(Closed) fi is mad. im annoyed !!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

That’s not good at all.  I do think 3 am is late but you shouldn’t have to justify wanting to go out with friends especially since he was out with his friends earlier.

Post # 4
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Speaking as someone who just posted something about people “yelling at you” on facebook, let me tell you that your FI’s BS is really and truly BS ! Tell him to delete his comment.

And why does he think leaving you alone all day is ok, yet you cannot do what you wish at night?

Post # 5
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

You gave him a chance to say if he didn’t want you going out and it is not your fault he didn’t have his phone on! It isn’t like you just decided to go out at 3 in the morning and he had no idea where you were.

I think he is acting childish. He is a grown man not a high school boy and should be able to trust you to go out with your girlfriends. I agree that the facebook comment needs to be deleted and a talk needs to be had.

Post # 6
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

This doesn’t seem like healthy behavior to me. You need to be able to maintain independence outside of your relationship and still be able to have quality time together. As long as you’re not out with your girls every weekend, he should be able to handle you going out alone every now and then. Maybe you should think about taking a marriage workshop, in Texas we have a program that’s offered for free (Twogether in Texas) and it’s very helpful. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I feel like I’ve read 3 or 4 posts lately about passive aggressive facebook comments. What is it with facebook and bringing out the passive agressive in everyone. I would let him know that you need time with your friends, just as he does. You need to be able to go out with your friends without him yelling at you and you two arguing.

Post # 8
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My FI did somethign similar once. I told him to delete it from facebook immediately. He did. Then I explained if he is going to roll with me he has to learn to roll my way or no way. That being said, we had a long talk about why he thinks I should be home way before 3am. I have agreed that walking in the door at 3 am is probably not nice. But sometimes it just happens. No one wants to be the punk girl who has to ditch her friends to get home so her SO doesn’t get pissed. Sounds like you two need a serious talk about expectations. Maye he expects you to be home at a certain hour? Maybe his daytime bike riding is his way of having fun with the guys without being out all night? IDK, but you two surely have to nip this in the bud. Because before you know it you will be arguing about this all the time.  

Post # 9
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yeah, that FB thing would piss me off and my FI wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did that to me. Now that being said, I think you should confront him in a calm manner and ask him what his deal is. He has no right to lay into you like that, as if you were a child.

Post # 10
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow…. He really had to blast his own FI on facebook…. I’m glad your not going to lay down and let him be pissy towards you.  Tell him to put his big girl panties on and deal with the fact that you want to hang out with your girlfriends.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I completely agree that the facebook rant was uncalled for, and how he spoke to you was uncalled for…BUT.  Try to flip the situation around and put yourself in his shoes.  If you were out with your friends all day, looking forward to spending the evening with your FI, then came home to your FI out with his friends, and he didn’t get home til 3 am…how would you feel?  I’m not saying one person was in the right and one was in the wrong by any means, but I think you guys do need to discuss your expectations with each other (calmly) because otherwise, this kind of thing may happen a lot.  Good communication is key, and it seems like this was all caused by a MIS-communication.

Post # 12
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Whoa, none of that is cool at all in my book.  He should of never brought it to FB, this is a private issue.  I also don’t think he should be jealous at all.  I go out as often as I’d like to (it works out to be once a week, maybe twice) and my husband never says a word about it.  He certainly doesn’t tell me what time is a respectable time to come home.  It is what it is, I always keep him informed about who I’m with, where we are and what time I expect to be home.  Not because he asks, but because I want to.  Is he often like that?  It sounds like he is, and it doesn’t sound like its something you can deal with forever either.  I’d have a serious talk with him.  But I’d want to talk to him when neither one of you is upset, communication always works better that way, right?! 

Post # 13
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m sorry this happened. Seeing as you were both a little upset to be left alone at different points in the day, sounds like you need to set some “rules” (for lack of a better word) about going out with friends and respecting each other at the same time.

Post # 15
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If it’s just a one off thing, I can understand extenuating circumstances causes additional drama for a night (sometimes I’m cranky and take it out on my SO for no reason, I understand)  But if his actions become the norm, you should seriously consider what childish behavior he is displaying.

Post # 16
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

He should be ok with you hanging out with your girlfriends…he needs to grow up. You left him three messages! And he was gone all day. Unless he already made plans for the two of you, he has no reason to be upset.

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