FI has barely worked for a month & hes driving me nuts.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Ouch…this is a hard one. I mean, it isn’t his fault that he hasn’t had work, but he should be more open to helping you out around the house, at least. I don’t really know what could help fix the problem except for an honest conversation with him, but you say he that isn’t working either. I guess I’ll just say good luck, try not to off him before the sun comes back and he can get back to work. Sealed

Post # 4
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Um no, that man chikd needs to start pulling his weight. If he isn’t working at his job then he can help carry some of the weight at house or find a supplemental job to fill his time with (I do understand it isn’t that easy).

As far as sepnding money when he isn’t making nay, DH and I have our own personal accounts and a joint. We put in enough into the joint to cover the bills and save a little and then have our own personal accounts. If your DH has his own saving to spend whatever, but if he is using your money to go out or not able to cover his share of the bills-he needs to stay home. That would not fly with me.

Post # 7
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sounds like you two need to sit down and make a weekly chore chart.  You can each volunteer to do the things you don’t mind doing, and then the things you both hate doing should be divided up.  I think a lot of men SAY they don’t believe in traditional gender rolls, but then when they’re expected to do housework they don’t understand why they should do it.  I’ve found many men never did their own laundry or did the dishes as kids, so they never really learned to be responsible for these types of things.  Set aside a time to have a discussion about this and make a chart outlining the household responsibilities.  You can have an “FI is off from work” chart and an “FI is working” chart, so that you can pick up some more chores when he’s having a full work week.

Post # 8
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

@Barbiestylez:  I’d definitely be pissed off, too. Then you come off as a nag – which you AREN’T, just because you are trying to get him to help out here and there. Yuck!

Post # 10
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Barbiestylez:  Sorry, but your not his maid or his personal checking account. He isnt bringing in a steady salary, so IMO he needs to be picking up most the slack of the household chores. I wouldnt settle for that in the least bit.

 

ETA: You have 2 jobs, so maybe its time for him to find a second part time job at nights/weekends/ when hes not working his primary job

Post # 13
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Barbiestylez:  Maybe its time to go on strike, as petty as that it. Let him run out of clean undies and socks. Let him eat off dirty plates…. You need to stand up for yourself. I had issues of my hubs leaving his dirty laundry in places in did not belong, like the living room, the kitchen ( hed walk in the door from work, pass the laundry room, and start undressing and leave the stuff where he ended up) so i told him that if i had to pick up another item taht it was going in the trash.. he didnt listen, so i just stored everything away(to $$ to throw out) but made him think i was trashing everthing.. Needless to say, he got the point!

Post # 14
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was off work for 10 weeks after my internship, and I had to rely on FI for rent and utilities.  We get paid so little in an internship I lived paycheck to paycheck and had nothing left over so I couldn’t cover the weeks I was off.  We didn’t go out to restaurants or movies etc because we couldn’t afford it.  Now that I am working I am paying all the rent/utilities to make up for when he covered for me. 

I also did the cleaning when I was off, but now that we are both working we try a system of I am responsible for abc and he does xyz.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  I don’t think it is unreasonable to say that while he has more time off he should be covering more of the chores or that when he gets back to work will have to cover a bigger share of the bills.  But if he won’t even discuss a plan to divide everything up without storming off that is difficult to come to a compromise.

Post # 15
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Barbiestylez:  If he knows he won’t work in the winter, he should be saving money all summer that way he can still pay his share of bills and expenses. They are his responsibility to pay.

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