Post # 1
I need a some Bee hugs. And maybe some reassurance that everything will be okay.
My FI needs heart surgery. This is not a surprise to us. He was born with a heart condition and always knew this day would come.
He was always open with me about it. He had one surgery when he was 8 and Drs. predicted he’d need valve replacement (heart bipass) by 18. He’s very active and healthy and made it to 33 without the surgery. But about a year ago, his tests came back showing his aorta was growing, which increases the risk of it rupturing. Drs. recommended he have surgery “within the year.”
He’s scared, we both cried. But we’re lucky that we live close to one of the best heart institutes in the world. It’s also better to do it now when he’s young and healthy that when he’s old and maybe just had a heart attack. So that’s that.
We got engaged about 3 months after that news and planned a 15 month engagement so that FI would have 18 months to book the surgery and recover before the wedding. His Drs said that would be fine. We picked a wedding date and booked vendors based on that timeline. Well, life got in the way and FI took 3 months to do a blood test (men! lol) … We met with the surgeon yesterday and have tentatively booked the last week of May for surgery.
That 16 weeks before our wedding! Oy.
We made the decision together based on lots of things (I won’t go into them here). It’s the best time for FI’s health, for his business (he’s CEO), and for us in terms of wedding/honeymoon/family planning … But it’s going to be hard being there for him while also making sure wedding stuff gets done (ex: our DIY invitations are supposed to go out 12 weeks before the wedding, so I’ll be DIY’ing in the hospital?!? I might have to rethink that one.)
There’s also a 1-2% chance that he’ll die on the operating table. I hate to even write that. But it’s the reality. We’ve talked about getting married JOP-style before the surgery and not telling anyone, just in case something happens.
So I’m 98-99% sure we’ll be fine and everything will go smoothly. But that 1-2% scares the crap out of both of us.
Hugs please? Thanks Bees.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear about your FI. But, it sounds like he has really great doctors and a really great FI standing by him. You guys will get through this.
Would you be able to start the wedding invitations earlier than 16 weeks prior to the wedding? I would try and get as much stuff done before his surgery in order to be able to fully concentrate on him, but that is just my opinion.
Sending tons of hugs, thoughts and prayers your way <3<3
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Lots of support coming your way. Any surgery involving the heart is nerve wracking and I couldn’t imagine dealing with it a few months before a wedding! Try to pace things out for yourself so you don’t get too stressed out. The faster he starts PT after the surgery, the better. It will be difficult for both of you but it will also strengthen your relationship.
Post # 5
Sending you hugs and best wishes! Is there are way you could send out the invites earlier? There’s nothing wrong about doing that and it would give you time to concentrate on helping him. Wish you guys the best and keep us all posted!
Post # 6
Your wedding will be all the more meaningful after this experience.
I actually got to watch an open heart surgery as a student. It was AMAZING. The doctor who did it made it look effortless. Remember, These guys do this stuff day in and day. They are experts, and you and your fiancee will be in good hands!
Post # 7
I’m so sorry to hear this! I can’t imagine doing both of these at the same time. In the end his health is the most important thing- is there any way to postpne the wedding to relieve some of the stress off both of you?If not I agree with everyon else about getting as much done ASAP as possible.
Sending BIG hugs!!
Post # 8
@LastGirlStanding: I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I recommend that you enlist all the support that you can. You won’t have the time or energy to manage DIY invitations so ask a friend for help or just buy them. Do whatever you can to make life easier on yourselves.
I like the idea of being legally married before the surgery. It may give you both strength to face it as man and wife 🙂 you will get through it!
Post # 9
Sending you all of my positive energy!
I can’t imagine how scary this must all be for you both, but keep positive – that’s all you can do 🙂
Big hugs sweetie!!
Post # 10
I’m sorry to hear you both have to go through this! If it helps at all (though I’m sure it won’t) my roommate had open heart surgery last year. I was expecting him to come home and have to be on the couch for weeks/months – but he was basically 100% better after about 2 weeks! It’s really amazing how quickly the body can heal.
My roommate had to have a heart valve replaced with an artificial one. He was ridiculously nervous to the point of tears when he thought about getting the surgery, but his surgeon told him that although it’s invasive and scary-sounding, that it’s a procedure that surgeons do all the time.
Good luck to you both!
Post # 11
My thoughts are with you. I hope and pray all goes well!
Post # 12
Aww, I’m so sorry you two have to deal with so much stress!
But how AMAZING is it that he more than doubled the life of his aorta? Clearly he is SUPER healthy!
He’s DEFINITELY going to be fine. If he was diagnosed with a cancer with a 99% survival rate, you’d be jumping for joy!
And soon the looming threat of needing a replacement won’t be floating over your heads (for another 10 years at least, right?). And that’s going to be an AMAZING feeling!
Post # 13
@LastGirlStanding: I am so sorry to hear this, but I am also glad you are both doing everything you know how to be prepared. Sending such positive thoughts your way and his. Best of luck, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Post # 14
@arsing89: @renwoman: @Hayley_N: @MrsPanda99:
I read somewhere that invitation should go out 12 weeks before a wedding – and it never occured to me that I could send them out earlier if I wanted/needed to. What an obvious idea. You just proved that I’ve been infected by the dreaded WED syndrome – ie “wedding etiquette disease”. lol Thanks!
@Bridey77: Thank you. It’s true the surgeons are really great. I just have to remember that.
@happyheidi1984: @Sunfire: Positive thinking is my mantra these days. But I appreciate the hugs and support – sometimes I just need them. 🙂
@leahthehun: That’s really interesting. Two weeks, eh? I know that the hospital will have him walking up a flight of stairs before they send him home, and that’s only 5-7 days post-surgery. That’s really interesting. Thanks for the story!
@BrandNewBride: It’s true. The success rate is really high compared to what some other people have to face. That’s a great perspective for me to think about. 🙂
@mrstea83: Thank you. I’ve leared more about how a human heart works than I ever thought I’d know! haha. Knowledge is power – and in this case, reassurance.
Post # 15
It must be a horrible situation and I will pray for you!
If you are worried about wedding stuff maybe you could get the DIY invitations out of the way now? I sent mine out really early!! It would give you more time in May to look after your fiance.
Post # 16
Sending you hugs and keeping you both in my thoughts!