Post # 1
sooo, yesterday i went to dinner with some girlfriends. fi was out allll day riding his motorcycle with one of his friends and his phone was turned off….. anyways my girls wanted to go out… and i never ever have the weekend off… so i call to ask fi if he minded…. i left messages… like 3… and then he finally calls me back at 930 pm… he says ‘fine i guess ill just hang out by myself all night’… okay?!? i was by myself all day!! ugh! then he posts ‘im so sick of this bullshit’ on facebook and proceeds to let the whole world know how mad he is that i am going out without him. i am thouroghly pissed by now… so i stay out and try to have a good time with my girlfriends. anyways i come home at 3 am… try to get in my house and somehow my house key was like bent…. it took me like 3 minuteds to open the door bc i couldnt get the key in…. meanwhile my 2 dogs are barking soooo loud…. fi comes storming out and yelling about how i cant come home at a respectable time. 🙁 ugh. nyways i spent the night in the spare bedroom. he is still at work right now and i am just dreading him coming home! i thought he was done with the being jealous about me having a girls night and all that… i guess not. hes just gonna have to get over it… bc i hate jealous guys and i am not his b**ch who he han tell what to do and yell and scream at! well…. i feel much better now 🙂
Post # 3
That’s not good at all. I do think 3 am is late but you shouldn’t have to justify wanting to go out with friends especially since he was out with his friends earlier.
Post # 4
Speaking as someone who just posted something about people “yelling at you” on facebook, let me tell you that your FI’s BS is really and truly BS ! Tell him to delete his comment.
And why does he think leaving you alone all day is ok, yet you cannot do what you wish at night?
Post # 5
You gave him a chance to say if he didn’t want you going out and it is not your fault he didn’t have his phone on! It isn’t like you just decided to go out at 3 in the morning and he had no idea where you were.
I think he is acting childish. He is a grown man not a high school boy and should be able to trust you to go out with your girlfriends. I agree that the facebook comment needs to be deleted and a talk needs to be had.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park
This doesn’t seem like healthy behavior to me. You need to be able to maintain independence outside of your relationship and still be able to have quality time together. As long as you’re not out with your girls every weekend, he should be able to handle you going out alone every now and then. Maybe you should think about taking a marriage workshop, in Texas we have a program that’s offered for free (Twogether in Texas) and it’s very helpful. Good luck!
Post # 7
I feel like I’ve read 3 or 4 posts lately about passive aggressive facebook comments. What is it with facebook and bringing out the passive agressive in everyone. I would let him know that you need time with your friends, just as he does. You need to be able to go out with your friends without him yelling at you and you two arguing.
Post # 8
My FI did somethign similar once. I told him to delete it from facebook immediately. He did. Then I explained if he is going to roll with me he has to learn to roll my way or no way. That being said, we had a long talk about why he thinks I should be home way before 3am. I have agreed that walking in the door at 3 am is probably not nice. But sometimes it just happens. No one wants to be the punk girl who has to ditch her friends to get home so her SO doesn’t get pissed. Sounds like you two need a serious talk about expectations. Maye he expects you to be home at a certain hour? Maybe his daytime bike riding is his way of having fun with the guys without being out all night? IDK, but you two surely have to nip this in the bud. Because before you know it you will be arguing about this all the time.
Post # 9
Yeah, that FB thing would piss me off and my FI wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did that to me. Now that being said, I think you should confront him in a calm manner and ask him what his deal is. He has no right to lay into you like that, as if you were a child.
Post # 10
Wow…. He really had to blast his own FI on facebook…. I’m glad your not going to lay down and let him be pissy towards you. Tell him to put his big girl panties on and deal with the fact that you want to hang out with your girlfriends. Good luck!
Post # 11
I completely agree that the facebook rant was uncalled for, and how he spoke to you was uncalled for…BUT. Try to flip the situation around and put yourself in his shoes. If you were out with your friends all day, looking forward to spending the evening with your FI, then came home to your FI out with his friends, and he didn’t get home til 3 am…how would you feel? I’m not saying one person was in the right and one was in the wrong by any means, but I think you guys do need to discuss your expectations with each other (calmly) because otherwise, this kind of thing may happen a lot. Good communication is key, and it seems like this was all caused by a MIS-communication.
Post # 12
Whoa, none of that is cool at all in my book. He should of never brought it to FB, this is a private issue. I also don’t think he should be jealous at all. I go out as often as I’d like to (it works out to be once a week, maybe twice) and my husband never says a word about it. He certainly doesn’t tell me what time is a respectable time to come home. It is what it is, I always keep him informed about who I’m with, where we are and what time I expect to be home. Not because he asks, but because I want to. Is he often like that? It sounds like he is, and it doesn’t sound like its something you can deal with forever either. I’d have a serious talk with him. But I’d want to talk to him when neither one of you is upset, communication always works better that way, right?!
Post # 13
I’m sorry this happened. Seeing as you were both a little upset to be left alone at different points in the day, sounds like you need to set some “rules” (for lack of a better word) about going out with friends and respecting each other at the same time.
Post # 14
thanks for your resposes everyone!
we did talk and work everything out. i was just soo pissed! anyways. fi goes out about once a week with his friends… i work nights till about 1 am on the weekends usually so he is getting home about when i get home or a little after. i actually had a saturday night off so yea… i went out for a girls night… which i NEVER do. and no i do not get upset when he goes out.. i actually encourage him to! he works long days and needs a break sometimes! hes not usually so crazy like he was that night… hopefully he never acts like that again! i made him delete the facebook stuff. we have been together almost 4 years and he has only acted like that once before… and we talked it out and things were fine. i just hope our talk was the end of all that nonsense. 🙂
Post # 15
If it’s just a one off thing, I can understand extenuating circumstances causes additional drama for a night (sometimes I’m cranky and take it out on my SO for no reason, I understand) But if his actions become the norm, you should seriously consider what childish behavior he is displaying.
Post # 16
He should be ok with you hanging out with your girlfriends…he needs to grow up. You left him three messages! And he was gone all day. Unless he already made plans for the two of you, he has no reason to be upset.