(Closed) FI Feeling Pressured to Invite Mean Boss

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should we invite him?
    Invite Him : (9 votes)
    12 %
    Don't Invite Him : (66 votes)
    87 %
    Other (explain) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m in a similar situation. I really don’t want to invite my horrible boss (I’ll only be working for her for a year or two more anyway), but my parents think I shouldn’t “burn that bridge.” I think that one went up in flames years ago….

    Post # 4
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    @TaurianDoll: Wow he sounds like a HUGE dickhead. A few questions, are you a US citizen and will your FI be going for PR status based on marriage after you are married? If so then I would say fuck it and not invite him since he’ll be doing a change of status anyway. I work in immigration and I cannot believe his employer is holding this over his head, such a dick move! If your FI isn’t going for PR and will continue on his H1B then for the sake of keeping his job and not having his work situation get worse then I’d throw him an invite and hope he doesn’t show up!

    Also just to note if an employer prematurely terminates and H1B by law they must provide return transportation for the H1B worker so I hope your FI’s country would be a costly flight for his boss to pay for…he’s a dick.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5452 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2019

    I am tagging for the future. My boss is such a tool and the very last person I would like to see on my wedding day. I hope you get some good support. I would say don’t invite him, but it is easier said than done!

    Post # 6
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee

    @Bazinga:  +1

    I think that is totally the way to play this, if FI needs his job after the wedding then you’re going to have to deal. If he doesn’t don’t invite him.

    Are you in a place where it’s remotely acceptable to invite people just to the later reception, like after the meal? If yes, then I would look at this. If no, I would still consider it personally…

    ETA: is anyone else from your FI’s work invited?? If no, then could you spin some kinda “sorry, it’s family and a few super old close friends only”?

    Post # 10
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee

    @TaurianDoll:  hmmm, this is not easy. I personally wouldn’t invite him, but that’s because I don’t have people who make my life bad around me ever, I’m brutal with cutting people out these days. Also, that’s a lot of money for a guy who’s a d*ck.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @TaurianDoll:  Do NOT invite him. All he will do is ruin your special day. Plus then you will have to invite his live-in girlfriend.

    Just have FI explain you’ve got a large family and you’ve reach the maximum at the venue. There is no more room.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Honestly, I would just invite him. It looks gracious, and if you don’t it’s just more fuel for him to harass your FI over. Honestly, weddings are SO busy, you are unlikely to have time to talk to him anyway, so I doubt he would have a chance to pull that type of crap at the wedding. There were plenty of people at my wedding that I don’t particularly care for (family members, etc) but I just had to suck it up and bite the bullet to avoid drama. The one person I was really concerned about daying mean things on the wedding day we barely even talked to, so she didn’t even get a chance.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11 posts
    Newbee

    I would say don’t invite him, but it is easier said than done!

    Post # 15
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @TaurianDoll:  I love this sign. I’m going to make one  and give it to FI. He doesn’t realize how much each individual you add costs and wants to add 6 old friends that haven’t talked to him in years just because they ran into eachother recently. Our wedding is tiny as it is and adding 6 people increases our food/bev cost by about 15%.

    As for the boss thing, I would say that’s a big hell no to the invite! You can always say you have limited space and cannot accommodate additional guests and that close family and friends are given the seats first. 

    Also, like PPs have said, even if it does affect your FI’s employment, at least he will be PR after the wedding so you don’t have to worry 🙂

     

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