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That sucks, I'd be jealous too (jealous that I wasn't going along on the trip, that is). I think it's normal to be jealous. Try to do something fun, or something for yourself (like a manicure, massage, facial etc) while he is gone.
@Angela83: I think that is why Im jealous - I want to be going on an awesome vacation! My MOH is coming over tonight to help me cut out programs (awesome! NOT) and then tomorrow going to a happy hour, going to a party on Friday and getting a facial on Saturday....so I think ill be good! I am also going to try to enjoy some alone time since I live with FI and my older brother who will be on the trip too I finally will have some peace and quiet!
Yeah that's one thing I don't get -- almost every time I read about these, the woman had a more lowkey bachelorette party and then the fiance flies off to Vegas. We lived together while we were engaged so maybe it's different, but financially, that would've been off the table for us. We can't afford for him to go play in Vegas for 5 days!
So I would totally resent that.
I'm with ribbons. I would resent that, too. Not that your bachelorette party wasn't fun for you, but that he gets the BIG stereotypical bachelor party trip. My husband and I had a joint bachelor/ette party, partly because of that reason. Lots of guys feel the bachelor party is more important and a big event, but we felt they needed to be equal or not at all.
That said, do lots of fun things for yourself while he's gone! LOTS. Try to make the best of it, and like you said, the quiet time might be kind of nice :)
Oh, i'd be totally jealous and crabby because it sounds like a blast!!! But then again, i went to LV for 3 days when a friend got married for her bachelorette party while DH was in Iraq. So yeah, he was jealous, too. But it was SOOOO much fun! Just tell him he owes you one...=].
Yes, I do resent it actually. Not that I didnt have a lot of fun during my bachelorette party but I just kept saying that its annoying that he gets this huge ridiculous thing. I really dont see why its necessary. He isnt even that big of a partier so its kind of dumb in my eyes. We are living together, and I guess it is financially possible. That meaning that he saved $1000 for it and I wanted a 2nd photographer but we "cant afford it". Such bullshit IMO. I think that might be what Im most annoyed about. Is the fact that there are so many things that I wanted for our wedding that have to be scratched because of this. Now, it IS FIs money (from stocks that he has owned since before we were engaged) but honestly we have shared our money for the past 2.5 years sooo at this point I dont really see a difference between his and my money. I was being a crabby brat to him all of last night and I dont plan on calling him while he is there. If he wants to talk to me he can call me. I know this is immature and some women are probably going to say "suck it up and let him have a great time!" but I just dont see why he gets to go all out with his boys when I have to sacrifice for it. Well, its too late now - he is leaving from work in 45 minutes to go to the airport.
@clarebee: I'm sorry and I don't think it's immature to be upset. Just be sure to take a trip without him after you're married :)
But it does kind of sound like you two have different definitions of what is your combined money and how you both get to spend it? I would maybe talk about that after this trip. It's a legitimate thing to be upset about.
@ribbons: Thank you for the support! Usually he is very very good about "our" money and there really is no line. It might just be this one instance that he is like well this is my last time to have "my money" go to something I want. I already told him I am going to take a girls trip somewhere after we are married without him!
I know I will be okay - it is just a temporary feeling of annoyance!
PS - MOH and I just decided that in 2012 when our other friend graduates from pharmacy school we want to go to Atlantis!!! I think that will make up for this :-)
I'll be in your shoes pretty soon! FI's best man just offered to take him to Vegas for the weekend at the end of the month. Otherwise, FI wouldn't be going as there's no way we can afford it. My FI's not a big partier at ALL and I'm a touch irritated (ok, maybe jealous) that he's going. My bachelorette party is a couple days at the beach and while it's exactly what I wanted, we had both talked about having low key parties but a free Vegas trip was too tempting to FI!
@Treasure43: glad you can feel my pain :-) but not glad you are feeling the pain! I am totally jealous and I hate that feeling but I have a hard time controlling it! I think I am also annoyed that I have 150 programs to cut, fold, tape, glue and ribbon and only 5 weeks to do them!!
I am having a wine and sushi night tonight to make myself feel better :-P
@clarebee: I can't say I know how you feel, but if I were in your situation, I would be as annoyed and resentful as you are. Why did you have to scrap the second photographer just for him to go on a 5 day binge in Vegas? So not fair! And, I don't think you're immature for not calling him while he's there either...I would definitely do the same thing. Call me crazy, but it's BOTH of your weddings and you should both be saving anything you can to make what you want happen. I just don't think it's fair that you sacraficed and he didn't...I'm kind of mad for you! Haha...
Why is he going for 5 days?! He will be so over vegas after like 3 days haha. I understand your frustration b/c i also LOVE vegas so i would be hella jealous. Luckily my FI's bachelor party is at his hunting cabin in the middle of the woods for a weekend - no jealousy there LOL.
@2PeasinaPod: well its not that I had the photographer to begin with its just that I was under the impression we wouldnt have been able to afford it but then come to find out how much money hell be spending on his bachelor party.
So the thing is that his best man planned all of this because it was a surprise for FI (although he found out where he was going like a month ago!) so FI really didnt have anything to do with the fact that they were going to Vegas for 5 days. I kept saying that 5 days is so long and Im like that is not a bachelor party thats a vacation! I think I am also annoyed at his best man for not really thinking about anyone else. Honestly FI told me his dream bachelor party is to drink whiskey, smoke cigars, and play poker. I mean they will be doing all those things but on a very grand scale!! It is just much easier to be annoyed with my FI than his BM!! I just really have no desire to talk to him while he is there.
Im just hoping the next 5 days go by quickly!!!
OH and I just read this post on another Vegas thread so now Im kind of giggling inside and Im totally going to hide the Advil when he gets home :-)
snowflake119 (message) Stanford, CA
Actually, I think this is a great idea. For those of you who've been there ... haha... let me just say that 4 days in Vegas is way, WAY too much vegas! This will totally backfire on his GM, by the time he's done there he will never want to party, drink, buy an expensive meal, or gamble for the next ten years. He will just want to sit quietly by your side and go to bed early. Winner = you.
I know exactly how you feel as my FI is going with 20+ guys to Vegas next month for 3 days. I love him to death and I know he would never do anything he isn't supposed to (I already set the rules...lol) but I know they will be hitting strip clubs every night as I know his boys very well. I really don't mind him seeing other women naked...it's the "touching" that gets me a lil jealous. My comfort is that I am going to have my bachelorette party in Vegas too 2 weeks after he comes back...and most likely my girls and I have will have a much better time than the boys will.
Stay strong though....keep yourself occupied and don't let your mind race about what he may or may not be doing. I think you shouldn't let him know how much it is bothering you though because he may not feel comfortable or want to tell you what they are doing or where they went, etc.... for fear that he may upset you even more. Just tell him to have a great time and that you look forward to him coming home to you....I think this will help him feel excited about his return and miss you even more.
Remember...stay strong! Call your girlfriends for support if you have to!
@futureMrs.L: thank you! I really appreciate that! I agree that its not the strip clubs themselves that bother me its the touching. I already said no lap dances! He doesnt really like strip clubs but as I said his friends are mad that he doesnt want to go to one! I imagine that he will be black out drunk and they will get him to go at that point. Which I guess that scares me a little bit because then he wont remember what he did!!
I am going to be with my MOH all weekend so hopefully that will help!!
I just want it all to be over and for him to be back home and us to be back to normal with only a little more than a month til our wedding!
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FI is leaving tonight for his FIVE DAY BACHELOR PARTY...in Vegas. Please kill me now. I am not looking forward to the next 5 days or the days following that because there will be constant talk of how much fun was had and all the cool things that were done and how crazy FI acted etc etc. Just not looking forward to it. FI told his BM that he didnt want to go to a strip club but apparently several of the guys going complained incessantly about this fact so Im sure they will end up going to one. Whatever. I think I may be a tad bit jealous (which I hate to say) because my bachelorette was just a night in with all my girls and then the next night out for dinner and bar hopping in DC. If FI was having a regular bachelor party instead of some extravagant thing I think I would be more okay. I just dont like the thought of FI and 13 other guys roaming around Vegas for 5 days. Someone please tell me they know how Im feeling!!! :-(