- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
We are having a problem with my FI’s dad and step mom. They have now taken it to another level by calling my FI at work yesterday and yelling at him, then ending the conversation with a, “we’re considering just buying you a gift and having you tell us when the wedding is over”. I just can’t believe his own father would do something like that! FI is really upset, which makes me so mad! Has anyone else had to deal with this? What should we do?? It has been nothing but a battle with them over this wedding, I am just about done. I really want to send his dad an email but I don’t know how well that would go over, what would you do/say?
Here’s a little back story; FI was a child from first marriage (only child) his dad remarried (twice) he now has 4 children with a woman who has taken great pride in hating me. FI is 24, his brothers and sisters are 5-12. (huge age difference, especially for a kid who grew up most of his life as an only child!)
Here are a list of their grievances and how we ‘thought’ we had handled them;
1. FI’s grandma’s invite to my shower got returned twice, and apparently never made it to her.
Ø We called her, apologized, let her know what happened and that she was invited then gave her all the info. (she didn’t come)
· FI’s family thinks we lost the invite on purpose to exclude their family.
2. I did not invite FI’s step mother’s, half-brother’s wife (whom I’ve only met once 3 years ago, in passing) or any of her sisters (they live in CA, we’re in MO. I’ve never met them either) to my shower.
Ø FI’s step mom sent me a snarky text asking who else wasn’t invited so she would not make anyone else feel bad when she asks if they’re going when they hadn’t been invited. I calmly told her that I only invited close friends and family to my shower and that if she really thought they wanted an invite I would send them one. She said no, they wouldn’t have come anyway. (am I right here? I thought the bridal shower was just close friends and family??)
· They again think we’re purposely excluding their family.
3. We wanted a kid free wedding but obviously couldn’t do that as FI has 5 little siblings. We’re trying to make it as kid free as possible though, only inviting the immediate family’s kids and out of state guests who are coming. (I moved to STL 4 years ago to be with FI. All of my family live out of state, none would be able to come if they couldn’t bring their kids).
Ø We got an RSVP for FI’s step mom’s half-brothers family, they had written in all three of their children. We plan on sending them an email letting them know nicely that kids aren’t invited. (Really we just don’t have the budget or room, and again neither one of us really know these people).
· Again they think we’re excluding their family.
4. They are upset that we are having the wedding 45 minutes outside of where they live. They think that’s too far and a waste of money for them. They’re also upset that the rehearsal dinner is out there. (We rented a ‘farm’ and all the inns for 2 nights so my family would have a place to stay, we got them rooms too). They have basically thrown it in our faces that they will have to take a day off of work and pull the kids out of school to come to the rehearsal dinner. This we didn’t handle as the venue has already been picked and paid for.
There are 12 thousand other complaints they’ve made but I’m already at a page so I’ll stop for now. Please someone tell me how to handle this. I’m about ready to call it quits with them, and so is FI. 🙁