- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
So last night we got a phone call from my FMIL. My FI grandma had been found unresponsive in her house and rushed to the hospital. She had a massive stroke and fell which added to the bleeding in her brain. We did not know how bad it was until about 6am this morning. He attempted to go to his rotation, but went to the hospital to say goodbye after a little convincing and I met him there. She looked so tiny and tired. She was not responsive to pain, touch, sound, anything and it was just a matter of time. I got there about 8:35pm and sat with him. Her breathing was very labored and she was breathing very fast and it sounded like the breathing was hard. They gave her some medication and within an hour she was gone. We were there when she stopped breathing and I notified the nurse after she did not breath for a few minutes. She had a DNR with only measure of comfort to be taken so this is what she wanted.
It was the first time I had seen someone die. FI is a paramedic so this is not new to him, but he is taking it hard. I took the day off and we went home and rented movies, I got him a few beers, cookie and licorice. We spent the day just not doing much. He asked me if he was greiving properly because he was not crying. I said there was no proper way or right way and if he is doing what he needs to do then it is fine.
I don’t think there is a right or a wrong way. I just don’t know how to comfort him so I am just here for him if he needs me. Am I doing what is right?