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My fiance and I right now have a joint account that we pay most of our bills out of and things like gas and groceries. We also each have our own separate accounts. We divided things this way because we both moved from one state to our current state and had accounts in the previous state. I was adament that we keep our separate accounts so that I didn't have to ask permission when I wanted to eat out for lunch or purchase something at Target (my weakness) and vice versa for him. It's worked to our advantage. We know what we can spend out of our joint account and what we can spend out of our individual accounts. He has $150 put into his account and I have $250 put into mine because of extra bills I pay out of that account. That money is then what we have for every 2 weeks.
As long as we keep our deal on what gets spent out of where, we have no arguments.
I dont have a budget like that since I am still in college but I know my sister and her FI each get $100 in fun money every week. $25 seems a little low if you can put $2300 in the bank.
Do either of you eat out for lunch? Go out to dinner? Do entertaining things together about once a week? Then you need to make him realize, that stuff alone will eat up $25+ a week, and then you have no more money. And if you dont' spend the $50 a week, it will roll over to the next week. I think he needs to loosen the reigns a little bit. Its not like you guys aren't saving what some people on this board make in a month!!!
I could not do $25 a week. I'm sure there are some weeks that I might spend nothing, but then others it is more. Being a girl is expensive. I don't know how you can get him to see this. But I hope you don't have to buy hair products and such out of this $25. For us all bathroom products come out of our grocery money and I buy them as we need them when I'm grocery shopping.
And if your putting away $2300 a month then $50 is pretty fair.
$25 a week? That sounds way too low!!! Just give him some examples of how $25/week is not enough. For example, if, in a given month, you go shopping one weekend, go to a concert/show another weekend, grab drinks with friends a couple of times, have a few dinners out, and get your nails done, that's pretty reasonable, right? But if you add it up, it will cost more than $100 for sure. Just take him through the costs so he realizes that his budget doesn't work.
After we got married we combined finances but do not have 'individual free spending money allowances'. We think that if our finances are combined why bother to have free secret money that you don't tell the other about. What's his is mine - he gets to know about every Target run and whatnot that I buy. There is no reason for us to hide that. Also we don't have to ask permission to do those things - we are responsible adults who can make decisions. We both know what we can and can't afford.
The thing that I personally don't know (or understand) about these individualistic accounts is - example - what if you both go out and get coffee or see a movie. Who pays? Is that your treat for him or vise vs. Or is that a joint bill? What if you need to buy shampoo or pitch in for a gift for a colleage - is that a personal bill or a necessity thus joint? Who makes these decisions? Do you ever 'pay him back' for things he bought with his allowance but want to pay with your allowance? That to me just calls for trouble and a logistic nightmare. I don't want to ever owe money to my spouce! Plus what if after a year he's saved his $25 each month and you've spend all yours. Where does that leave you? Would he put all his money back into your savings or keep it? That seems unfair. What if he invested his $ towards retirement and you didn't? You can't live separate lifestyles when you retire at 65. Basically, to me we save and spend together. We live our lives together and we'll get anywhere together. I say get rid of the allowances all together.
If you can't - what about tracking it? Testing something for 6 months then agreeing to re-evaluate. You can set limits of gifts for each other year so one of you doesn't go crazy on gifts while the other person spent all theirs on clothes or electronics. Whatever you do - do it fairly and smartly.
If your budget is done correctly, $25 is fine. That's because to actually help you as a tool, your budget should include things such as dining out, entertainment and clothes. In the end, a budget is something the two of you need to agree upon together, so it'll require some compromise on both of your parts.
@kay01: I agree. A budget needs to include more than just set bills. You need to have your fixed expenses (rent, car payment, mortgage, etc) seperated from variable expenses (food, utilities, household stuff). If most of your needs are provided for in the budget, I don't think $25 a week for mad money would be horrible.
Random question but are you funding your retirement accounts? Since you don't have a downpayment to save for, that would be a great place to put some of that extra money every month.
Wow, $25 seems really low. What are you including in that? My DH and I do $100 each a week, but we use that money for clothes, going out with friends (when not toether), hobbies, etc. If you're including that stuff in your regular budget then I guess $25 is okay... but $25 really doesn't go very far.
Well, what does that $25/week need to cover? You weren't specific. Lunch out at work? Extra clothes? Makeup? Or just nights out with friends?
We get $150/month each. But, clothing, makeup, etc is a necessity that comes out of the general budget unless it is something really not needed or extravagant. Like, if I want the $300 pair of boots instead of the $100 pair after my old ones wear out, I have to make up the difference. I want a $1200 lens for my camera? I have to save up for it out of my own account.
If you are serious about saving money, I think his budget is smarter.
@Rgeddy: *like*
I don't know what to say about this budget. I've never set a budget for myself, nor have FI and I set one for us. We are both completely resonable with what we spend, and dont worry about if the bills are paid of if we spent a little more than normal one week. I think $25 budget a week sounds rediculous. There are weeks I go without spending anything, and then weekends like this past one where I spent maybe $150-200 on items for the house. If your spending is generally controlled and you dont have to worry if the bills are going to get paid, why not just enjoy life isntead of try to live on such a tight budget for no apparent reason.
$25/week is pretty stringent. Maybe you could meet in the middle at $40?
Edit - just saw you mentioned it included gas.
Currently we have joint account for bills and combine spending. We also have our separate account for our spending and when we want to treat each other out, etc. After the wedding,we will put more money into the joint account; maybe base on a percentage or a set amount.
There are times when $25 a week is enough (I work at home and don't go out) and when it isn't enough, when I need to buy things for myself (clothes, purses, shoes, etc). If you go out for lunch everyday, $25 is definitely not enough (in my area). However overall, $25 a week is not enough for me. Even if I save $25 a week and not spend any, I still cannot save enough money to buy the purses, shoes and gifts for him.
As for keeping separate account, I need to feel that I have my separate money (even though technically it's our money). Whenever I buy him a gift, I want it's from my account instead of our account, otherwise it feels like he's paying for half of his gift and vice versa. Also, the separate account is for me to spend on things I like, purses and shoes, unless he wants to use the joint account for those.
Agreed with the other PPs wanting to know what types of things the money is supposed to pay for. Currently for myself I try to have $100 of 'fun money' a month. However, I find that it's incredibly hard because it's for a lot of miscellaneous things.
As you are talking with him about it, make sure you're clear on what types of costs are legit in your minds for that $25. Gifts? What about being invited to a housewarming party? What about a double date? What about a haircut or spending extra gas to go visit a friend? What if you guys decide you really need something extra for the kitchen? And if there's a charity event you want to participate in at work? There's so many gray areas and other things that may not fit into a normal budget.
That said, based on your budget and overall income it seems like $25 is rather low if savings is his concern. You should be smart together, but realistic as well. Perhaps when you show him all of these possibilities he will get a better picture. My FI thinks things ALWAYS cost less than they really do.
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Hi,
My FI and I worked on developing a budget this past week. He's a super saver and I on the other hand spend. I am not carlesss with money and pay with cash so I dont have credit card bills piled up and keep a relatively modest savings. Once we move in together, are married and combine finances our income will be somewhere around 5K a month. All of our bills (including groceries and gas) will average about 2500. FI had A FIT when I suggested $50 bucks a week for discretionary money for each of us He was adamant about it being $25 and couldnt fathom why someone would need $50.00 a week. I tried to explain to his rockhead self that I wont necessarily spend all of the money each week but hell some weeks depending on my needs I may be pushing it. I have been thinking of ways to help FI understand that being a woman cost more than being a man. Can anyone help on how I can convince him that 25.00 a week is entirely too stringent? The remainder of our money ($2300.00) is going into saving each month. He already owns a home so we are not saving for anything major as of yet besides a new (well it will be used) car for me and my limit is $12,000.00 so its not breaking the bank.