- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My fiance is a recovering alcoholic and has social anxiety issues. Since he is a recovering alcoholic, who also abused drugs, he cannot take anything for his anxiety. Neither of these problems is usually an issue. He will go out with me to bars sometimes and doesn’t mind if I drink in front of him. I don’t drink at home or have alcohol at home but overall it’s not something that is an everyday issue for our relationship. The time when it becomes an issue is at weddings. We’ve had two huge fights in our relationship, both happening at weddings. So of course I’m worried about our wedding. And it sounds weird but the biggest issue with the wedding is the dancing. He doesn’t want to dance at all. I think he’ll do our first dance. But after that I’m pretty sure he wont dance at all. I am hurt because this is my wedding and I want to dance with my new husband. He says it’s his wedding and he won’t do anything hes not comfortable with. Maybe I don’t understand social anxiety. I am sure that’s part of it. But FI is a totally confident person. Maybe too confident. He has probably the best self esteem of anyone I know. He says that he has developed coping mechanisms to deal with things when he’s anxious and has trouble when meeting with groups of people. But it’s not like he tells me when he’s having anxiety. So basically the only time I hear about it is when we fight at weddings and he won’t dance. I tried to explain to him that what I see is that he’s fine all the time but he refuses to dance. I know a lot of it is just that I don’t understand social anxiety that well but I can’t help but be hurt. BLAH.
So any bees have a SO/FI with social anxiety? How do you deal?
Also, will anyone notice that I’m not dancing with my husband (besides maybe the 1st dance) at the wedding? Or is this something that I built up in my head?