I think its way more dangerous to go 40 mph on the freeway and have people zipping past you at 65 mph. i could go on and on i try to not play into her drama causing ways and minimize her anxiety. it takes a lot of patience but i do it for my future hubby :>
I agree with the previous poster, your FI really needs to get some professional counseling to help him learn to cope with the stress of having a mentally ill parent. If she's been this way for 30 years, he's probably got a lot of baggage built up. It's awesome that you want to be supportive, but this kind of situation is really beyond supportive spouse territory, and that is not your fault. Good luck. :/
My mother sounds a lot like your FI's mother. In my situation, there's nothing that can be done about it. DH does wonderfully with it though. He's always there to listen and give me a hug or cheer me up if needed. I honestly think that may be the best thing you can do for your FI, be there for him and support him :)
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My FI family is crazy. I dont know what else to say.
His mom is clinically depressed an every time FI talks to her, he is in bad mood for at least 2 hours.
He seems to think that his brother has the same illness that his mom has and I keep trying to tell him that we can change it, but he doesnt seem to think so. He thinks hes doomed.
I just want FI to be happy, but every time FI talks to any one of his family members he gets upset. I just dont know what to do... Please tell me I'm not alone :|