Post # 1
I don’t want to make it sound like he hasn’t helped with wedding planning – he’s gone to meetings with me, helped me make decisions, etc, which I know is more than a lot of guys do.
My motto for this wedding has always been “It’s not a surprise party for FI”, so when we first started planning he said “I’ll take care of the DJ and transportation because I know some people”. This quickly turned into me taking care of the DJ because the better ones in our area were rapidly getting booked (we both wanted a one-man, professional guy, versus a giant company, and there are really only four DJs like that in our area) and FI was dragging his feet.
So we had a HDR (Heavy Deep and Real) over the weekend about how I was feeling overwhelmed by everything and it’s all I ever do – plan this wedding. Which don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my “vision” come to life – but as you guys know, it’s a lot of work. So he said “I promise I’ll do transportation, don’t worry about it”.
After I booked our florist yesterday, I mentioned “I guess I’ll start working on ceremony quartets since the next thing I was planning on doing is transportation…which you’re taking care of, right?”. FI mumbled something in response and I dropped in.
Well, imagine my surprise when I came out of the shower this morning and FI had started a SPREADSHEET on different transportation companies in our areas comparing costs, sizes, etc, had a list of questions to ask (“did you know that if you google “how to plan wedding transportation there are like, a MILLION websites with lists of questions and things to think about?”), and was on his way to start calling companies.
He hates when I gush over him, but dang – that boy is getting his favorite dinner cooked tonight!
Post # 3
@StL.Ashley: Haha glad he stepped up to help. DH was awesome at the beginning, helping to call venues and what not, but after he picked out his tux, he checked out. I put the Knot checklist in front of my DH’s face when we were planning becuase he thought I didn’t have that much to do. He was helping in a hurry after that and realized why I was so stressed out.
Post # 4
@StL.Ashley: I love “It’s not a surprise party for FI”! Good for you guys!
Mine really loves the *idea* of helping, and he really likes doing wedding stuff WITH me, but doing it alone is a whole different strugle. He contacted a few photographers last night though, so I have high hopes!
Post # 5
I admit to having to push FI to get going on some things, but others – like for instance, we’re planning on sending our documents over to the resort this weekend so that can get processed since we’re 5 months out and they need it by 60 days out – he had his divorce decree all ready before I even had a chance to ask if he’d looked for it. 😛
I think all they care about is that we show up and we’re happy, and sometimes they think that they won’t know what we’ll like or what’s pretty and just would rather let us run the show. Sigh… lol
Post # 6
Men not helping out with the wedding planning is completely foreign to me. The wedding is as much mine as it is my guy’s, so we work as a team to choose our inspiration and plan.
Post # 7
I gave FI a To Do list of all the things I expected him to do. I told him I was not planning OUR wedding by myself.
Post # 8
@letigre: Foreign to me too, we’re not even officially engaged and many nights he’ll spend time showing me things he’s found online, like venues, food ideas, honeymoon options. It’s been so much fun this way, he’s even given me some input on wedding dresses which I like.