- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1990
Made up account to keep my real self a mystery!
My fiance is still in contact with his ex girlfriend. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem for me… but I have seen a couple text messages from her on his phone in the past that worried me.
Now for a little background on the subject: She doesn’t contact him very often (still more often then I’d like, obviously) but when she does, Its a couple days of calls and texts back and forth, so I began sneaking peeks at his cell phone. The last time we got into a fight about this (about 6 months ago, a couple months before he proposed), it was because I found this text:
HER: “How about dinner?”
HIM: “Yes, dinner would be nice”
Now, I know that sometimes It can REALLY easy to jump to conclusions about portions of a text message convo, but this was just a little too wierd to me. Not to mention in the past, I’ve seen texts that say:
‘HER: I’m in town’ and ‘HER: I’m at (insert sandwich shop name here)’.
Why on earth would she be telling him where she is?
Long story short, I told him that I didn’t like the fact that he still talks to her (I’m not in contact with any of my exes, and have NEVER done anything like this). We got over it. (kinda)
Anyway, back to present day: Wednesday we went out to dinner, and she called while we were at dinner. He doesn’t answer. I, of course, make a sarcastic, snarky comment about it, then blow it off.
Yesterday, we had lunch, then he had to leave to go to a bunch of meetings he set up for his job (he’s a consultant). While he’s getting ready, phone vibrates. It’s from her.
“So are we meeting?”
I flipped my lid. I ask him how often they have been talking and he says, “Oh, you know how she is, she’s so annoying, won’t leave me alone. I never call/text her”
Well, FI is on my cell phone plan, so I went to my computer, googled her phone number, and looked it up in his call usage & text usage. They have sent texts back and forth for the last three days, as well as phone calls. By this time, he had left for his ‘meeting’ so I printed it out, circled her numbers in a big fat red pen, and left it on the bed for him to find when he got home. Then, I texted him “Don’t bother contacting me until you want to be honest.”
Anyway, after a lot of crying at work, staying out late (didn’t really want to go home to him), and sending angry texts back and forth (including, “you better not be in my bed when i get home.” I go home and look on the cell phone usage again… TONS of texts back and forth ALL day.
This morning (after waking up alone), I stole his phone and looked at all the messages, and he deleted ALL of hers. Nobody elses.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I want to believe he’s not doing anything wrong, BUT HE IS! He knows what he’s doing is hurting me.
I know I’m obviously having trust issues, but how to I solve this problem? Do I call his ex and tell her to stay away? Do I break up with him? Do I just blow it off because I’m overreacting?
Please advise. I’m a wreck.