Post # 1
Well, not no friends, but very few friends. Granted, we still have 5 days until RSVPs are due. Last night he got all upset because he realized that most of the friends still on his list are probably not coming (we thought there were long shots) and the people we thought were most likely to come have already RSVPd that they’re not coming. He was upset and angry at his mother because he had to shorten his friend list (we both did) to accomodate his mother’s friends and family, who it turns out are probably not going to come to the wedding. I feel really terrible because I insisted we not invite more people than our space can hold and our budget can afford, but now it turns out that we might only have like a 50% accept rate, which also makes me kind of sad.
I guess it’s probably too late to invite more people, but part of me thinks if he thinks his friends would be okay with being List B friends, maybe we should invite some of them? What to do, bees?
Post # 3
Ours was a family (and close family) only wedding… at the last minute, my two beloved cousins couldn’t come because their grandmother passed away and i was really sad..my mum suggested why not invite an aunt (whom i hadn’t invited because i hate her husband) and her daughter, my cousinm who also did my hair and make-up? I was really ashamed for not having invited them before but i thought about how would they feel if i asked them to come “because there were 2 empty seats now”??? In the end i didn’t do it but managed to have a special moment with them while i was preparing for the wedding.
I e-mailed a couple of very old friends about the possibility of having them a little with me on the morning of my wedding..i was really, really ashamed of sending that e-mail but i did it anyway..and 1 did show up for a quick embrace and i cried with joy.
So i kind of had both situations and still do not feel 100% about it, though now it’s all over and it’s time for the photos and videos. I guess the ones that trully love us will understand that we can not invite ALL that we wanted..but there are still special ways to make them feel they’re loved.
As for your question, i think i would contact those friends, yes.
Post # 4
I know it is short notice, but his friends should understand. Call and invite some of them ASAP. I don’t they would be offended. They have a couple of weeks to make a decision.
I think calling is best just so you can explain the situation personally. Send invites out afterwards. I know this is horrible ettiquete, etc. But wouldn’t you rather have more of ‘your’ people there instead?
Post # 5
If you have room in the budget still, invite his friends! Explain the situtation to them about his mother and they should understand.
Post # 6
@Beckster329: I think you should go ahead and invite them. Call friends and say that you had family end up not being able to make it and that you are able to accomodate more friends. Being on the B-list doesn’t bother me.
Post # 7
As you now have declines, go ahead and send out a few more invites, if you have 20 declines send out 20 invites etc. This is not the end of the world and there’s no reason you should even mention that they are substitute guests.
Post # 8
Yes, definitely extend a few additional invitations!
Post # 9
Thank you for all the comments, bees! I was starting to feel really down about the whole thing; I really just want my FI to feel loved and happy on our wedding day. I told him we should definitely invite more of his friends and he is looking over his original list to see who we can add. He seems happy at the idea of inviting more people, even if they won’t be able to make it on such short notice.
Post # 10
I completely sympathise. My fiance only has a niece and nephew attending. His siblings and mother are not coming, nor are any of his friends. He first pretended it didn’t bother him, but I knew it did. I feel so bad for him that of the few people who are important to him in his life, most couldn’t be bothered to even consider coming. I’m hoping my family can help make up the deficit by helping him feel welcome, but it really won’t be the same no matter what anyone does. He doesn’t even know my family that well. The only thing I know to do is just remind him how much I love him.
Post # 11
Yeah, I’d have your FI tell his friends that because of his mom’s list, he couldn’t invite friends, but his mom’s people fortunately flaked, so now he can invite people he ACTUALLY wants at his wedding.
Post # 12
when my cousin got married she sent out invites less than 2 weeks before the wedding..and no i wasnt on the b list..she was just a procrastinator…after that late invitations dont offend me…i just pretend the bride is a procrastinator
Post # 13
I would defiantly send out some more invites!
Post # 14
@Beckster329: That’s great! I hope they can make it!
Post # 15
We are going through this too. 🙁
Our wedding is across the country and most of his family said they would be happy to fly, now they are all bailing. Out of 105 people we only have 38 yeses.